GOOD NEWS stories about your child who was struggling in any way

[minniefraser]

I'm going through a tough time with one of my primary school aged kids. We are doing EVERYTHING and on every list, trust me on this.

But it's hard and I've read lots of worrying stories. I would love to hear any of your GOOD NEWS stories about your child who was struggling in any way (really, any way! socially, academically, whatever, I don't care if it applies to our specific situation) and how they are doing great/much improved/found their place/are now happy. Doesn't have to be a specific SEN issue (but can be obvs.), just struggles.

And if you have an idea of what made the difference (change of school, new therapist, got older, sport, whatever), I'd love to hear it.

Good news in any way will really help keep me going. Thank you!

, I don't care if it applies to our specific situation

What is your specific situation?

for my son it was moving from 33 in a class in a state school

to 16 in a private school and much more sport during the day

To be honest, I'd prefer not to describe it more because I don't really care if the answers apply to us. I just want good news stories. If this bothers people, I completely understand and this probably isn't the thread for you!

Yep, reception aged child was struggling with phonics and reading, now in year 1 and completely caught up/exceeding

DD1 had such an awful time in Y7 that I ended up homeschooling her for a few terms. Then she asked to go back to school so she went back to secondary at a completely different school. On Sunday she gave me heartfelt thanks for sending her to that school because now she has the best friends ever. And now all her grumbles about school are normal ones and she is happy.

My ds struggled a bit at school and is now doing really well in his fourth year of uni doing a professional training.

He isn't an academic star so it's all been grit and not giving up against some tough times and challenges. I am massively proud of him.

You never know at what point in life your child will struggle the most. We just have to step up when they do.

And awe and respect to the parents who are doing this on a minute by minute basis. Parenting can be incredibly hard and we don't ever know what we will be faced with. It's like signing up.

All the best to you

This brought tears to my eyes, thank you! All this is exactly what I was hoping for from this thread.

I love threads like this, and have many happy ending stories, from decades of teaching.

severely autistic girl who couldn't cope in main stream or SEN school, now a successful professional craftswoman, with her own business, that requires financial oversight by her parents, but she runs more or less single handed.

Boy in trouble every single day who I seriously thought would end up in psychiatric hospital or prison, now very high up in local police force, and very friendly and grateful to me when he sees me

Non English speaker in y 10, first at Cambridge!

totally miserable, unhappy, academic "failures", zero GCSEs, finding their niche in life and going on to successful careers - some I could mention - master carpenter, zoo keeper, sought after chef!

Violent, dangerous boy, often had to call the police to contain him, (severe SEN) joined his parents in their business, now successful in his field at national level - I wont say which field as too outing.

I would say, in the end, those with a troubled history in education succeed in the end more often than not, but the deciding factor I would say is quite often parental input.

I also teach in a prison, and the poor souls that end up here are often the ones without parental love and care and input. it shouldn't be like this, but it is. Schools can't make up for emotional and physical neglect.

My DS spent the first two years of primary school trying to hide under the desk or in the bathroom. He hated it despite the school being really good with him. I moved him to an asd specific class and in two years he had gone from a child who couldn't recognise any phonics to one who has the most amazing beautiful handwriting and is slowly but surely reading and who has almost caught up with his age group for maths.

That's a gorgeous story. It's made my day.

DD had a really tough lockdown... Massive anxiety, severe panic attacks, school refusing. At her worst she couldn't leave the house, and couldn't have anyone else to visit. She was declared a vulnerable child by her school which led to some really swift and effective intervention (we were very lucky timing-wise!) Three years on she has a great group of friends at secondary, has a part-time job where she interacts with strangers, and recently played a set at a local music festival. I couldn't be prouder.

It's really tough when they are struggling, but hang in there xx

My goddaughter went from academically very able but struggling with friendships to having a close and happy group of friends within two years. I was really worried about her, she was quiet and generally unhappy, but now has really blossomed. It was as if she suddenly figured out healthy friendships (or her friends figured out her) and it has been delightful to watch.

Thank you so much for this! It's great to hear from people who see this over a wide range of students, rather than just one experience. And so good to know that parental help is a factor as I know I can do that!

My DD had a rough time in the second half of primary, Covid hit, she was behind, she's a 26 weeker preemie so has always been behind but got loads worse.

Was told before SATS she was working at a year 3/4 level. Struggled with friends and fitting in. Generally unhappy, became really anxious.

We did loads of work and she muddled through, only missing the magic 100 by a few marks.

She's now coming to the end of her first year at high school and SMASHING IT. Exactly where she should be in attainment, effort and behaviour. She had a lovely group of friends, is happy and ace. I'm so so bloody proud of her.

I had a rough time through school. Very bright, very academic but struggled a lot with depression and anxiety and developed an eating disorder and a drink problem as a result.
I'm mid 30s now and unrecognisable from my 18yo me. I could only manage 20 minutes if each lesson during my a levels, was often drunk at school and had multiple panic attacks a day. I have a PhD, a daughter, a husband and a professional job. I still have a mental illness, I was diagnosed as bipolar in my 20s but it doesn't consume my life any more. I have to be careful with drink when I'm in an episode and don't drink a lot but can have the odd beer or glass of wine without issues.
I saw my teachers at a funeral in my mid 20s and they were thrilled with how my life had turned out especially as there was a time when they knew that my life was precarious either by suicide or neglect/misadventure

My DD had a tough time with her mental health as a teenaeger was suicidal at one point but with medication and therapy she has achieved a first class degree and master's is employed and got married last year

So, my DS is a star, I love him and his sis immensely.

However, he was born very early and has disabilities (hidden) and is autistic.

For years he was the kid who gets forgotten about by teachers. Had very few mates. When we did see or speak to teachers we almost had to remind them which one was him.

Predicted grades for GCSE outcomes from year 7 onwards were middle of the road, no more than 5 in anything.

Then lockdown happened. And online learning replaced classrooms.

For many kids, DD in fact, this was hard to transition to. For DS, well he's had years of being at home due to ill health. So he adapted pretty smoothly.

He thrived. When he was at his computer (his fave thing in the world) he was happy to show up online and answer questions. I was told by so many teachers how bright he was and they hadn't realised before (yes that annoyed me. I've always known he was smart).

Then, the confidence grew. So when he went back he decided he had enough of being in the mid groups for lessons, especially computing. He wrote the head an email asking to be put in a better attainment group. She forwarded it to teachers.

He was told to pop to one of the computer classrooms at lunch to do a test for computer science. He did the test....and some A'level work that happened to be sitting on the same file which he thought was part of the test.

It wasn't.

He was a second year. So A'level work is meant to be hard.

It wasn't.

So he went up 3 groups! And as even that was seen as not challenging he was given his own curriculum. He spent a day with Microsoft. He won two awards at the end of the next year.

He is now doing his GCSEs and we moved school for his last year at his request, we moved area but had said he could stay as it wasn't especially far. He didn't want to due to bullying and said all they saw was his SEN.

His new school doesn't see him as SEN. They see him as bright, mature, eloquent and resilient. He is predicted results of 7-9. The English literature curriculum had one different text- he learned it in a weekend. The English teacher had actually said to him not to worry and if he didn't do as well in lit and in language it didn't matter. At his mocks he got a 9 in literature, with most of it being set on that specific book, his teacher was shocked!

He is staying for A'level and has been allowed to pick 4. Old school suggested "trying" 2!

He has always been told by us that his disabilities don't mean anything and that with effort he can achieve whatever he wants. He has never used it as an excuse. In fact it drives him to prove to others he is just as good as neurotypical peers.

2 for you.
My friends son is autistic, was non verbal at 4 and was told moderate learning difficulties.

he is now in last year at sixth form college doing a techy course. He has 7 GCSEs or equivalent and has foudn his niche. He is a lovely young man.
he took him out of mainstream mid primary and homeschooled until 14 when he slowly started to integrate into college.

My dd is 16, she is very bright but finds frienships really hard. that was an issue all through primary, but pretty much not dealt with because she scored OK academically. Then year 7 Covid hit. Her mental health spiralle,d suicide attempts and self harm, bullying at school, no friends.
She cut us off and wouldn't engage with us, it was a really difficult 2 years.

In December she was diagnosed with autism (no surprise) and she has just sat her GCSEs. Not perfect, she did 7 not the 9 she was entered for, but she did it, and has done it without breaking down half way through. She is a lovely girl now, and has a couple of friends (not many, but they are real friends) and is looking to the future.

Every time I return to this thread, I tear up! (And I'm at work so I really shouldn't.) Thank you all so much; it means so much to me.

Both of mine.

DD1 severely dyspraxic which means that she thinks differently as well as being uncoordinated and found things difficult at school where there was a one size fits all explanation for everything. Also badly bullied at primary and then put under almost unbearable pressure to drop her only love (music) by her teachers at secondary. Got a place at a specialist music school for sixth form who really "got" her. Now on a full scholarship at a leading conservatoire and just got a first in her end of year recital.

DD2 developed a spinal fracture in lockdown which caused huge pain and made sixth form difficult and she ended up getting a D instead of the predicted A in one of her A levels as she spent most of one paper lying on the floor in agony. Took a gap year to get her spine operated on and did an EPQ whilst convalescing - got an A in that and help to talk to admissions tutors which lead to several unconditional offers to Russell Group unis and has just finished her first year and is loving it. Also on a national pathway for her sport. In her case I cannot thank her wonderful spinal surgeon enough!

My eldest isn't remotely academic, appeared to tick a lot of the boxes for being neurodiverse and dyslexic...but in the female specific way so has been dismissed by teaching staff as just attention seeking all the way through primary and secondary. Getting agreement for her to be assessed was impossible, doctors wouldn't do a referral without school support.

Barely achieved the minimum GCSEs required for entry onto her desired college course, but has absolutely thrived since moving from school to college. The college listen to what she needs and offers support accordingly. She's won national prizes in her field after being selected by the college to represent them (out of a potential 60 strong cohort) and is on track to achieve her qualifications. College have also agreed that she's almost certainly neurodiverse and have supported a referral for assessment.

There are still challenges, but they are challenges in an environment that's allowing her to thrive.

I'm really hoping this will be my daughter, she is in reception now. She is really struggling with reading, writing and phonics - I got her eyes tested and she is now wearing glasses full time. I'm so hoping that this has a really positive effect and she'll start to improve. (she has a twin sister who just excels at EVERYTHING academically so I'm really rooting for her 💓)

My 15 year old made some very damaging and dangerous decisions and seriously looked like she was going to leave school with no qualifications. She even told me when she was 16 she could leave this “shithole” (our quite nice house), sign on and get a council house. Not putting up with this we moved her school asap, got her help and now 3 years later she’ll be going to uni in September. I’m not saying it was easy and now she has diagnoses (ASC and ADHD), medication and therapy but we are definitely not where we thought we might be 3 years ago. And she is happier and more confident.

My child didn't speak until he was four. Yesterday, aged 9, he asked me what the word 'anti-disestablishmentarian' meant 🤣

My DD, early years were so difficult, major meltdowns everywhere,didn't sleep, life was a real struggle for her and us. Her siblings were scared of her, was a nightmare.
Settled a bit following an ASD diagnosis age 10 and some support transitioning to high school, where she was academically ok but only with one to one support in class.

Told by (helpful?) Year 10 teacher that she would not be able to go to university but that didn't matter because she would probably still be able to hold down a job.
About that she started drinking loads and cutting herself, her friends gave up on her because she was really hard work.

She graduates next month with first class honours in her chosen field, has a very good job lined up, lovely friends and boyfriend from university and we are so proud of her.