How do working parents manage school pick-up with a long commute?

[Somethingsgotthagive]

DC currently goes to nursery and both me and DH have a very good commute.
We are planning to move further out to afford a house and DC will be in school next year, so that will mean longer commute and shorter childcare hours (afternoon clubs in various schools I checked close at 5:30pm or 6pm latest and the majority of these are oversubscribed anyway so difficult to get a place).

How do you manage school pick ups and wrap around care during school years if you both work full time? I can only WFH twice a week and need to be in the office the rest of the time, DH needs to go 5 days per week.
I am not a great fan of CM as I don't like the idea of having DC staying at home with a stranger and their family (please respect this, it's my personal opinion and feeling and I absolutely do not judge parents who do that). What are we supposed to do? Employ a nanny for pick ups only? are they even easy to find? Give up on the idea to have a house further out and just stay in a small flat in current area instead?

It is tough, I did it for both my boys. My DH used to drop them off at school (he was a self employed builder so it worked well) and I use to pick up. They both went to after school club but I still had to adjust my working hours to be able to pick up on time. I cut my lunch to 30 mins a day and left 15 mins earlier. Once they got to year 6 they had enough of club and I gave them keys. Best of luck on whatever you decide to do.

I don't know either! Some people have grandparents or relatives, use breakfast and after school clubs. Most people I know tend to live closer to the school and have shorter commutes or flexible working patterns. We manage with a combination of part time work and after school clubs, school transport provided by council, asking other school families or neighbour for the odd favour if absolutely necessary and max 30 min commute. I personally wouldn't even think of doing more even without children, I would rather move house or change jobs that spend 10+ hours a week just traveling to and from work (not judging, just wouldn't want to live like that). It is veru tough, ultimately tough choices have to be made as there are only 24 hours in a day!

Most parents at dc school had nanny or au pair (private school). We had a nanny housekeeper so we could offer 20 hours a week to make it worth her while.

Can you and your partner ask your employers for flexible working with earlier or later stats/finishes so one does drop off and the other picks up?

There's 13 weeks of school holidays too. My school doesn't offer any type of cover at all let alone school holidays. I have to use a completely separate club altogether.

I don't know of any schools in England that offer holiday clubs, everybody jas to use a separate provider

Various arrangements depending on employer flexibility eg i have a friend who starts work at 6.30am, her husband drops the kids at breakfast club at 8, she picks them up at normal finishing time. Another friend does it in reverse husband starts early and picks up at 3.20, she starts at 10am

I had to change jobs.

Trains near us fail about once every three weeks meaning 2hr plus delays. Wrap around get really pissed if if you are that sort if late.

Otherwise;

One does early shift - so goes in at 7am and leaves early to do pick up while other one gets in for 10am but doesn't leave until 7pm or so.

Thanks all. To those asking if we can work flexibly: DH can't and I already do, which means I WFH twice a week (as good as it gets in my industry) and leave early when in the office. No issue at all where I live now as I am within London with good transport but if we moved to the home counties (like we'd like to, to get a house), making it on time for the end of the after school clubs at 5:30pm will be an issue as my commute would be 1 hr and 15 min at least, assuming no delays.

I think what you are suggesting is going to be exhausting for a four/five/six year old child. School is usually much more tiring than nursery is.

@TheSnowyOwl I think we might have to review priorities at this stage of our life and s..k it up with a smaller property or a flat closer to London instead :(

I couldn't leave the office earlier than 4pm unfortunately, no matter how early I arrive as I work for a multinational company and I often have meetings with colleagues and clients based in different countries so need to be online at least until 4pm

My kids went to breakfast and after school clubs and I negotiated a later start time and earlier finish time. This meant a 20% paycut and I still couldn't pick them up till 6pm. They are at secondary now so all that is behind us but it was doable with the shorter hours, all be it still a bit of a juggle.

Have you included the extra commuting and childcare cost in your affordability calculations?

My observation has been that people either:

Stay in London so have short commutes
Negotiate flexible working

It sounds like the second isn't an option for you so you might just have to live with a smaller place.

You could think about a home counties move when the kids are in secondary

There are also some more affordable areas of London - even without going too far out

It's tough. Did it for four years. Now I am only in the office two days a month.

Long live WFH!!!

It also depends on what type of children you have and how adaptable they are. My dc were very needy and found breakfast club/after school club/holiday club really difficult and wouldn’t settle and there was always something to sort out when I turned up.

I was thinking the same. My six year old is much more tired now than she was in nursery FT. We've ended up flexing our hours and each collect her at two once a week and then work late another day. We were struggling to get homework done before that as she's so tired by the time we get home at 5:30 otherwise. Not an option for most though.

Among friends who commute, usually one starts very early and misses the morning routine so they can get back for pickup and the other starts late and misses most or all of the evening.

We’ve got a nanny, but it’s only worked ok as we have a younger child, so are paying her full time hours. Once dc2 goes to preschool in sept we are considering au pair (would just need to cover 3.30-5.30 each day) or possibly nanny housekeeper. We stayed in London even though our house/area isn’t great because my commute is 25mins door to door. Means I can do the school drop off every day as well.

From a child's perspective, they'd be happier to have their mum and dad be there for them rather than a bigger house.

Childminder. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. But I looked at 3 or 4 before I found the right one. Then picked my primary school choices based on the ones she picked up from.

If you can't change jobs I think it's best to get a flat in London. Children would rather have their parents present and close to their school than a big house. They wouldn't get to enjoy said house if they were getting home at 6 every day anyway.

Maybe you can move when they're secondary school age as a PP suggested?

You say that, but if it's a flat with a shared bedroom and no garden Vs their own bedroom and a swing set it might not be that clear cut.

The schools may not but if it is a CofE school the church it's attached to may. The CofE runs lots of baby and toddler groups in various areas of London, and some half terms if asked will run half term clubs for it's attached school and the schools nearby.

(Big joke is that the most commonly practiced religion at all the CofE schools I know is Islam.)

Our school does a holiday club. Only 8:30-3:30 though but it helps. The six weeks holiday's can be stressful.

The school wrap around care runs from 7:30 and closes at 6pm. I work part time, only by dropping 3 hours each week but it is enough to make the school run easier. Dh does rolling shifts so he frequently picks them up but some days can't as he is working 7-7. It requires a lot of juggling.