Help I have no idea how to go about this- school incident

[Md94]

I was hoping for advice as I just don't know what to do.

My son came home today with 4 bite marks on his arms. He is 7 and in a infant school.

When asked he became very distressed and said he was pinned down by 2 boys from junior school and bitten by a 3rd whilst they were in a PE lesson in the infant school field. My son was walking back to class from lunch across the field when this happened. The teacher of the PE lesson seemed to be oblivious and the lunch ladies had already walked inside before making sure my son was safely in class.

The perpetrators were anywhere between year 3 and year 6 although my son thinks they were on the older side.

What do I do? I don't want to send him and his brother back they are clearly not watching the children and its frightening.

The teacher in the class didn't see his arms covered in bite marks and he was to scared to tell them.

Please help!

Take photos of the marks now and request an urgent meeting with the head on Monday. You could also report to the police.

You just need to speak to the school so they can investigate.

Things get missed in schools all the time and if no one tells them what's happened they can't help. Refusing to spend your children in after one incident and before you've spoken to an adult is an over-reaction.

I would take photos of the bite marks and email the school explaining that your child has come home from school hurt. I would give a brief outline of the incident and explain you want to discuss this urgently on Monday. In the email you can either request a phone call or you can call yourself first thing in the morning.

They will listen to what you say, will want to speak to your child about what happened and will need time to investigate before updating you.

Personally I would continue to send my children to school as normal on Monday as keeping them off will only worry your child more.
I know he was afraid to speak to the teacher but sadly they can’t help if they don’t know about it.

Take photos of the bite marks. Email the school over the weekend, explain what happened and ask for a meeting with the Head. I would send photos with the email.

The email won't be read until Monday morning but if it's followed up straightaway the school might be able to find out some info that could make the meeting more productive.

If the class were in a PE lesson, the school should be able to work out which class it was.

Thankyou for replies I'm still shocked and upset and know I'm at the over reacting stage for sure.

I have spoken to the Head teacher 2 weeks ago as my other son was hit twice and bitten within a 20 minute period in 3 different incidents. She said it would be sorted so losing faith in the school at this point.

Thanks again for your response

I'm not helping here but I would go fucking nuts about this. Your poor boy.

I think calling the police is a bit dramatic for a first step.

Agree with photos for time stamps and sending over asap.

I would expect a meeting, it's disgusting.

Yes things get missed but being held down whilst these boys are meant to be in a lesson and the teacher was oblivious is shocking.

You also need to have a gentle word with your DC and tell them they must tell a teacher straight away. Appreciate easier said than done.

There will be a safeguarding lead at the school who should be keeping an eye on their emails even over the weekend. I'd email the head and safeguarding lead with the photos (hopefully you've already taken them but if not take them asap and email them tonight). I'd outline what your son reports happened and say you want an urgent meeting with them on Monday during which you want 2 things to happen. 1. Reassurance of how they are going to be keeping your children safe in the interim whilst they investigate and take steps to punish the perpetrators and then put measures in place to ensure it can't happen and 2. What the steps of the investigation will be following the meeting with a timeframe for when you should expect at least an update of progress. You will not be entitled to know what actions have been taken in regards to the individual involved but you can be updated with; 'we have identified the children involved' etc and with details of protocols put in place to prevent similar incidents (e.g. retraining lunch staff to ensure all children have been taken inside before going inside themselves or not scheduling p.e. lessons to coincide with other student lunchtimes). Personally Id ask for a printed copy of the complaints procedure at the meeting so that you know how to escalate further if you do not get a satisfactory response from the school.

Why? It's assault. Up to the op of course. I'm not suggesting she call 999. Just report online or 101.

The perpetrators were anywhere between year 3 and year 6 although my son thinks they were on the older side.

Did you miss that bit?

Nope. When my son was about 8 another child pushed him over and stamped on his back in the playground. His teacher actually suggested I report it to the police. These are not toddlers.

This.

Because these children are under the age of criminal responsibility 🙄. What do you expect the police to do about it.

Op you've had some really good advice already about taking photos and contacting the school. They will want to know what happened, try to encourage your child to report any further incidents as soon as they happen to any adult that he trusts in school. It doesn't have to be his teacher just the person he feels most comfortable talking to.

It's very difficult for schools to manage the behaviour of all the pupils all the time. Yes of course you can get situations where staff are not focusing on what's going on and that's not ok and should be flagged up. In this situation it needs further investigation.

As for the poster who said they would go nuts with the school, what are you hoping to achieve by that? Schools can't stop children behaving aggressively. They can put in punishments or sanctions, call the parents in, refer the agressive child or children and have many meetings but at the end of the day unless the behaviour is extreme, there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop it happening.

I work in a school office and deal with many parents every day. The ones who are most likely to develop a good rapport and good working relationships with the staff are those who remain calm, and don't yell and threaten and become highly aggressive themselves when their child gets hurt/ bullied or whatever. We get agressive parents coming in most days. We have a glass screen between us and the parents to protect ourselves.

At my son's school, he was attacked several times by another child who had a 1:1 and was autistic. The 1:1 could take his eyes off him for a second and something could happen. It was upsetting but it enabled us to have lots of chats about why others may become agressive ( usually fear) and how to deal with it.

I hope that your son is ok OP and you get some reassurance from the school.

Well if they are in Y6 in England or Wales, they will be over the age of criminal responsibility. In my case the police went round to talk to the parents. This was many years ago though, my son is 28 now. Maybe everyone thinks it's OK for this type of behaviour to go on in primary schools now.

It’s very difficult for teachers to resolve issues when children don’t say anything.

Email the school over the weekend with details so they are fully away and it can be dealt with next week.

Thanks all your responses are very helpful. I will be sending email and pictured over weekend.

In regards to him not saying anything the school are aware of him having emotional issues since starting school, they have brought it up several times that he has meltdowns and emotional issues which they will usualy pick up on.He found it extremely difficult to even tell his dad and then had a big break down.

I do believe someone should have seen this, it wasn't a little fight he was pinned down by the shoulders and arms and bitten right out in the open and I will not be convinced otherwise that he wasn't failed by the school , I'm an understanding person but that is completely unacceptable.

Thanks again for your help and advice it's helped me to calm down and get this sorted out.

This is assault. Email school you need to speak to the head on Monday. They need to investigate and keep you in the loop. I would skk oh so consider reporting to the police

@itscomplicatedagain I think that was me. I agree, schools can't control everything & my saying I'd go nuts was a general response, and obviously not the ideal. I just can't imagine what it must feel like to see your child come home from school like that.

The lunchtime supervisors shouldn't be leaving the field until all the children are either inside or with their class teacher. I would not be happy especially as this isn't the first biting incident in school,

Take photos and email them across today, detailing the incident. Request an appointment with the Head for first thing Monday morning. Keep your son off school until they can tell you how they plan to keep your child safe in future and ensure no other incidents like this happen. If you’re not satisfied that they can do this, start looking for other schools.

That's awful. Very odd to have all these biting incidents from primary school age children. I would be looking for another school.

The safeguarding lead absolutely does not have to check emails over the weekend . Do you work 7 days a week ?!

Jesus. I fully get the reaction to keep him home. How is he today?