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Original poster

Awful plane journey

40 replies

CoralSnail · 31/05/2024 20:10

Have had an awful plane journey with my almost 3yo. Short domestic flight, managed take off and flight ok, but absolute melt down at being put back into her own seat (next to me) for landing. Cabin crew telling me she needs to sit down, we can’t land until she does, it’s a safety thing… (yes I know, but tried everything and she was hysterical wanting to sit on my lap, I physically could not get her in her seat). Whole plane watching (and listening…) Eventually they gave me a lap belt extender in desperation - but “just this once because we have to land”. Child screaming. Felt like a total utter failure.

Dad sitting 4 rows behind with our 5yo, who was a total dream.

No advice needed… just hoping some solidarity that I am not a total failure as a parent…

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Houseplanter · 31/05/2024 20:13

I really hope all the parents on board (and the decent ones who aren't parents) had nothing but sympathy and understanding OP

Gin and

laurageee · 31/05/2024 20:15

I have a 6yo and 8yo and we've never been abroad for this very reason. 8yo is the most well behaved child (usually) but the 6yo... I could write a book full of stories like this one, admittedly it is getting better as they're getting older but for years I've felt like a travelling circus! Everyone always staring at us, the most strong willed child absolutely point blank refusing to do as he's asked and me always on the verge of a meltdown myself 😂 omg it's been a challenging 6 years!

WonderingWanda · 31/05/2024 20:18

Been there with my dd at a similar age. I didn't realise at the time but she was coming down with a bug and must have been feeling like crap. She was so unreasonable. It was really embarrassing and stressful.

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PoopingAllTheWay · 31/05/2024 20:20

They could of just given you a seat belt extender straight away. Why put u and ur child through that! Unreasonable on behalf of the staff

LaPalmaLlama · 31/05/2024 20:23

I had the opposite problem when dd was about 15 mo and didn’t want to sit on my lap for take off ( she had her own seat). I had a broken foot and had one of those rehab boots but it was still sore. She was rigid, screaming and thrashing about, kicking me repeatedly in the broken leg. Dh was behind me giving me helpful parenting tips. When the seatbelt sign went off practically everyone from our cabin fled to the other one ( long haul day flight so quite empty). The shame!!

ah well. We laugh about it now!!

plasq · 31/05/2024 20:24

You are not alone!

Flight with toddler traumatised me for years. We were the family no one wanted to be sitting near!

LittleMonks11 · 31/05/2024 20:25

This happened to us on a flight back from New York with DD when she was 4. She would not get off the floor into her seat to land after we had to wake her up after overnight flight. She was screaming the house down. I was dying inside. Husband was helpless. Cabin crew was taking no prisoners. I can't remember how we got her into the seat and belted but we did. Seared in my memory. She's 12 now and flying is a breeze. Solidarity.

LaPalmaLlama · 31/05/2024 20:27

PoopingAllTheWay · 31/05/2024 20:20

They could of just given you a seat belt extender straight away. Why put u and ur child through that! Unreasonable on behalf of the staff

Because it’s technically not allowed and if anyone reported them they’d likely get fined/ get in deep shit. Kids under 2 must be in own seat/ under two must be on lap for take off and landing.

ChocHotolate · 31/05/2024 20:30

Yep we had the same. Almost 3yr old in total screaming meltdown refusing to sit in own chair for landing. We were given extension too

mollyfolk · 31/05/2024 20:34

It’s awful. My middle child was horrendous for this type of thing on planes when he was that age. Also hated suncream being applied and had meltdowns about hats. I look back and wonder and why we bothered with holidays at all.

I’m sure you were only getting the vibes of solidarity from other parents: I always try and give people a little nod and a smile when they are dealing with a meltdowny toddler in a confined space

LittleMonks11 · 31/05/2024 20:50

I remarked to DH today (we're on holiday) how I've got to the age where I don't mind screaming babies and kids one bit. However, I have noted huffy puffy men on our flight and by the pool about crying children. DH has never been bothered by it.

YouveGotAFastCar · 31/05/2024 20:59

You’re not alone, friends have been there too.

They can’t usually bend on them being in their own seat but I know a few cabin crew and they’ve usually got some tips and tricks to get them back into their own seats.

I’m sorry it was so bad!

Original poster

CoralSnail · 31/05/2024 21:22

Thanks all, the solidarity and equally appalling other stories are making me feel less like such a failure.

It was our first attempt at a flight with children… based on this experience, we’ll be leaving it another few years before we try again, and stick to cars and trains in the meantime…

OP posts:

OhMehGoddess · 31/05/2024 21:23

I still shudder going on a family holiday visiting family with my then 3 year old He was awful on some parts. He was just a terrible toddler and onwards.
Not sure I even want to travel with him at 8 now, his patience is none existent he was a dream to fly with at 6 weeks old though. But only then.

My oldest on the other hand has always been a dream traveler, from when he was a baby. Oh how naive I was .

HcbSS · 31/05/2024 21:26

PoopingAllTheWay · 31/05/2024 20:20

They could of just given you a seat belt extender straight away. Why put u and ur child through that! Unreasonable on behalf of the staff

No it isn’t. The rule is over 2s have to be sat in their own seat. They can’t make exceptions for every child who can’t behave. Where do you draw the line? What if a 5 year old starts acting up. The rules are there for safety.

DaytripperShoes · 31/05/2024 21:37

We had similar with a nearly 2 year old. We were flying to greek island on a charter flight with other holiday makers. Quite often during the next week when we got in to small talk with other tourists there would be a realisation and they'd say 'oh you were the ones with the screaming child'.

Pammela2 · 31/05/2024 21:41

Aw what a shame! Lots of people go through similar but not all flights are the same! They can also be brilliant. Don’t let it put you off!

ImNotAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm · 31/05/2024 21:41

I’ve been one of the other passengers in this exact scenario, and honestly, I just wished that I could help and that I had gin to hand to offer the poor mum.

Overthebow · 31/05/2024 21:43

This is why I take emergency sweets everywhere. I don’t condone it usually but in emergency situations it has to be done.

Tarantella6 · 31/05/2024 21:45

Yep been there. DD1 sat in her seat HOWLING and trying to climb on DH's lap. Imagine how delighted our fellow passengers were when we all got off the coach at the same hotel 😁

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 31/05/2024 21:48

Just write it off as a shit flight. Dh can do the return 😂

neonbluedog · 31/05/2024 21:52

Solidarity OP! We fly to Florida to visit family once a year. It was Covid when my oldest was 1-3 so didn't fly with him at those tricky ages. My youngest will be 2.5 when we next go and won't be able to be in my lap anymore. I have a feeling we could have the same situation you had. You are not a bad parent!!!

theeyeofdoe · 31/05/2024 21:55

We had a similar flight and didn’t fly with the kids for years. (We did leave them with grandma and go away though!)

Neolara · 31/05/2024 21:57

I think this has happened to at least one person on every long haul flight I've ever been on. Hideous for you, but also pretty common. One day you'll look back on it and laugh.

Brings to mind one of our hideous flights with kids. I had a 2 year old on my lap for the 12 hour flight. Dh definitely had the better option looking after DD (4 yo) sitting next to him. That is until DD vomited prolifically at take off. Dh heroically caught dd's vomit in his hands and then had to hold it outstretched in front of him for 15 mins until the the seatbelt light went off. I may have laughed...

legacyflygirl · 31/05/2024 22:35

I'm cabin crew and I had a horrendous flight with my own DD.
Don't worry about it, most people will have been looking on in sympathy.
As for the extension seatbelt, technically you shouldn't have been given one...... it's not crew being mean, it's a legal requirement that over 2 year olds sit in their own seat for take off and landing.

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