Help I have no idea how to go about this- school incident

[Md94]

I was hoping for advice as I just don't know what to do.

My son came home today with 4 bite marks on his arms. He is 7 and in a infant school.

When asked he became very distressed and said he was pinned down by 2 boys from junior school and bitten by a 3rd whilst they were in a PE lesson in the infant school field. My son was walking back to class from lunch across the field when this happened. The teacher of the PE lesson seemed to be oblivious and the lunch ladies had already walked inside before making sure my son was safely in class.

The perpetrators were anywhere between year 3 and year 6 although my son thinks they were on the older side.

What do I do? I don't want to send him and his brother back they are clearly not watching the children and its frightening.

The teacher in the class didn't see his arms covered in bite marks and he was to scared to tell them.

Please help!

God you are not overacting. What a horrific incident mid to late primary age children biting ? It’s bad enough when toddlers do it but they know no better.

The police would have expected you to have spoken to the school first, especially as the perpetrators are likely under 10.

There will be a safeguarding lead at the school who should be keeping an eye on their emails even over the weekend.

The safeguarding team will be the headteacher and then 1 or 2 other staff members, depending on the school size. In my school it is the deputy ht and the learning mentor.

There is no requirement for them to be checking emails over the weekend. However, it should be read on Monday morning and responded to quickly.

You are NOT overreacting.

The incidents you describe are very serious.

Is there any broken skin? If so they need a doctor to check them - phone 111.

Agree take photos and email for an urgent meeting.

I would not send back to school until I had spoken to the head.

My daughter was bitten in school (the latest in a series of assaults by the same boy in year 5).

I called the head, cited it as a safeguarding issue (it's the magic word) and told her if it happened again I would call the police. So she could communicate that to the parents.

Lockdown happened not long after which was a relief in that regard, but I would 100 percent have carried out my threat.

I found threatening to contact the Police helped primary school to focus too.

Sorry that your little boy has been so traumatised.

As for the poster who said they would go nuts with the school, what are you hoping to achieve by that? Schools can't stop children behaving aggressively. They can put in punishments or sanctions, call the parents in, refer the agressive child or children and have many meetings but at the end of the day unless the behaviour is extreme, there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop it happening.

That is totally bonkers.
Schools have a duty of care and have the responsibility to ensure ALL children are safe.
In the case of the OP, it’s not hard to have staff in the playground until all the children are back inside.

@Md94 as others have said.
Take a photo and email the school. You want a written trace.
Ask them what they are going to put in place so no incident happen again.
I would link BOTH incidents as they are very similar and insist for an answer.
Get back to them in writing with any minutes of any conversation you have with the HT.

Have a chat with your dc too.
Tell them to report any incident like that to the teacher as soon as it happens.

But… I’d also look at other schools around.
Two incidents of the same style is a lot.
And of the school isnt doing anyth8ng g about it, it would make a poor experience for your dcs,

Lakesnake they have a duty of care but it's impossible to actually keep all children safe all the time. That's what I was trying to say. There will unfortunately always be children who behave unpredictability for various reasons.
The case with the OP does sound like the lunchtime supervisors and PE teacher were not supervising properly but things can still happen however vigilant the staff are. Ask anyone who works in a school.

Thanks so much for all of the advice.

I am focusing on writing the biggest email of my life today, I've so far been through the schools policies, procedures and safeguarding policies, midday supervisor policies. I need to research more on safeguarding and I'm having at it.

I am going to threaten with the police as the 3 boys could potentially be 11 years old and they are more than old enough to know that behaviour is extremely wrong. That behaviour from them needs to be stopped now.

I'm in 2 minds about sending him in as I feel like keeping him off is going to make him think about everything and stress him out more. But at home I know he is safe. But as I said my son does have emotional issues and what might not matter to much to one child can be a big deal to him and keeping him off may make the bad experience stick in his mind more.

He has been very quiet this weekend and just a change in him that's not himself, it's hard and distressing and I just don't know the right thing tondo by him.

Thanks again for all the support I can't tell you how much it means to me.

Spending ages concocting a long email quoting policies and safeguarding legislation is actually a ridiculous overreaction when you have not even reported the incident. You say your child has issues which means he can't report then you need to report it and then wait while they investigate. They can't investigate without speaking to your ds so refusing to send him in makes it impossible for this to be resolved.

I work in a school and your reaction is one I have seen before. The child is kept off school while the parent threatens police, Ofsted and the governors. It always ends the same way with the parent eventually realising the child needs to be in school for the school to investigate. Sometimes the parent has also only heard a quarter of the story from their child.

Obviously you are upset but you need to look at it rationally.

Also what do people think the police actually would do if you reported that a primary school child had hit, kicked or bitten another? Do you really think the police would launch an investigation or arrest the child??

You seem to forget it’s the first incident though and that the first incident of hitting (with her other child) has never been properly sorted.
That points towards a systemic issue within the school.

How many incidents do you wait fir before making a real fuss?

Yes that particular incident has been investigated yet.
But do you think they’re going to give an appropriate answer to the OP based on previous behaviour?

Excellent advice. This is very serious and upsetting, but a brief email asking for a meeting is the first place to start. I know the head didn't follow up as promised before, but this is a separate situation.

I understand your answer in the sense of a normal biting incident which happened to my other son . But to be pinned down and bitten by 3 older children that is a huge issue. My concern is only safeguarding I'm not doing the whole this and that act or governors unless necessary.

I have had time to process and do not believe I am over reacting . I believe the school has failed many safeguarding criteria and it needs addressing before I am happy for him to return.

His lack of report to teachers is due to emotional issues that I have been informed of many times by teachers and the school has not addressed. I won't accept him to be the blame when firstly this incident should have been seen and secondly they are aware that he does not react to stressful situations in a normal way.

The light in his eyes has disappeared and he has had trouble eating and sleeping.

If the children are of a reasonable age i will be reporting to the police as assault and violence is illegal.

My other son will be returning as he is able to speak out and his play time is segregated to reception only children.

I will see how this goes forward and hope they have enough info in the email to investigate and then have a meeting and get things sorted. Thanks again for all the good advice and opinions

How can they investigate without speaking to your ds? You say in your OP that your son says they were year 3 to possibly year 6. Without speaking to him, they will not be able to investigate what happened.

Try standing in the middle of the playground and manage to watch all the children at the same time. Try walking in from the field with children all ambling in at different speeds. If a teacher is talking to or attending to another student, how can they possibly see what everyone is doing?

I think you are right that it is violent behaviour and it is serious but that doesn't make it a police matter and the school needs to speak to all concerned to find out what happened.

He will not speak to the teacher without me there regardless as he is frightened, thinks this is his fault, so I'm happy to go in with him and coax what info they need with them, I'm not trying to work against the school. But I do need to know he is safe and it goes against every fibre in my body to send him in with such a big safeguarding problem.

I'm not trying to deny its not hard of times to watch so many children but he said he was one of the last to go in and no dinner lady in sight so he was outside unattended and that also raises questions, he is 7 and tge school is also along a busy street where public could try to enter. I do like to see all sides of everything and not to be to rash but I also have to do what sits right with me. If he goes back and a similar incident happened straight away I would feel like I would have nobody to blame but myself when I know there is a safeguarding issue.

Thanks again for insight and will keep the post updated

Make an ofsted complaint! I can't believe people are saying you're over reacting. I would be pulling from the school immediately