Childcare for my 30th birthday

[Lolapicklepup]

I need any advice or inspiration on childcare for my 30th.

I have DS just 3yo and DD 1yo. Both sets of grandparents are incredible and will babysit for a couple for days/nights when required. My In laws are free at a drop of a hat, wonderful grandparents and my children love being with them as retired. They are older (70s) and not the type to attend a party but love home comforts. My parents (50s) LOVE a celebration and any excuse to party. I’m exceptionally close with them and my siblings. My parents will take the children away for weekends/ holidays but hate to miss an occasion to dress up and party.

I booked a 30th party for myself for next year a while ago. The venue won’t allow under 18s so children can’t attend (also wouldn’t cope due to young age). Stupidly banked on IL’s having them but they’ve booked a once in a life time abroad trip that means they get home 2 days after the party. Firstly, delighted they’ve had the balls to do it! After years of encouragement I’m so glad they’re spending retirement for them! Selfishly, they were childcare for my 30th weekend. My parents are in their 50s, partiers and I’d love them to be there. We don’t have any other childcare options.

do I
a) cancel the party? My kids are the most important thing to me and accept this is I’ve with young children

b) hire a babysitter. They seem VERY young to have a babysitter as 3 and 1yo.

c) uninvite parents as despite their love for a party, the children know them and they should come first.

d) would never ask ILs to cancel a trip as we’re so proud they’re doing something for them and would rather cancel the party.

e) any other ideas?

(Cannot do any other weekend due to work and going on holiday the Monday after the party for 2 weeks with the kids as part of my birthday celebration) 😊

b. Do they go to nursery? Ask if any staff are available for babysitting. Trained sitters who the children will know

Cancel the party (do you really need a party AND a holiday?!) or move it to a venue like a hotel where you can take your children.

This

Uninvite your parents? 🙄
Howfucking selfish

Just get a babysitter, you've got plenty of time to find one you're happy with.

This such unnecessary drama it's unbelievable.

Move the party to another weekend - I know you said no other weekend possible but there must be a weekend that works at some point, even if it’s 6 months away.

I’d rather have a postponed party the way I wanted it than a party near my actual birthday with a big compromise.

Hire a babysitter, through contacts - do you know anyone whose children go to a great childminder? Or try out other babysitters on recommendation - have a few sessions as practice.

Babysitter …why not?

Uninvite parents, wtf.

I'd get a babysitter if possible.
Id like it to be someone I know though.

You have enough time to start getting to know a new babysitter.

Hire a babysitter and have her come a couple of times before the party.
For once relax the rules around screen time and sweets/snacks and let them have a blast with a babysitter.

I'd get a babysitter or move the party to a venue where children were allowed.

Babysitter.

My god, I babysat infants and toddlers when I was 14, in the pre cell phone days when we'd have no idea where the parents were.

Surely 50 years later with unimaginable connectivity you can find someone you trust to watch them??

I'd get a babysitter. Have invites gone out? In which case you can't change the date. Tbh I'd stick with date as getting a babysitter is no big deal. Can you get someone from nursery?

Definitely don't uninvite your parents.

Babysitter. As pp have said ask at nursery if they go to one- otherwise agency. We used agency a few times, many are nursery nurses, you can read profiles and reviews and choose one you like the look of. Book them a couple of times beforehand so they build a bit of a relationship which the kids and you feel more comfortable with them by the time it comes to your party.

First, how do your ILs
feel about bowing excluded from your party? Even if they aren’t big partiers, it is a bit odd to just consider them the help.

second, if they really are ok babysitting for the party, you should obviously work with them for the day before booking a venue. You can absolutely move the party. It doesn’t actually have to be anywhere close to your birthday.

B ,childcare.co.uk

Change the venue?

Use a babysitter. If you the kids to sleep before they arrive, the kids won't know anything different.

The only options were a) babysitter b) change the date or c) cancel btw. Making your parents or in-laws change their plans shouldn't come into it!

*put the kids to sleep

Where is your children's dad in this? Only asking as this isn't just a "you" issues why not see what he thinks?

Personally I'd go babysitter start with a few short evenings and get someone you know and trust.

Move the party to a different venue or move the date of the party, it doesn't actually have to happen near your birthday.

Although I find it completely bizarre that you seemingly booked everything without discussing if the in laws would be free. Also that you just assume that they wouldn't want to come to the party and celebrate your birthday. You sort of make them sound like the help rather than family in your post.

Yeah this!

Don’t make your parents cancel, that’s a bit unfair. Like pp suggested, i’d look at using a babysitter from nursery as they’ll know them.

I think @Ponderingwindow raises an important issue for you to consider. Even though your ILs are great and especially as they would normally babysit at a moments notice it's possible that they might be hurt at not being invited to your party and feeling a bit taken for granted. If they never usually go away anywhere and have particularly chosen your birthday weekend as part of this extremely rare holiday they could be feeling disappointed that you haven't invited them to what is an important occasion and had taken for granted that they would just be the childcare while your parents get to go. I am in my 70s. I'm great, totally reliable childcare. I like home comforts and can definitely take or leave most parties but I would be very surprised and definitely hurt to be left out of my dil's 30th for childcare while her own parents attended. Different if you were just hanging out with friends ...but no invitation would shout out to me that despite the babysitting at the drop of a hat I wasn't that important to you. If they are fit and healthy enough to look after two small children they are certainly fit enough for a party, even if they don't go out much. I know I would have been invited and really strongly encouraged to attend even though I don't party much, just as you say you have encouraged them to go on holiday. I would rearrange with other babysitting options or get a child friendly option and invite them to come.