GOOD NEWS stories about your child who was struggling in any way

[minniefraser]

I'm going through a tough time with one of my primary school aged kids. We are doing EVERYTHING and on every list, trust me on this.

But it's hard and I've read lots of worrying stories. I would love to hear any of your GOOD NEWS stories about your child who was struggling in any way (really, any way! socially, academically, whatever, I don't care if it applies to our specific situation) and how they are doing great/much improved/found their place/are now happy. Doesn't have to be a specific SEN issue (but can be obvs.), just struggles.

And if you have an idea of what made the difference (change of school, new therapist, got older, sport, whatever), I'd love to hear it.

Good news in any way will really help keep me going. Thank you!

DD is (almost!) 4 and we went through months of her screaming so much about going to nursery she would vomit on me on the bus, she never spoke there, wouldnt join in and would just wonder off on her own.
And then its like a switch went off and now all of a sudden after years of not talking there, shes up and at the front at circle time singing her heart out, playing with friends, shes skipping and singing on the walk there, runs in the door and blows me kisses.
I thought this would never happen for us, i used to feel so jealous of seeing other kids skipping to nursery and now its MY kid!

DD (12) is Autistic and has had some massive struggles over the years. All through school so far. It's ongoing, however I'll share with you what has worked / helped for her so far:

Changing class when she felt utterly miserable and isolated.

Seeing the school nurse weekly.

SaLT (the lady is worth her weight in gold)

Noise cancelling earphones instead of cheap and chatty ear defenders.

Finding her own style (Goth / Emo)

Ditching the people she thought were her friends (who weren't) and finding the courage to approach new ones who were more like her.

Building a great rapport with her GP

Ditto with our surgery nurse (DD developed a huge issue with blood taking, so we see the nurse each week for a chat and to build a bit of confidence to eventually be able to take blood again)

Me fighting her corner every single day (I get her as I'm Autistic too)

Adaptations and Accommodations / lowering demands and expectations (ongoing)

An app called Finch.

Rescue Remedy Orange and Elderflower pastilles (may be a placebo, but helps to keep the tin by the front door and take one each morning to ease the anxiety. They taste lovely, too and it feels like a positive step in taking charge / finding coping mechanisms)

Notes to keep her right on her phone (reminders etc)

Crafting.

Rest and quiet time at home. Home is her sanctuary.

Dyslexic, Irlens, probably ADHD.

Not academic and only one friend at school.

We did everything we could to support her outside the curriculum.

Pole vaulting.
DJ lessons
Adult photography classes.

Sewing classes.

Scuba diving.

Provided as much time and professional kit as she needed.

Supported her to achieve 5 A-C GCSES and drop as many subjects as possible so no languages and only one science.

She's now 25 a self employed photographer who gets paid to cover events all over the world, she's building her own tiny home, solo travels across Europe.

Imported a specific type of vintage 4 x 4 car.

Taught herself mechanics and is learning French.

Qualified Dive Master.

Has more friends than she can keep up with and a French boyfriend.

She found 17 years in education very hard and I recall cried the first day of term every year including university but she absolutely loves her current life.

Hold on in there.

She sounds amazing.

You must be an amazing Mum, too.

DS1 has a range of SEN. he is 14. He has always struggled with emotional regulation and has frequent meltdowns. He was bullied throughout primary and often had to be coaxed from underneath a school building and encouraged to get back to class. The wschool would call me 3-4 times a week to say he had collapsed in a heap and could not be calmed down so I would have to calm him down on the phone. I gave up my job because his needs were so severe. Bottom sets for everything. His school told us when he was in Year 6 that they did not think he was going to get through the year because he was not coping. He was self harming.

he has ASD and after being suggested to investigate ADHD he was diagnosed with it. He was put on medication which I was initially very reluctant and it was like a light switch.

He can get through and entire school day. He is calmer and happier. It is like the veil that was preventing his real self to shine through was lifted. He is funny, empathetic, enthusiastic, happy. He has a friend. He has the most amazing relationship with our 20 year old cat. He is in the bottom set of maths and for his Year8 exams he got 11% and we were happy about it. He has just had his Year9 exam maths results and he got 82%. He will probably move up a set and he is even better quite excited about maths!

DS had a tough time at school, he was very quiet and in hindsight I suspect he’s on the spectrum but it was never picked up. Bright academically but put huge pressure on himself to be perfect and was very shy. Ended up with a CAMHS referral at 12 due to suicidal thoughts and self harm.

He’s now just finished his second year at university, living away from home in a shared house. Works part time and plays in a band. Watching him on stage, full of confidence, playing in front of a packed pub still makes me tear up. He is a different person now.

What made the most difference to him was learning martial arts which helped him control his feelings and learning how to play an instrument. He’d talk to his instructors when he couldn’t talk to us.

One of my now adult children got below average in all SATS and battled severe anxiety in secondary school- they graduated last year from uni with a first and now excelling in a job they love.
Other child was cruelly bullied by top set girls that were former friends, it was crushing and one of my lowest points as a Mum- stuck it out and stayed for 6th form where everything came good and made lovely and lasting friendships, now a year leader and subject lead at the same school constantly getting feedback from kids with MH and other issues that she cares for above and beyond.

Our daughter has cerebral palsy, its a fairly recent diagnosis but not a surprise. She’s 2.5, so only very little, but shes an absolute madam, she has zero patience and is a typical nightmare toddler.

She can walk, but she isn’t the steadiest and needs to be on flat ground and in soft shoes so she can use her feet to grip etc. She gets so frustrated when she can’t do something, one of those things is not being able to walk on uneven ground, up and down slopes etc. This weekend we went to a national park, which would usually mean a combo of being held, in a carrier, or me holding both hands so she doesn’t fall over while she very very loudly complains. This weekend for the first time so she was able to do some on her own and for the first time ever was able to step over something without needing to put her hands on the floor. So we can now add walking on even ground and stepping over things to the can do list.

Our dd had a terrible time at primary school, she was bullied and excluded when she reacted badly she was the one in trouble. When she thumped someone who had hit her first she was excluded from school. Secondary school started quite badly and she was often disruptive and difficult ow suddenly age 14 she is thriving. She has a great bunch of friends and is happy.

My dn found it very hard to make friends at primary school to the extent they moved her from one school to another in the hope of things improving socially. She's very bright and has a strong character and never fitted in with the pretty or the popular or the sporty.
She made great friends in the end in secondary, met her adorable husband at university and last year she had a wedding of a large number of loving friends.
It would have been hard to predict when she was isolated and lonely as a little girl at school although of course very loved at home.

Thank you so much all for your wonderful stories. I will bookmark this and read and re-read it!