Awful plane journey

[CoralSnail]

Have had an awful plane journey with my almost 3yo. Short domestic flight, managed take off and flight ok, but absolute melt down at being put back into her own seat (next to me) for landing. Cabin crew telling me she needs to sit down, we can’t land until she does, it’s a safety thing… (yes I know, but tried everything and she was hysterical wanting to sit on my lap, I physically could not get her in her seat). Whole plane watching (and listening…) Eventually they gave me a lap belt extender in desperation - but “just this once because we have to land”. Child screaming. Felt like a total utter failure.

Dad sitting 4 rows behind with our 5yo, who was a total dream.

No advice needed… just hoping some solidarity that I am not a total failure as a parent…

Been there and sending sympathy and wine. Very delayed flight back last year, some how I ended up with 3 year old DTs either side of me and 1 year old DS on my lap (whilst DH and, DM and DF sat in a row together…). Both twins were hysterical at not being allowed to sit on me, and baby wanted to be bf but had to sit forwards. We haven’t flown since!

We got back from holiday last week. I was repeatedly kicked from behind by a three year old whose mum was trying to stop him. (Ryanair flight so no space to move) my ds screamed hysterically on landing as his ears popped. A baby screamed constantly. Kids are not meant for aeroplanes

We went to Lanzarote when DD1 was 6 and DD2 was 15 months. DD2 did not want to be held at all. She wanted to crawl about in the corridor of the plane which obviously she couldn't do. So she screamed pretty much all the way there. A boy in the row behind about the same age matched her scream for scream. It was a delightful flight for everyone ...not! Thankfully she was fine on the way home. She is 26 now and we still talk about it.

Don't let it put you off, we did 4 flights last year including 2 long haul. First one was to Dubai and she was an angel, second was to Spain and she was a NIGHTMARE!! If that had been our first flight we wouldn't have flown again but the rest were amazing and she didn't cry once. The Spain one will haunt me forever though 🙈

So grateful my GP told me to give water to my baby on a flight because of the pressure - ear popping - because even I feel it.

I am sure there is a good reason but why on Earth wasn’t her father looking after her when you had a broken leg and she was being so challenging?

Yes, I was wondering that as well.

I have just returned from a holiday to a Greek island and there were quite a lot of crying babies and toddlers on the flight. The parents were trying their best to calm them down, and they had nothing but sympathy from me.

The only time I get vexed with small children on flights (in reality it's their parents) is when they kick my seat and the parent doesn't try and stop them.

I once very pllitely asked a mother to ask her child to stop kicking my seat and she just said "he can't help it, he doesn't know any better"

Well he bloody wouldn't if he isn't told!

There was logic to our plan but it backfired- she was still breastfed so made sense for her to be next to me ( as I said she had her own seat) and also ds was fairly recently potty trained so made sense for him to be with Dh who was more likely to have to do a toilet dash at short notice- you can walk pretty normally in a rehab boot but it’s clunky plus at that age he was just generally more fidgety/ needed more entertaining. DD was generally a very chill baby so we decided this would be fine. She only kicked off once the seat belt sign was on and we were pretty much front of the take off queue ( so not just taxiing out) so DH couldn’t just unclip and come and help me. Even the crew were strapped in.

Why on these threads do we always have to go off topic and go after the father…

@CoralSnail Yeah been there and done that- flight home from Malta with then 3 year old dd. She screamed so much- it was late, her ear was sore… she eventually also got an extender and cuddled in… but after like 20 solid minutes of screaming.

Said Dd is now a mum herself and worried about our flight home from Spain with her 3 year old- I’ve told her if karma comes to kick I will be laughing!! Honestly no one else matters and what they think is really irrelevant!!

Don’t be put off - next time make sure you all get seated together even if you have to pay extra. Have her most favourite thing to bribe her, whether it be sweets, a drink or a teddy. She now knows what is expected so will likely be better next time too.

Sod’s Law was we had paid to sit together, but flight was cancelled at last minute… so rebooked on a later one with no seats together… and had used up all my normal bribes getting her in her seat for take off. Tried everything in my normal parenting hacks for landing but she was just too far gone….

Don't worry OP, most of us have been there. My personal worst story with kids doesn't involve a plane but McDonalds... where they were so bad I ended up paying for someones coat to be dry cleaned and left a tip on the table as there was such a mess. They were standing by with mop and bucket as we left. It was 12 years before I went back!

File it away for the wedding speech OP. It'll be funny one day, but that day won't be today!

Try get an hour today to go for a walk by yourself to decompress if you can - DH owes you a bit of downtime!

Could you practice , outside of a plane, other scenarios where she has to do something. There are many other experience that, for safety she will need to do something. That might help for next time- remember this is a "must do time". Easier said than done I appreciate.. I was lucky as I never had runners etc.