DC bedwetting nearly age 6! Causing frustration

[regretnot]

causing frustration for DC and us and waking so early and not falling back to sleep in a big accident poor thing

he doesn’t want to wear nappy anymore yet needs it

we have tried limiting drinks

when he’s at school it seems bit better but I know he doesn’t drink as much through the day.. time for doctors??

Insist on pull ups, try not to be negative with him. It's not his fault. Phrase it as 'we all need more sleep and the way to do this is pull ups'.

See the doctor.

Have you tried lifting for a wee when you go to bed?

My ds has accidents until 8. I had him sleep in pullups. It was too exhausting not to. I also put a water proof mattress pad, and a thick absorbable blanket under his sheets.

Contact your School nurse team for advice. It's not unheard of for children to be bed wetting much older than 6, so please don't worry too much.

From recollection I was told to not restrict drinks, avoid dark drinks such as blackcurrant juice.

It's not unusual at that age. A hormone needs to kick in.

He needs to wear pull ups though.

The website ERIC is a good place for information.

Nighttime dryness is dependent on the body producing a hormone that slows down urine production at night. GP’s generally won’t refer to eneuresis team until they are 7.

My DS is 11 and we’re still under the team 4 years on, he’s a stubborn case!

It might be worth asking your GP for a referral anyway. Maybe if your DS gets to speak with an eneuresis nurse he will accept he needs pull ups while you follow steps to get him dry.
It’s not always as simple as limiting drinks. My DS has a small bladder capacity which we are trying to increase and he wasn’t drinking enough fluid during the day at school, then topping up after school because he was dehydrated. We needed to follow a care plan to uncover this.

Contact school nurse to access their tier 1 service and ask GP for a referral to a hospital paediatrician. Insist on pull-ups.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessarily the hormone issue. It could also be a bladder capacity/strength issue, so is worth getting seen by a professional as there is also medication that can help.

Defo not unusual as 6. Limiting drinks won't help, it's the hormones not kicked in. Pull ups would help I'm afraid, it's not his fault his body isn't ready yet. Dd1 was still wearing a pull up at 5 I think 😊

@propertyquery how on earth can you say with 100% certainty that the OPs parenting is to blame just because that was your experience?! Awful.

Thanks for your replies!

What can the school nurse do?

He’s a very deep sleeper! So from posts I’ve read it can go up to age 7!

he is resisting pull ups and I haven’t wanted to effect his confidence but yes I will need to insist as he’s so tired for school and it’s having a knock on effect on everything..

thanks

I agree with @queenrollo the ERIC website is a great start to try to figure out if it is a hormone thing. Ds was prescribed desmopressin to reduce his urine production at night, on max dose it worked but we only used it for holidays/hotel stays/school residentials but he still wore a pull up. This confirmed it was a hormone issue but the ERIC website reassured us that this was perfectly normal.

They should produce the hormone vasopressin. We tried alarms, monitoring liquid intake and output over a school holiday so we could get him to pee in a jug and measure the urine. He stopped wetting consistently aged 10.

Supermarkets give over valuable shelf space to pull ups for much older children because there is a need. Both my Dad and I wet the bed as children. We were taught it was shameful to not be able to control your bladder when you sleep. I am glad things are changing.

There are also significant medical reasons for this problem that are nothing to do with bad parenting. My son has an x-ray next week for this exact issue. The several consultants he is under don’t see it as a parenting issue ffs.

Of course it isn't, and it is very very normal.

My son (PhD is astrophysics) bed wet until 11 - I wouldn't mention this to anyone who knew me, because it used to upset him so much. But I wasn't worried, as my brother ( world class and world famous in his academic field) was the same

I second this. DS is 5 and I still wears pull ups at night.

My son is 12 this month. Last month was the first one he’s ever had more than one dry night in a row. It is just what happens - there is a family link on his dads side too. Yes it is hard (but given the range of issues someone can have, this one is just inconvenient). Spend time on the ERIC website, get the bedliners that go on top of sheets, and don’t approach it as a problem to be fixed but a challenge you’ll meet together. Round here you can get referred to the continence team from age 5.

DS never wanted to wear pullups either so I bed layered instead. A waterproof protector covered by a disposable change mat then another sheet and disposable mat etc. Usually 3 or 4 changes deep to cover the worst nights but it meant that when he called me I could literally strip a layer off and pop him straight back into bed. Worked brilliantly for us and suddenly at age 11 just before finishing primary it all stopped and has never happened again.

Don't be absolutely ridiculous. I was a late bed wetter, as was DS1. Nothing to do with parenting. What a load of shite.

OP pull ups. They are a god send. That and an adult incontinence pad underneath them to sleep on

@propertyquery reported

For waterproofing the bed, check out incontinence websites, lots of products to help deal with what is hopefully a temporary problem he grows out of. We had several cheap duvets that we could easily wash at home and dry. It was just part of how we dealt with it.

Me too - so unnecessary and completely untrue.

Completely normal at that age OP! For some children anyway.

Loads still in night time pull-ups until 6/7. You can't teach it, it's hormonal.

So when we were under the school nurse, she gave us a drinking schedule to help improve his bladder capacity and strength. He was to have a 200ml drink five to six times a day, and then go to the toilet 40 minutes later. He was told to sit on the toilet rather than stand, and to wait 30 seconds after finishing and then try again to ensure the bladder was empty. They’ll also advise no fruit juices or squash (especially dark ones) or fizzy drinks. They may be able to refer to continence services to provide pull ups.

We used a bed wetting alarm when DD was about 8.
Someone off here kindly sent it to me many years ago.

It worked within 3 nights. No idea why or how. It was like something kicked in mentally.

Out of curiosity, since you’ve been so quick to attack other peoples parenting…

you say it wasn’t something time or medication could fix, but that you were only a bed wetter until ‘quite late’. So what fixed it for you? I take it your mother didn’t just stop emotionally abusing you all of a sudden and so the wetting stopped? Or was it….that you got older and it stopped?