How am I going to cope with a breastfed newborn and a 2 year old when my husband goes back to work?!

[Boymama12]

My 2 year old already requires a lot of attention and is a little jealous of our newborn and having big tantrums, then my newborn is feeding very very regularly. I'm super worried about how I'm going to cope entertaining my son and caring for my newborn when my husband returns to work on Monday.

Any tips welcome!

I used to read a story to my 2 year old while breastfeeding. She could snuggle next to me while baby fed.

I also had a selection of favourite TV programmes recorded. If I put one of those on she'd sit and watch while I fed baby.

A sling was absolutely essential.
Reins for the 2 year old when outside walking were absolutely essential. I got cute ones with a cuddly monkey back pack on so she liked taking monkey for a walk.

There was more TV watching than was ideal. The house was messier than ideal. There was more convenience food eaten than ideal. We managed OK though.

I also found getting out of the house every morning for a walk, playground, playgroup, rhyme time etc followed by a more chilled afternoon, gave structure to our day.

I had DD1 in nursery 3 times a week which was a life saver. But for the other days, I used to sit with her and feed the baby while we read or watched TV. When DD2 got bigger she started needing quiet and no distractions to BF and that was actually harder. I had to leave DD1 watching TV while I left the room to feed. She was okay with this and would come and find us if needed.
I did a lot of telling the baby to wait for mummy while the toddler needed me - especially while potty training! - and that probably helped it to feel more equal. We also did big girl activities when DD2 was napping so she had that special attention from me. Also, getting out as much as possible, even if just for a walk down to the shops to buy some baking ingredients to make a cake.

It’s tough, having two close in age. I think what really helped more than any of the day to day stuff, was having little breaks booked in like a long weekend here and a low key summer holiday somewhere. Looking forward to things helped a lot, and made the baby year pass faster, whilst also being enjoyable and having really nice family memories to look back on, not just the day to day grind where I was gritting my teeth to get through it a lot of the time. DC are 4 and 2 now and are best friends, playing together nicely and needing so much less than they did. It gets better!

I was still BFing my 2yo when baby arrived. Tandem fed for a couple of months (was SO done for the eldest) - it helped the transition and lowered the jealousy.

Eventually I let 2yo watch 2 episodes of something on TV while I fed baby.

Get a sling/carrier for baby and use it a lot.

Be vocal about everything for the toddler benefit "baby, I am going to put you down now because I am going to help toddler." "Baby you need to wait, it's toddlers turn for mummy cuddles." And to the toddler - avoid asking them to wait because you're doing something for the baby to disassociate waiting and baby! E g. I'd say "toddler, I can't help you on the slide right now I'm finishing my cup of tea" when actually I was BF the baby with a cold half empty brew beside me.

Get a slow cooker.

Buy in snacks for toddler. Bribe them as needed. Reduce the bribes as needed over time as baby becomes less of a newborn!

Congratulations 😍

My second baby lived in my ergo omni 360 carrier.

Sticker book! My 2 year old would do peppa pig sticker books while sitting next to me feeding. Bit of TV. Puzzles

Yes to always having the baby bag packed!

We used to get up early, breakfast/bf etc, toddler and me washed and dressed. We would walk to a playgroup, usually a mile or so, and the 2 yo would walk all the way - baby in buggy. We would play various imaginary games. Playgroup enabled me to focus on the toddler whilst the baby was passed onto anyone broody, unless feeding or sleeping.

I would usually take a picnic lunch of sorts for the toddler, if it was dry we'd often go to the park for a short time. Walk home with toddler in buggy and baby in sling. Toddler would fall asleep and buggy could be parked up when we got home.

Other tips - lower your expectations, expect some regression from toddler, don't worry about tv or mess. By the time baby was 4 months, I could sling her on the back which made life easier.

I never got the hang of making the 'witching hour' less awful. 😂 so really it was case of getting though it - the Mumsnet mantra - this too shall pass!

It really is amazing watch their love and relationship grow, priceless really. Enjoy your new cuddles!