Ear piercing

[earpiercing]

Took my daughter to get her ears pierced today. Thought I was doing the best thing taking her to a proper piercer, she had the first one done and then got in such a state and refused to have the other ear done. If I'd done to somewhere using a gun they would've done them both at the same time.
I've asked if she will go back tomorrow but she's flat out refusing.
I feel like the piercer could've been more discreet with the needle but she wasn't.
She managed to get the needle in the other ear but my daughter moved so didn't get the earring in, she said she needle to put the needle in again to use the tube for the earring..
I feel awful and like I've failed as a parent today and put my child through so much trauma for one ear to be done.
I suffer with bad anxiety and have found today so triggering.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation?

Absolutely ridiculous

You are not the worst parent in the world. Yes, she is too young, but you've made a mistake and it really isn't a huge one in the grand scheme. Just let her keep her one earring and address getting the second one pierced down the line when she's a little older.

We all make stupid decisions and yes this was one. Don't beat yourself up but learn from it. The odd earring will be a good reminder for quite a few years to come 😆

That will hurt and be unlikely to be successful

I was 5 years old and wanted my ears pierced. The piercings never got infected. My mum showed me how to look after them, take them out etc. OP's DD is not a baby or a toddler.

5 is too young IMO. Most reputable piercers won’t do them under 8 years.
Yes you made a stupid mistake but shit happens. She can have 1 earring until she’s old enough and mature enough to consent to a second one or she can take out the first one and let it heal. It needs to be her choice

@DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum yeah, I get that, I did follow it with 'she thought she was ready but wasn't.' I agree that reaction shouldn't really be taking place if the kid is emotionally able to understand and consent.

You're nowhere near claiming the title of worst parent ever - we've all done things that didn't turn out so well. I've seen quite a few very small children with their ears done, can't be that unusual.

I’d say to her that she’s got 2 options, either you remove the one that’s already done, or she goes back and gets the other one done.

Shes a bit young yeah, but it’s not the end of the world. If you take it out now it’ll heal up quickly and fine, but I think I’d be tempted to try really hard to get her to get the other one done as otherwise you may just have this again in a few years. I’d be telling her how proud of herself she’d be if she goes back and can show her friends etc.

I don't understand the logic in people saying to take the one she had successfully pierced out, especially given she's really pleased it with it.

Let her decide to have the other ear done if and when she's ready, and in the meantime let her rock the one pierced ear look.

Don't think 5 is too young and and no harm in having just one done. Everyone has the right to change their mind half way through. Don't take it personally as a parent. It's a tiny little hole at the end of the day and barely noticeable should she let it heal and then take it out.

Needle piercing is a bit more involved than a gun, and no matter what the piercer did , your daughter would've known exactly what was going on with the 2nd earring .

There's no legal age but most places won;t pierce below a certain age .(usually 9+ depending on where you live .Some places 16+)

And Piercing Parlours are a different astmosphere , there will be more adults , no racks of things on sale and not the sit in the big chair like Claires .
Your DD might've heard from her friends about piercing and thought this was how it would be .
Her experience was not .

My DD (now 22yo) had her lobes pierced at Claires but her cartilidges and belly at a Piercer . DD is not good with needles but she wanted it done .

I take it she asked to have them done?

Far too young in my opinion, but its done now.
A chat tomorrow explaining that you took her because she wanted them doing (I hope!) and that unfortunately she has shown she isn’t mature enough for her ears to be pierced yet. She either carries on with one ear ring, but is prepared that peers my point it out and laugh, she gets the other done to match, or she takes it out and you revisit the situation in a few years when she is older.

You don’t need to beat yourself up and you’re absolutely not the worst parent in the world. You meant well but it was, perhaps, a bit ill-advised. Taking the earring out while she’s asleep may not be a bad plan. She’s far too young to properly understand piercing aftercare anyway, so you could come across issues there, and that really would be horrible! If you think it best to leave it in, that isn’t the end of the world, and I suppose she may come around to having the other done sooner, which seems to be a big factor in your worries.

Ahh don't feel bad, you weren't to know and plenty of others have theirs done at this age. I am taking DS to have his done at 9 but I feel he is too young although I promised him 2 years ago.

I would leave it in, make sure it's cleaned etc and she may decide that she wants the other one done to match (or take it out or just have one).

Why on earth would you bring a 5 year old to get her ears pierced? Absolutely insane.

OP you're not the worst parent in the world. Loads of people get children's ears pierced. People who post on MN can be supportive and informative, but there are also some who seem to enjoy being nasty to strangers. Either let the one hole close or let your DD have one earring, and let her know she can have the second when she wants to try again.

She's just not old enough at 5. 😳

You're not the worst person in the world! A lot of people on here are just vile.

I can't tell you how many children in my Daughters class had their ears pierced even younger than that.

So it didn't pan out, but everything is going to be fine. You could take the earring out and leave it until she's older to get them pierced again, or just leave the one in until she decides she wants the other one.

You are seriously not a bad parent because you took your Daughter to get her ears pierced. There are far worse things. Hope you are ok x

@earpiercing You are absolutely not the worst parent in the world. The fact your so upset shows how much your care.

Kids are unpredictable.

Would I take my 5yo absolutely not! But I bet I’ve made a ton of mistakes that you wouldn’t have made.

Mistakes happen, it’s just worse when it’s our kids. You’ve made a mistake and you will feel better soon, in the meantime the anxiety will take hold. Anxiety is so generous like that 🤣

Keep doing your best. 💐 Also I can guarantee all these perfect MN posters have also made mistakes in their life.

please don’t beat yourself up about this, all children and different, some will react differently. I know of an older child that had a similar reaction and not something you can predict. Some of the responses on here are horrible and not what you needed to hear. Maybe just give it a bit more time and see how your daughter feels about getting the other one done.