"Boy mums" I need your ear!

[Mamabear04]

DS is just about to turn 2 years old and OMG he is an actual bulldozer! All he wants to do is jump off things (the sofa, the bed, the stairs) without thinking and wrestle with his 4 year old sister. I feel like I am loosing control and he is constantly bumping himself. Am I missing something? I try to get him outside whenever I can to burn off energy but it always just ends in him trying to keep going at 100mph but he just gets tired and so more accidents. He just won't sit still anymore, it's like he's feral overnight!!! Is this what all these memes about boy mums are about?

Hes normal for the sounds of it.
My boys are 21 and 19 years old and still the same i dont think they ever grow out of it. lol

I also did not allow wrestling, I have 3 boys. There is no developmental need for them to wrestle. Physical activity is of course vital for development, wrestling not. So like you I encouraged activities that used lots of energy, but discouraged them getting physical with each other or thheir friends.

I think the fact my mum was one of 7, 6 boys who were rose to wear each other out meant we were raised similarly and then I just did the same mind you I only had two. When things got too lively my mother wasn't beyond throwing a mug of water in our direction 🤣 .

What I find interesting is mine never got into a physical interaction in school etc. that was always a bit of a worry I had.

Agree with previous posters, I was given advice to imagine dc was like a dog (as bad as that sounds!) they need to be let out to run and jump and climb, and then be fed (and repeat!)

my youngest dc is nearly two, i do try and get ds outside as much as possible everyday, doesn’t have to be fancy but just even kicking a ball around in a field and running around, or putting wellies and waterproofs on and going puddle jumping in the woods.

For when it rains or when you have already been out for hours and he’s still mad for more physical action:

Buy an enormous hard wearing outdoor style beanbag.
Sit on the floor holding the bag.
Get him to charge at you repeatedly, and you repel him.
Then throw the bag at him and get him to punch/kick it away.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.

(it’s actually really fun for all involved, and satisfies the apparently primal urge to run headlong into a thing!)

I think you need to know your own DCs to be happy to let them find their limits. My DS1 just turned 18 😱and has ADHD. There were no conscious limits for him, ever. (And of course we didn’t know why until much later).

If I’d let him find out for himself shit would really have got real - for himself or his siblings or other kids. I’m not being precious because my two other DSs are nothing like that and were ‘just’ energetic.

What I found to be true was the more unambiguously child-friendly the place we were at the more he thought that meant he was safe to throw himself off stuff with impulsive abandon: so playgrounds resulted in wildly risky behaviour.

Trips to more ambiguous places - mainly the woods, a nature reserve, parkland, grassy hill to roll down, rocky beach - were more psychologically engaging, took more thought to play in, and held the attention for much longer before risky behaviour crept in.

Ten minutes max in a playground before hurling himself off the highest climbing frame versus hours running and climbing and bouncing on branches before he pushed the boundaries sky high.

I’ve got two boys, well young men now, and one of them had to be worn out daily. Even now, in his early 20s, he gets snappy and a bit radge if he’s been cooped up for too long. It’s not uncommon for him to take himself for a run in the evening if it’s been raining all day.

Swimming was always the most tiring thing.
The park or soft play was next tier down.
He had a little trike with a pole on the back that we used to go to the park on, so the ride there and back he was semi-contained but moving.
He also had a trampoline with a bar he’d bounce on in the garden.

Wellies and a rain suit were the best thing I bought!

Just read the post above. That’s brilliant advice actually! I’d forgotten the fun of a snowy day or a trip to the sand dunes.

Mine has ADHD too, but lots of boys are just boisterous 🩷

There used to be a poster called something along the lines of BoysAreLikeDogs and it couldn't have been more accurate for my DS
All he needed was food, exercise and a ball and he was happy.

I have older brothers and my dad would wrestle with them at the weekend as he recognised boys need a bit of rough and tumble. He was able to do it safely and teach them boundaries with him and each other. Heaven forbid either of them ever touched me though - that was a hard and fast rule from day 1 and they never did. I was horrified at how my friends brothers would treat them sometimes.

Anyway. I'm now a boy mum and yes, mine needs tons of exercise! He doesn't stop, running, climbing, anything really (he's a big 3 year old). I soon learnt that nice little music classes or arts and crafts classes etc were not for him - he needs to be on the go!

Our son was a very calm toddler (he still is as a nine year old), our 2.5 year old daughter however is a feral monster 🤣 remember no matter what they’re like when they’re little, by the time they’re 5/6 they start behaving slightly more like actual human beings.

Normal.

I Have two words for you:

The Park

DD is like this, it’s been commented on quite a bit. We signed her up to loads of activities once they would take her. Some kids are just more energetic than others. Get him into some clubs asap. Swimming is good, trampolining etc. word of warning it only slows them down a bit. Dd is still at 100 miles an hour but sleeps very well now. Also the jumping, just ensure they have something spongey to land on, thats what we had to do, my sofa is utterly fucked though. On weekends, walk, plan things around lots of walking, even if it’s the supermarket, park as far away as possible, if it’s the shopping centre make sure you have to go backwards and forwards, but outside is best. We spend a lot of time in softplay.

If it makes you feel any better DD likes to yell ”cannonball!!!” then run into us with full force. So it could be worse, also big for her age so you have to brace for impact.

Sounds like my 3 crazy boys all under 5 haha 😂 I could have written that . We have to lock our windows 😂

I have 3 boys under 5, it's a mad house. They need to get out twice a day and doing something physical both times! They still have tons of energy even after this but it removes the chances of them engaging in risky play.

My DS was like this (and still is at 13), we also tried to ’run off’ the energy…. Sadly it just made him fitter!

How did he turn out now he is a teenager? Just curious because I have a very energetic toddler too!

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Run him around until he is dropping. Then once he's eaten, back out again to run it off again.

My son was a chill baby. But as soon as he could walk it was full speed or asleep. Always an early riser (if he lasted til 6am it was a good day). And the noise! Man he likes the sound of his own voice!
He's 20 now and lives away and texts me most mornings at 7am to say he's on the bus to get to the gym before work. He has a full time job and also works part time at a gym doing classes and taking care of equipment. If he hasn't got at least 15,000 steps in he will then go for a walk. He also does kickboxing. He's thinking of taking up football.
My DD on the other hand is very low energy and will sleep for 12 hours a night if she can!

It with climbing was linked to the mathematical engineering skills in the brain

That's interesting. Mine should be Head of NASA by now then.