How do working parents manage school pick-up with a long commute?

[Somethingsgotthagive]

DC currently goes to nursery and both me and DH have a very good commute.
We are planning to move further out to afford a house and DC will be in school next year, so that will mean longer commute and shorter childcare hours (afternoon clubs in various schools I checked close at 5:30pm or 6pm latest and the majority of these are oversubscribed anyway so difficult to get a place).

How do you manage school pick ups and wrap around care during school years if you both work full time? I can only WFH twice a week and need to be in the office the rest of the time, DH needs to go 5 days per week.
I am not a great fan of CM as I don't like the idea of having DC staying at home with a stranger and their family (please respect this, it's my personal opinion and feeling and I absolutely do not judge parents who do that). What are we supposed to do? Employ a nanny for pick ups only? are they even easy to find? Give up on the idea to have a house further out and just stay in a small flat in current area instead?

After school nannies are not easy to find but easier than they were. i think cost of living has forced a few more people back into the market. I managed to find someone at Christmas to do 3.30-7pm 5 days a week plus extra in half the school holidays (roughly) - just under £20ph so not cheap. But she's sensible and kids like her. Semi retired with a mixed career rather than a professional nanny . But it was a personality fit for me so I was willing to take a chance (and we had some tangential connections which helped both of us feel it was the right choice).

I used childcare.co.uk and read practically every single post by people looking for jobs within 10 miles of me. Messaged them, do phone interview with 4 and in person interview with 2.

That said, this is my 10th year of childcare so I know what I'm looking for. I appreciate it's tougher coming to it cold. But it is possible.

But I also stayed in zone 2 london so have a bigger pool of candidates than possibly in the HC.

I would have thought it will be harder to find an after school nanny out of a city as it means less options to combine the limited nanny hours with other work or study.

The other issue is that part time nannies often don’t stay that long - because they really want a full time job and one comes up, or because they are fitting it around studying and then that ends.

You may get lucky of course. But I wouldn’t want to move out thinking you’ll rely on after school nannies.

I don't believe that both parents can work FT with that commute unless they have grand parents to help out.

I agree that 7.30-6pm is an awfully long day for a small child.

You also have sick days, school holidays & school events you might want to go to. The kids can't do any local clubs or do play dates.

So I would stay local & accept staying in flat & just go make use of outdoor spaces.

Can you reduce down to 4 days? You said DH wasn't able to get any flexibility. But that might help.

At this age, DH did drop off in the morning to a childminder and then to a school breakfast club and I did pick up, but never any later than six. I was an 1:15 away and absolutely raced out of the office at 4:30/4:45. I worked in the City and live in zone 4.

it worked but it nearly broke me.

They’re older now, and I don’t work at the moment. There is no way I could and do homework/ deal with after school activities/ friend issues. They all play sports to a high level and it’s a constant juggle. Don’t think about the early years if you move out, think about 10 years out. I know that sounds crazy to you now, but it comes at you at the speed of light.

@Somethingsgotthagive I'm facing a very similar situation and curious if you moved and it all worked out? 🤞

Op I'm not sure what the solution is but please consider the stress of having to be back by a set time when you are relying on trains to get there.
I remember the sheer panic of trains being cancelled/late, it caused so much worry and was really stressful.

@Duv we decided to stay in the local area as it would have been too risky to move. So smaller property but easier life was our solution. Good luck!