Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Right to be furious?

55 replies

mommyandmore · 28/06/2024 06:41

My DD who is 2 years old suffers with allergies. So far she's tested positive for milk and dogs. On Sunday she was accidentally licked by a poodle and developed an allergic reaction on Sunday evening which we think was from the dog she came in contact with. We gave her piriton and it went down.

She was extremely unsettled Wednesday evening and at 4am I decided to take off her vest as she was scratching like mad and the I saw she was covered in hives. Again gave her piriton and it went down. She went to her childminder as usual and the CM calls at 4pm saying she was having another reaction and asked if she could administer piriton. She sent a photo of DD in her nappy sitting on the carpet and she looked terrible. She was covered in hives and her skin was so red and angry. I went to pick her up straight away. On my way there my husband said I should just check the CM hadn't had a dog there. I told him he was mad as she knows our DD is allergic.
It turns out she had a dog there on Tuesday with my DD there too. Where she had taken my daughter's clothes off to monitor her, she had hives all over the body - nappy area, all on her back and tummy and exposed areas like her arms etc. I've never seen anything like it. It makes me think it's what she has been in contact with that the dog has also been on.

I would never risk someone else's child being around a dog without the parents consent - you just never know with dogs and toddlers. Secondly I'm soooooo upset she never told us when our daughter is allergic! It's like making a peanut butter sandwich around someone who is allergic to nuts!
Am I overreacting or do I have every right to be pissed off? We are waiting to monitor DD over the weekend but I feel I need to say something to the CM. We've only used her for 3 weeks and this is really concerning for me.

Right to be furious?
Right to be furious?
Right to be furious?
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
pinkwaterbottle9 · 28/06/2024 06:43

No you have every right to be furious. Poor child. You need a new CM I'm afraid.

CowTown · 28/06/2024 06:46

Yes, this is akin to making a PB sandwich near a child with PB allergies. Your CM knowingly did this. As a mother, what will you do? I know what I would do.

Marblessolveeverything · 28/06/2024 06:49

I honestly would be looking into negligence and if she is registered with any body report her.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families
bergamotorange · 28/06/2024 06:51

Unfortunately you need a new CM, it is not ok to expose a child to known allergens.

AnotherVice · 28/06/2024 06:55

Agreed. She risked your baby's life, you can't take her back there.

Whinge · 28/06/2024 07:01

AnotherVice · 28/06/2024 06:55

Agreed. She risked your baby's life, you can't take her back there.

This

She knows about your DD's allergies and still exposed her to a dog. That's negligence. I would remove your DD from the setting and report to Ofsted.

Andwegoroundagain · 28/06/2024 07:03

Edited as I re read the post.
I suspect CM didn't realise the severity of the allergy. You'll need to discuss this in detail with her to understand her thought process ans decide from there

Overthebow · 28/06/2024 07:06

Have you asked the childminder about it? What did the childminder say if she knows your daughter is allergic?

shearwater2 · 28/06/2024 07:09

Andwegoroundagain · 28/06/2024 07:03

Edited as I re read the post.
I suspect CM didn't realise the severity of the allergy. You'll need to discuss this in detail with her to understand her thought process ans decide from there

Edited

Sounds more like she is one of those people who thinks allergies didn't exist in their day and the parent is just making it up or exaggerating for attention.

mrssunshinexxx · 28/06/2024 07:11

Report her she is not taking your child's allergies seriously. What else wouldn't she ?

CelesteCunningham · 28/06/2024 07:13

Andwegoroundagain · 28/06/2024 07:03

Edited as I re read the post.
I suspect CM didn't realise the severity of the allergy. You'll need to discuss this in detail with her to understand her thought process ans decide from there

Edited

The childminder knew there was an allergy, severity doesn't come in to it. Parents can risk assess when it comes to allergies (I do all the time) but it's not the childminder's call. She knowingly exposed a child to a known allergen, that's awful.

AGlinnerOfHope · 28/06/2024 07:42

Thing is, a skin reaction to an allergen is unpleasant.
She could have had a breathing reaction.

The child minder risked your DC's life.

trextape · 28/06/2024 08:35

presumably you are absolutely NEVER going to send her back?

trextape · 28/06/2024 08:36

and she only started last month?!

Procrastinates · 28/06/2024 08:48

Of course you're not overreacting! You need to remove her from the childminder immediately and if possible report her if she's part of a professional body.

This women should not be working in childcare if she's so cavalier around exposing small children to dogs without informing their parents and known allergies!

johnd2 · 28/06/2024 10:42

Oh dear that's a basic safety thing, normally childminders would be super careful about all safety and safeguarding things because they are absolutely basic and essential to be in charge of other people's children!

I agree raise it with Ofsted as they will investigate any issues like this and make sure appropriate action is taken.

Topjoe19 · 28/06/2024 10:45

I'd be utterly raging!!!! How unbelievably negligent! She should not be a CM.

Superscientist · 28/06/2024 14:08

I would be furious.
My daughter has multiple food allergies and is in nursery. Every single member of staff knows her allergies. There have been a few incidents where her book lists the wrong food and includes her allergens. As soon as I have raised it with a staff member, it doesn't matter who, they say "oh no, she didn't have that, she can't have X"

We have had 1 incident where a cake accidentally had her name on it and contained one of her allergens. The staff member who did the food shop walked past her, realised immediately that she shouldn't be eating it. Took it off her, delivered antihistamines and phoned me. This happened at 3pm. By the time I dropped her off the next morning at 8am they had a new system in place and now the foods no longer are labelled with names but what allergens it doesn't have so everyone handling the food knows whether it is safe for any of the allergy children there.

There seems to be a disregard for making sure that sources of reactions are identified and the risks of repeated reactions reduced. This for me would be a concern

loriginale · 01/07/2024 10:08

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Original poster
mommyandmore · 01/07/2024 21:37

We had a chat with her last night. She was extremely defensive and never apologised. When I told her of my disappointment she said it was our fault because she asked about allergies when we visited and we only told her about the CMPA. We then said it was because there was absolutely no sign of a dog in her house so we presumed it wouldn't be an issue. Also, the dog allergy was in her paperwork she got on DD first day so she was aware.

To be honest, her tone was completely off and it's a red flag for me. However, we've had to send her this week. I will be looking for alternative options to move her. It's such a shame because this CM is rated 'outstanding' and I had high hopes. I'm just blown away as to how and why she doesn't see it as an issue.
She also said lots of her CM friends have dogs so are we saying she can't visit them...just really defensive stuff like that.
The dog was a neighbours who she dog sits for when the owner is in the city at work...baffled why she never told us or asked if we are okay with it.
She also said she'd need to get advice from the borough as she's uncomfortable giving our child meds for allergic reactions as this was quite bad. It's piriton! She was more concerned about how this would effect her with little regard to our child and how being around dogs is going to effect her. Such a crap experience and gutted because I know lots of CM are great.

Thanks for all of your opinions x

OP posts:
Longdueachange · 01/07/2024 22:11

when we visited and we only told her about the CMPA. We then said it was because there was absolutely no sign of a dog in her house so we presumed it wouldn't be an issue. Also, the dog allergy was in her paperwork she got on DD first day so she was aware. sounds like you were both in the wrong. You can't presume anything when it's a private home, and if you didnt mention it she probably wrongly thought it was a mild allergy, or overlooked it altogether on the paperwork. I sympathise, if the animal I am allergic to (cat) touches me I get a rash and my throat swells. I can't even be in a room where a cat has been without getting a reaction, which will probably be the case with your dc. I think you would be safer in a formal nursery, where there is no chance of a dog entering the premises.

socks1107 · 01/07/2024 22:15

I wouldn't send her back there and would seek to file a complaint

Universalsnail · 01/07/2024 22:19

Ex childminder here and also mum to a kid with allergies.

I was about to say you had every right to be furious but then I read that you hadn't told her about your child's allergy.

In which case I think you were both in the wrong but you were more in the wrong. You shouldn't have left anyone in charge of your kid who didn't know all your child's allergies.

She shouldn't really have had a dog in the house either, but it is her home and if your child's allergies are that serious then she should have known as dog hair could trigger it and she could easily have a dog round when your child was not there and your child still have a reaction.

QuillBill · 01/07/2024 22:22

Surely a childminder shouldn't have a dog on the premises that the parents don't know about even if no children are allergic to dogs.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 01/07/2024 22:23

I think you would be safer in a formal nursery, where there is no chance of a dog entering the premises.
i agree with this. A cm isnt the same as a nursery. They will have visitors. They will go out. A nursery is your safest bet. If she knew your child could not be around dogs or in rooms fogs have previously been, she probably wouldnt have taken your dd on as dog sitting is also a way for her to earn money.