"Boy mums" I need your ear!

[Mamabear04]

DS is just about to turn 2 years old and OMG he is an actual bulldozer! All he wants to do is jump off things (the sofa, the bed, the stairs) without thinking and wrestle with his 4 year old sister. I feel like I am loosing control and he is constantly bumping himself. Am I missing something? I try to get him outside whenever I can to burn off energy but it always just ends in him trying to keep going at 100mph but he just gets tired and so more accidents. He just won't sit still anymore, it's like he's feral overnight!!! Is this what all these memes about boy mums are about?

As much time outside as possible. As much climbing equipment as you can fit. If he bumps, he bumps 🤷‍♀️

I can see the logic in that

I think if I knew how to catch it the exact second it moved from useful to getting too rough I might have been inclined to let it go, but I had 4 little dc of very different sizes and strengths/fragility and had to be able to trust them to not descend into mayhem if I took my eye off them for 5 mins to change a nappy/answer the door/put the baby down for a nap etc.

I did enroll them in martial arts and gymnastics classes at age 3/4 ish hopefully that was enough to compensate. The martial arts teacher was amazing she would bench any dc immediately they took their eyes off her for a second. So they were 100% focused the whole lesson and it was a joy to watch them running through their kicks and punches. I

That is not enough time outdoors. Get him a balance bike when he turns two (or a scooter, whichever he prefers) and takes him on three hour walks to parks and playgrounds etc. And then the same again after lunch if necessary. You need to wear them out, which will be tiring for you too unfortunately.

The big thing for me was letting go of the idea that we might have a peaceful day at home building cushion forts or playing with a treasure box or any of the things Mumsnet mums swear by. None of those things work if you have a high energy child who needs to be in motion. You need to be out and you need to cover a lot of ground and come home tired. Otherwise your head will be melted by 9:30 am.

Thank god I found a nursery which had great strategies for burning energy. They had the kids rolling tyres up hills and turning a roundabout to generate electricity...he came home tired and happy.

sorry posted too soon.

They are growing up into engineers and computer scientists, so maybe it did help!

I'm with @Marblessolveeverything on not being too overcautious. They need to find their limits and generally will do so safely if they're not being told 'don't go too high, you'll fall', 'don't run too fast, you'll trip over', all the time.

Mine walked a lot when they were little rather than being in a buggy, as well as playing.

As someone on here says treat them like a Labrador plenty of fresh air and exercise. Let them run it off 😂

I've no personal experience as my son was a lazy toddler and now as a teen positively slothful but that's what my friends did.

My DS is 4 now and I've never found a way to burn off energy. He can go on a walk for hours, soft play etc nothing takes the edge off.

Yup. Sounds familiar.

I'm an old softie but I clamped down hard on wrestling/play fighting and had zero tolerance on any kind of hitting. It's possible to be very energetic and still to be kind - especially in the car! On the energy side we invested in all weather waterproofs, bikes, swam almost daily, a trampoline (best investment ever), soft play season tickets and then we lived outside whenever possible. Den building is good. Blackberrying. Going Feather collecting. I gave up on indoor classes and playgroups. They just weren't active enough for him and so he would get into scrapes. As he got older we found circus skills classes oh and weirdly, chess, which seemed to appeal for some strange reason.
The good news is that if you survive that long IME the teens were a diddle compared to friends who had girls . . .

Take him to the park getting him running and walking to burn off the or t up energy, don’t bother with toddler groups they are a breading ground for feral kids.

@Mamabear04 Exercise is crucial.
A G.P I knew kept a pair of toddler wellies in the surgery and prescribed “ Exercise “ for toddlers.

My own son walked miles as a toddler- I took his buggy along for if he got tired- But if he wasn’t exercised hard- almost like a horse or dog- he’d be so tricky indoors.

Some children need masses of physical exercise.

This. Nothing to do with being a boy. I spent every day in the freezing cold, on a beach, in a forest, in a park. Reins meant her tendency to run headlong into traffic or the sea was managed.

Yep, sounds familiar. DS (5) currently has a badly broken finger from jumping down the stairs (don't ask). We've had to go and see a pediatric orthapedic surgeon and 98% of the kids in the waiting room were boys.

It's not just you.

Love this and so very very true 🧡

Reins really are good as you can pre empt a fall into mud if the reins are short enough.

Both my boys were exactly like this - they're a fair bit older now (still under 10) and still get like this if they don't have a run off the lead at least once a day. They're always a bit less manic when outside - get him running around in the open as much as possible. On wet days I used to turn the living room into a soft play area so they could thrash around there when they needed to.

I think wrestling has its place as long as both parties are consenting, but as pp said it can easily tip over into straight fighting which I've never allowed.

As he gets older you'll find more energetic things you can do together as a family - I love having high energy kids who are always full of bounce and enthusiasm, and don't need to be dragged away from the telly (I'm aware all this will probably change as they get older!). My best advice is to embrace the madness and find as many positive outlets as you can.

Harder exercise?
Cycling and horse riding - These really are hard work for most children- especially in hilly areas where riding uphill is hard.

Just feed more as they burn off calories with lots of exercise.

Thanks everyone, I'll invest in a lead 🤣 I think maybe we just turned a corner into a different kind of toddler hood. I think because DS has always been so big, he was a very chill baby so maybe now he just needs more exercise (it seems all of a sudden in the psst week!). I do have reigns for him but he is actually very good at holding hands when we go for a walk, the problem is jumping off things with no thought whatsoever. I like the idea of being more relaxed about this but I'm also terrified of broken bones or a trip to a&e. Whenever DC run around the house, DS always ends up crashing headfirst into a door frame and has had some right corkers so I'm probably overly alert to the rough and tumble...

DD has had concussion three times. She's learned now. A&E is boring.

Not just parks, but playgrounds. We had a few to rotate between, sometimes more than one a day, some being driven to (and hopefully a nap on way home). Plus a session of toddler tumble/gym type class. Plus trampoline with handle. Plus climbing cube in garden and inside. Walks to feed ducks. Constant physical activity most days from quite early in the morning. I was staggered to meet mums of girls whose DC would still quietly with crayons etc, totally incomprehensible to me. Maybe it's hard for you to get used to after having an older daughter.

You must get outside even in the rain too. You need an all-in-one rain suit and supply of tissues etc to dry off playground equipment. And a good set of wellies for puddle splashing. No good comes of keeping these types of kids inside on rainy days... It's absolutely normal for a certain type of energetic/sporty kid. Get their name down early for the activities that typically start at age 4, e.g. swimming lessons.

My two year old boy is like this!! It's exhausting! My oldest boy was nothing like this. So, it's not a "boy mum" thing, it's a personality thing. No advice, apart from sacrificing your sofa in the name of soft play haha. We get all the cushions on the floor and he just runs, jumps and climbs for hours.

The nhs recommends toddlers get a minimum of 3 hrs a day ‘excercise’. So this is perfectly normal and they should be active

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/physical-activity-guidelines-children-under-five-years/#:~:text=Toddlers%20should%20be%20physically%20active,the%20day%2C%20including%20playing%20outdoors.

Mine spent 4 hours at nursery this morning, outside mostly. Then we have just come back from scooter walk to shops and back (around 45mins) and he’s in sandpit now playing. No sign of being tired despite being awake since 5.50am..

Up to a point if broken bones happen, they happen tbh. Through normal routine play, some broken bones will occur some of the time. I've heard of situations where a pre-school age child broke their leg just tripping over their own feet, and one where another child at nursery accidentally stepped on their leg while climbing over a seated child and they had a break. That doesn't mean you should stop children from walking or that you can totally prevent one child crashing into or onto another child in a group setting.

You can try to have basic safety rules so a 2yo isn't launching themselves head-first down a steep slide, but an element of teaching them how to climb and jump safely and take small risks is part of a healthy way to engage with the outside world and their physical capabilities. At least small children heal very quickly! (wish I had that Wolverine-like power)

There's a suggestion that boys have a puberty sort of thing between 3-5 years. So think little teenager?

Maggie Dent has some great research on bringing up boys and what works

I don't think that's true, to be honest. All children are different, whatever the sex. Some more active and bouncy than others.