Having wine while my kid is in bed

[yvonneb13]

Basically that I have a 1 year old 16 months to be exact and I'm currently still up finishing my bottle of wine and watching tv DP getting up with son in morning so no need to panic but I was talking to my mum friends on the group chat and more than half said I shouldn't be drinking incase DS needs me!! So I guess aibu or are they examples they gave if he suddenly becomes unwell ect I just think it's so stupid why can't we enjoy a drink when our kids are asleep???

I had a celebratory glass of champagne when I got back from the hospital after I gave birth (plus all the cured meats and gooey cheeses!).

A lot of people don’t have cars and they manage. I think those mums are being a bit silly!

Well I'm single and I've never stopped having a drink if I want to when she's in bed!
To not be able to react if she needed me, I'd have to be incredibly drunk! And if you're talking about driving well if needs be you'd just get a taxi or find another way wouldn't you.
The chances of it happening are so small that you wouldn't stop yourself drinking if you wanted to!

Just be aware that if you are drinking a whole bottle of wine at a time, then you are directly increasing your risk of cancer and liver disease, amongst other things.

I’m a single mum and don’t have a car- have managed in emergencies with DS (and we had a few!) to get him to hospital in a taxi perfectly well - and tbh probably better than driving solo as needed to be with him & focused on him, rather than driving- so the “fit to drive” thing is a red herring.

On the other hand, personally I’d never drink more than 2 glasses of wine when I’m in sole charge of DS, just because I’d feel anxious that I might not feel well the next day, or wake in the night easily if he needed me. Each to their own I reckon!

"Too pissed" or just slightly over the limit therefore unsafe to drive? Two different things

And phrases like "hit the bottle " imply they were alcoholics? Which would be an even issue than one time they needed help to get child to hospital

I always drank when my kids were small. They’re adults now and no harm done x

Somewhat judgemental language in this post.

I don't tend to drink if DH is not home but if he is I feel no guilt for having a glass or more. I know couples who will both drink then drive home with the kids, now that is out of order.
Find more like minded friends to have in your group.

We don't have a car so no point in worrying about the driving side of things.

We have a drink or two when the kids are in bed, wouldn't get drunk but then we are kinda past that stage of life anyway

We wouldn't drink if the kids are unwell. We have done a few dashes to the hospital but they have never come out of nowhere, the kids have been unwell building up to it

Yes, in real life I've never known this.
People having a drink when the children are in bed is incredibly normal ime. And it's more normal to have a drink with your partner, rather than one of you drinking alone.

Dd is 22y and not nice over those years did we have to make an emergency dash to the hospital having had a drink.

If we had we'd have called an ambulance if necessary or called a taxi if not.

Do these 'friends' also judge parents who can't drive? Or those who,can't afford to have a car available to them at all times? What about those who need to take medication which has similar effects, rendering them ill advised to drive? What about single parents - can they never drink if they have their child with them?

It's not like the vast majority of parents having a drink are drinking massively and getting drunk. I won't drive after drinking but I'm in no way drunk after a couple of glasses of wine!

@Longma to be fair Mumsnet is very judgemental about non drivers...

A glass or two is fine op. As long as that doesn't make you pissed. Your friends sound like cranks.

I probably wouldn’t get wasted, because hangovers and small kids don’t really mix well And I wouldn’t drink if my DC was already unwell (asthmatic so unfortunately fairly often for us), but otherwise yep a few glasses or wine or a couple of gins on a weekend is pretty normal!

i only got thru having many small children with my sanity while having glasses of wine before they went to bed.

To be even fairer, MN is very judgemental of anyone who doesn't live EXACTLY the same way as them. You can pretty much guarantee that whatever someone says or does, there will be a cohort waiting to rip them to shreds.

Absolutely fine. One of my favourite things is sharing a bottle of wine with DH over dinner at the weekend.

I can’t imagine us not drinking in case of a rare emergency event. Can we not share a bottle of wine until my child is 18?!

Nope - even beyond then. If they were staying with you as adults you might have to drive them to the hospital. And what if your neighbour took unwell and you'd 'hit the wine'? It doesn't bear thinking about.

😂 you are absolutely right. In fact, I better put my rosé away right now in case my neighbour’s hamster needs to go for emergency surgery.

😂

One or two glasses - fine. An entire bottle - not fine either in terms of parenting or your health.

It doesn't have to be a medical emergency, dealing with a sickness bug, bed wetting, nightmare etc is very hard if you're worse for wear.

They’re nuts and judgmental. You’re not exactly comatose. In a one in a million chance ds needed to go to hospital you’d either be calling an ambulance or going in a taxi.

😆

I was once referred to as 'a mother that drinks' by a so-called friend. She was also a school governor, knew lots of other parents, and told this to anyone who listened.
All because I enjoyed a glass of red with my dinner. Some people are judgemental, ignorant arseholes...ignore them.

A glass of wine is fine, a bottle isn’t - whether or not you have children.

I don't have a car at all right now. Am I allowed a glass of wine?