Ear piercing

[earpiercing]

Took my daughter to get her ears pierced today. Thought I was doing the best thing taking her to a proper piercer, she had the first one done and then got in such a state and refused to have the other ear done. If I'd done to somewhere using a gun they would've done them both at the same time.
I've asked if she will go back tomorrow but she's flat out refusing.
I feel like the piercer could've been more discreet with the needle but she wasn't.
She managed to get the needle in the other ear but my daughter moved so didn't get the earring in, she said she needle to put the needle in again to use the tube for the earring..
I feel awful and like I've failed as a parent today and put my child through so much trauma for one ear to be done.
I suffer with bad anxiety and have found today so triggering.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation?

How old is the child?

Doesn't sound like she's old enough or mature enough for ear piercing. I'd take the other one out and let it heal and revisit at a later date.

If she's caused that much fuss then she's clearly not mature enough to have them pierced. If she won't return tomorrow and you can't get the earring in yourself then I would take the piercing out and let it heal up.

Take the one earring out and don't take her again until she asks.

personally I don't think guns are that bad for lobes. Sure they aren't as safe as needles but lobes are very difficult to damage and at least it's instant. I'd choose guns if I was going to have my lobes pierced again. I'm not squeamish and have quite a few body piercings done with needles.

Assuming she is old enough to have made this choice, she’ll just have to choose whether to live with having one ear pierced, get the other done, or take it out and abandon the idea for now.

If you decided to do this to a child too young to actively choose this then you will need ri make the decision for her. I’d suggest then leaving it until she is old enough to make the choice herself.

Try and relax - I can see why you tried the needle approach. This is simple isn't it? She can go back at some stage when ready and get other ear done via needle or gun, or she can take the one that's done out, and try and get both done in whatever way she's happy with down the line.

You haven't failed as a parent, it's one of those things that was unexpectedly harder than it seemed.

De escalate it for you both, mentally.

It's a difficult experience - I remember the shock of getting my ears done, if you're lucky, it's your first real experience of that sort of shocking you're not in control procedure.

She won't let me take the other piercing out - she's very pleased with it which is why it's so much more frustrating ☹️

How old is she?

5

Shes too young, I’m surprised a piercer would do it, my one won’t do it til they’re 8 and they won’t do kids under 12 that haven’t been smothered in emla numbing cream.

she’ll just have to have one earring, not sure why it matters that she doesn’t have it matching.

That's a bit young IMO.

If the needle went in the other ear, can you not just put an ear ring in that hole now?

Why on earth would you take a five year old to have her ears pierced?
Just take the one you've done out and leave it until she's old and mature enough to understand what is involved and make the decision for herself.

Far too young.
Most piercers are 8 for a reason.
Just leave it for a few years.

Gosh she's so young! It doesn't matter if she likes it or she's proud of it I would be telling her it has to come out as she's obviously too young to look after it.

Then once removed I would wait until she's at least 9/10 before getting them pierced again.

Why would think it was a good idea get a 5 year olds ears pierced they wouldn't even be able to take them out and put them in for PE at school.

She's way too young to get her ears pierced. Sorry, but you brought this complication on yourself. Good luck with the aftercare on her one ear.

Fuck sake. Ok so she has one earring until she's old enough to ask for the other one 🤷🏼‍♀️ beats me why anyone would think a 5 year old has capacity to consent to piercings. Clearly she wasn't ready.

Because the needle came out again without pulling the earring through. She's just got a healing wound now, you can't just shove an earring through it, it would be excruciating and unsanitary.

Well she doesn't want the other ear done. If she had a fear of needles and reacted in that way it's really unfortunate. But you're right in that a professional piercer is better than a gun at Clare's or whatever.
If she requested it, then I don't know why she got so scared tbh. It's not like the pain lasts more than a second. I guess she thought she was ready but she wasn't.
Hopefully no long lasting harm done.
I wouldn't let my kid Peirce their ears until aged about 9 or 10, and only if they kept badgering me. But you've not done anything wrong so don't worry.

5!! I think that's way too young. She'll have years of not being allowed to wear earrings at school so will constantly be taking them out and trying to get them in again. My DDs' school was so strict about earrings. I took them both to get them done after they had finished their GCSEs as they were allowed in 6th form.

Feel like the worst parent in the world and this thread has confirmed it.
I'm sat crying feeling sick to my stomach.
I should never have taken her.

Why on earth are you letting a five year old dictate whether they have their ears pierced and then keep the one earring in when they are clearly not mature enough to make this decision. She’s far too young.

@BobbyBiscuits If she requested it, then I don't know why she got so scared tbh. It's not like the pain lasts more than a second she got scared because she's too young to understand what she was asking for!!

I would remove it when she’s asleep.