What age did you first leave your baby for the day?

[Madge91]

My little girl is currently 11 weeks, and still ebf (not through lack of trying, we’ve been trying to give her a bottle of expressed since she was 5 weeks but she’s really not keen 🥴). I’d be quite happy to just breastfeed her, but I’ve got a couple of events coming up (wedding and festival ticket) that she can’t come with me to. The festival is in 3 weeks and would involve me being out from about 10 till midnight, with 2-3 hours travelling so wouldn’t be able to just dash home if it wasn’t ok.

feel like my anxiety is starting to really go up, a. for leaving her all day at all and b. for the bottle feeding side of things. What age would you have first left your baby for the day? I feel like she’s at such a lovely age right now, that I’m not sure I even want to miss out on a whole family day with her!

Yeah a lot of mums who have FF won't get it, but who cares.

I should have said some not a lot, obviously many women who FF are very empathetic that it's different when BF in terms of when you can leave the baby.

its been a bit of a mixed bag with it, a few of the mums that actually express have said ‘well you should just to leave her to it for the day, she’ll take the bottle once she’s hungry enough’ 😳

That's crazy to me. She's only been out in the world for 77 days, and they want you to do tough love 🤣

Yes it’s a bit like that at the mum groups where I live unfortunately! Also get alot of comments about the fact I don’t drink, as this gets discussed a lot with breastfeeding chats 😅 one mum said to me when bub was 4 weeks old ‘god are you not keen for a big night out now though?’

Definitely very strange that people do this!! Babies are only babies for a tiny amount of time. She will never again need you like she does now, and this time will honestly fly by. Follow your mama instincts.

You'll soon get to leave her for as long as you want and you'll miss these days. Hope people around you become more understanding!

Ahh this has made me cry reading this, it’s such an amazing time so just wanting to soak it all in!

Do they maybe bottle feed?

My own mother was a bit like this with me but I was FF from 6 weeks so I don't think she really understood that my daughter couldn't go 3/4 hours without being fed

No, it’s actually a very mixed bag! My sister breastfed both of hers, and she’s been one of the worst funnily 😂

Soon ? For as long as you want ? Hmm not sure about that but certainly a work day by 10 months or so.

BF, I started doing kit days when she was 8 months, just the odd day and I started doing 4 hours then did a bit longer more like 6
She never took a bottle of expressed milk really, would have maybe an ounce, but ate solids really well
She's 16 months now and I've not left her for anything other than work, actually I've been for a swim so out the house 2 hours, I've done this twice
Anything else full day out wise if rather do with her
But everyone is different and that's fine, and if you're not ready that's also fine

9 months for us. Like you, we EBF and he refused bottles, but I was asked to a work event as a KIT day. I'd done KIT days previously, but my work was half a mile from my parents' house so I could go feed him during my lunch break.

When I left him for the day, it coincided with dropping the lunchtime feed. He had a great time with my parents, then when I got home the poor baby saw me and burst into tears 😂👶👶

I think a festival is honestly a bit unrealistic for such a small baby. A wedding can be done, but I'd be inclined to bring the baby along

How tiresome. Then again I'm a one glass of wine and done person even when not BF so can't really relate! A night or day out away from my baby at such a young age would have just caused me stress. I'd have missed her desperately, my breasts would have hurt, I would have just been suppressing my mum instincts. Her Dad watching her for an hour while I had a run or a bath was more than enough 'me time' for me.

A few weeks maybe. I never had any issue leaving my babies for the day, or even a night. I also did not buy into the idea that I should feel guilty about because I just didn't 🤷‍♀️

If you aren't ready to do the same, that's absolutely fine, don't.

What you do tend to end up with when you put a question like this out there is a lot of judgement. As long as you are able to make the decision that suits you and that you are comfortable with, that's what matters

12 weeks old, to return to work.

I didn't leave my ebf baby until she was 2 because it didn't feel right for me but many people leave their babies much earlier. I think the key is what feels right for you.

10am until midnight? That's a long day! I left mine for about 8 hours from around 9 months.

Mines 11 months was formula fed from 6 weeks and I still haven’t left him for more than the length of a dentist appointment really. I’d desperately love the break….but I know I wouldn’t enjoy one as all I want to do is be with him, it’s a no win scenario really.

But then DH and I have zero support so I can’t even think of anybody at this stage I could comfortably leave him with. I can see it being this way for at least another 6 months minimum before I’d consider family having him. If we had more hands on family and they lived nearby I probably would be ok at this point to have a few hours out in the day.

Thanks everyone! I’ve cancelled going to the festival, sister is annoyed with me but hey ho! Need to prioritise baby and myself atm. Thanks for the support!