What age did you first leave your baby for the day?

[Madge91]

My little girl is currently 11 weeks, and still ebf (not through lack of trying, we’ve been trying to give her a bottle of expressed since she was 5 weeks but she’s really not keen 🥴). I’d be quite happy to just breastfeed her, but I’ve got a couple of events coming up (wedding and festival ticket) that she can’t come with me to. The festival is in 3 weeks and would involve me being out from about 10 till midnight, with 2-3 hours travelling so wouldn’t be able to just dash home if it wasn’t ok.

feel like my anxiety is starting to really go up, a. for leaving her all day at all and b. for the bottle feeding side of things. What age would you have first left your baby for the day? I feel like she’s at such a lovely age right now, that I’m not sure I even want to miss out on a whole family day with her!

About 7/8 months to work. I am sorry but I think leaving an ebf 11 week old to go to a festival will make you both miserable- can babies not go to festivals ? As for the wedding I would take a babsitter to have the baby in a hotel room at the venue if at all possible......

I didn't leave mine until they were older. You shouldn't feel any obligation to attend the events if you'd rather stay with your baby. Some are fine to do it but if you want to stay with her stay with her! There is too much pressure for mums to do it all. It's easy to make these arrangements before baby is born but once they're here priorities change! 11 weeks is still tiny IMO. She'll grow older and there will be other events you can go to.

Thank you! This is exactly what I’m feeling, but feel like everyone else around me is making me feel like I’m being soft or something 😅 and that I’m crazy for not wanting to ‘have a day off’ unfortunately I couldn’t bring her to it, and it would also involve me getting the underground etc late at night which I’d not be comfortable with. For the wedding, it’s local and not for another couple of months, so going to maybe aim for that as first biggish event

I also don’t drink, so for the wedding i will drive and be able to leave atleast if she isn’t doing ok

A few weeks, they were fine with grandparents

When he went to school. 😀

I had no family support at all so the best I managed before then was three hours to get my hair cut & coloured.

Sell the festivial ticket, I am sure you can get some money for it. It is completely normal to not want to/ be unable to leave a tiny baby.

5 Days 😮. I was EBF too, can't remember what I did, must have expressed?
I had her on the Monday and went to my works Xmas Do on the Friday. Really stupid in hindsight but I was naive and wanted to prove that I could do it all. I was exhausted and left after 2hrs.

Over one.

It’s fine to leave them if you want, but don’t push it if it makes you unhappy. Tiny breastfed babies are biologically supposed to be close to their mums!

Honestly I wouldn't go to the festival, you won't enjoy it the same.

Thanks everyone, my sister very kindly got me the ticket for Christmas for the festival, thinking I’d be keen as a bean for a day off from the baby, so think I’ll see if she can take someone else. Think it’s the distance thing that’s bothering me the most, the thought of a 3 hour journey to get back if something happens is making me feel sick

I wouldn't have been able to leave mine so young, even if they'd been bottle fed. I don't think you can while exclusively breastfeeding a baby who won't take a bottle. That's cruel and she'll be so distressed!

Why can't you take her to the festival? And for the wedding, someone will need to stay with her nearby so you can go see her for a feed every few hours. If she's over 6 months at that point and on solids it'll be easier.

Mine youngest is 1 in 2 weeks and still won't take a bottle. I've never left her for longer than 5 hours and the first time was when she was 8.5 months and eating a good amount of solids. At 4 months we went to a weekend hen do and she came with me.

You’re biologically programmed to feel that way, so don’t feel bad about it. Ebf puts a lot of physically-hard-to-be-apart bond between mum and baby, at least until solids start interrupting the fun. (Of course you can be apart from younger babies, but you’re not the first to plan to do so and then find out you don’t want to.) I left mine for the day with their dad when I first went to work at around six months, and at nursery around 11 months.

@Hateliars34 unfortunately it’s not the type of festival that I’d want to take a baby to, plus the travel isn’t just in a car, would be trains and underground’s. Plus I think my sister would be annoyed at having a baby tagging along (which is a whole different subject 😂). Think for the wedding, depending on how she’s finding bottle/food by then, I’ll maybe just got for the day or evening part and see how i go!

Not until much older. Days of that length weren't until he turned two. First night away from him at two and a half.

I had two gig tickets that had been bought before I fell pregnant. I happily gave them to my husband's friend so they could go enjoy together. It was the last thing I wanted to do when my baby was so young and breastfeeding.

But everyone has different experiences and if you can get her on a bottle you might feel happier to go. If it's causing you anxiety maybe just chalk it up to one of those things. There will be more festivals.

Holy shit! 😮

Were you not still bleeding and everything?

I was FF but first overnight with GP was at 3 weeks as I had to go several hours to a funeral.

I didn't leave her all day until the was about 20 months

She was EBF

Tbh I'd just cancel going unless you can get her to take a bottle or a cup

Thanks everyone, it’s amazing how people around you can make you feel bad/weird for feeling a certain way, so I’m glad I’ve done this and confirmed I’m not odd for not wanting to leave her!

Yeah it's so weird that they do this. I think older people forget and people who haven't had kids just don't get it

Goodness I'm sorry to be a downer but I think it's so unrealistic to leave an EBF baby for that long. It can take many weeks of transition to get them to take a bottle and mine never did. You'll also be utterly miserable with full breasts I imagine! I left mine aged five or six months for about two hours with a family member. Once they were eating food I increased that very quickly as I knew she'd be fine for longer so by that point it was around 4 hours at 7 months. I definitely wouldn't have wanted to leave her for a whole day until about 10 months, now, but I still wouldn't want to miss bedtime as it's so much a part of her comforting bedtime routine to have a feed then. I know not everyone would be happy with that level of reliance on you but I really don't mind it, it's only natural after all.

I left her as a newborn for 3-4 hours whilst I was at hospital. Then maybe 6 hours when she was 9 months old. I wouldn't go to a wedding if a baby that young isn't allowed to go. I wouldn't go to a festival that far away either. Maybe a short concert but not a festival. I formula fed and still didn't leave her.

Oh my God no way could I be a 3 hour distance away from my baby as an EBF mum at only 12 weeks or so. Don't worry you're not being at all unreasonable. This won't be the first time you have to make the parenting decision that's right for you and your baby in spite of others doing things differently. Make your choice confidently and sod what anyone else thinks!

@RedRobyn2021 yes defo, funnily though it’s a lot of the people I know with babies/small kids around me that have been like this 😅 think it’s a thing where I live, a lot of wine mummies

Also, best easy excuse (true in your case) just tell people they won't take a bottle at all.