DC bedwetting nearly age 6! Causing frustration

[regretnot]

causing frustration for DC and us and waking so early and not falling back to sleep in a big accident poor thing

he doesn’t want to wear nappy anymore yet needs it

we have tried limiting drinks

when he’s at school it seems bit better but I know he doesn’t drink as much through the day.. time for doctors??

These can be brilliant if the problem is that the child is such a deep sleeper that they won’t wake when they need the toilet - Op you said he’s a deep sleeper so this is worth looking into.

@regretnot my DS was almost 10 we called pull ups, bedtime pants. We just waited it out knowing it's hormonal as preferred not to medicate, but we were just at the point with raising with GP when he stopped wetting at night. At 6 he won't be the only one in his class. My DS went on cub camps, just managing it discreetly with leaders help.

did your mother deny you access to the toilet? Because there is no other way she could cause bedwetting

My cousin was very late with this too - still had the odd accident at 17 on holiday with us - it's hormonal we understand.

I think my son was 13 or 14 before he was mostly dry at night. As others said, it's dependent on a hormone kicking in.

There are things that can help, alarms and medication. Also actually increasing fluids during the day is better than reducing them.

It's a common problem.

This.

He can't help it. Some Dc take longer than others to produce the hormone to stop them weeing the need.

Pull-ups. No arguments.

Our boy has this problem and we managed to solve it by waking him as we went to bed to take him the loo- it wasn't easy and a total pain in the neck but it solved it. Nobody feels worse about this than the poor child wetting the bed so it's lovely to see them grow in confidence as they wake up to a dry bed - we used to use incontinence sheets and open the pull up and put it in underwear before we learned the midnight wee trick !

Same here but I think it was even later, maybe 9 or 10. He regressed, we did it again and it stuck that time.

You used to be able to self refer to the school nursing team for this in my area. They ran clinics.

I took my son as he was given an alarm which worked very quickly. My friend took hers and he had to increase his fluids in the day.

Whilst the hormone thing is true, we delayed getting help for a while waiting for the hormone and actually that wasnt his problem.

6 isn't unusual to not be dry at night. Pull ups and no fuss made is the best way as otherwise it's embarrassing. I stopped overnight at 14.

Please ask for a referral to the enuresis clinic. It might be hormonal, deep sleeping, insufficiently trained bladder, or a combination of all of them. Only the nurse/ consultant will be able to help you to devise a strategy. What it isn't causing it is your parenting!
At 7, 10% of children aren't dry at night. Even by 11 they'll not be the only one in their class. Bed alarms, Desmopressin and building new habits will all help different children. Pull-ups are usually NOT advised as the child needs to feel wet to be able to act on it.
My DS was 14 before he was dry at night. It can be phenomenally upsetting for them; medical help is the way forward to support them and you. Our GP referred DS when he was 8.
A good mattress protector and bed pads will be the way forward.

Don't call them nappies, call them pull ups or anything else but nappies. Make sure he sees the packet with pictures of older children like him on it.

Yes this. We called them night-time pants. We never made a big deal of it. They were put on last thing before bed and off at first wee in the morning.

You need to get a bed wetting alarm. It will wake your child once they've had an accident and eventually the brain will learn to respond to the bladders signals and wake the child prior.

What horrible comments! You have as much control over weeing as you do sneezing.
OP has come here for support and help.

Layer the bed, OP. You need a waterproof mattress protector, then a sheet, then a large disposable mat, then another sheet - add more layers if he wets more than once.

What you’re aiming for is the easiest bed change - removing layers but not having to get more bedding out to remake. My two were ok but we did this anyway as we have friends who were in this situation - and accidents can happen occasionally when DC are ill in any case.

We tried this when DS was 9. Same result, worked within 3 nights!

Interesting that you are all very quick to pounce on a suggestion that poor parenting is the issue and instead it's 'normal/ hormonal/ etc'. Anything to move blame from the parents onto something external/ out of their control.

I've had personal experience and I can tell you, it was 100% not my parenting or my own mums parenting. You're actually off your trolley

My eldest wore pull ups at night until he was around 6.5, then one day we realised he had been dry at night for a week, and he's never needed them since - as a pp says it's a hormone that needs to kick in so there is no point expecting a child to be dry at night until that happens. We just called them night-time pants rather than pull-ups or nappies so maybe try that rather than telling him he is going back into nappies.

7 is fine, GP won’t do anything.
back to pull ups: only time is needed x

Your comments are so bizarre, what an odd thread to you to decide to project your own issues onto. Maybe if the OP's child was above the max age that the hormone should kick in you might have some kind of a point, but the child is 5 - well within normal parameters.

1 in 5 seven year old aren’t dry at night. Both my dc were 7 when one night they just were dry.

don’t stress. Ask them to pick out the other 5 kids in their class who aren’t dry. Make them feel it’s normal and nobody can tell.

don’t limit drinks. Part of being dry is the biofeedback from the bladder waking them up when it’s full. If you limit drinks the bladder doesn’t stretch and trigger them to wake.

don’t lift. This just teaches them to wee in their sleep. If you must take them for a late wee they need to be fully awake and get themselves to the toilet.

don’t rush it. Nappies/pull ups may seem babyish but it is a lot easier than washing duvet, bedsheets, cleaning mattresses every day and being up multiple times a night to strip beds. This will just cause stress and make everyone feel like he is the problem, that he should be able to control it.

last thing is patience. The hormone that stops the kidneys making urine will kick in, and until it does they will make too much to be dry all night.

we had an agreement. 3 dry nappies and we’d try without. If they couldn’t have 3 dry nights without, we went back to nappies. I explained their bodies weren’t ready and they just needed time.

there’s nothing worse than a wet bed. Keep them in pull ups or nappies until they’re ready.

Well yeah because it’s firstly hormonal and secondly a medical issue. And not an unusual one so it’s quite well understood that it is definitely not a parenting issue! 🙄

OP - back to pull ups. Get the PJ Pants if they seem more grown up maybe.
4 is the average age to be dry at night. He’s only 5, a good number of his class at school will be the same I promise. What you can do at home to help- drink lots during the day to increase bladder capacity (I know school is out of your hands but encourage as much as you can), no blackcurrant, limit caffeine especially in the PM obviously I know he’s not knocking back espressos but chocolate contains it too, wee before his bath and another right before bed to check. I’d also see if the GP/school nurse will see him. They may say he’s too young yet but worth a go because as a deep sleeper he may benefit from an alarm.

OP I've replied to many a bid wetting thread on here.

I wet the bed almost every night till about 12, and finally stopped completely a year or two later.

A combination of hormones and being a heavy sleeper. But mostly hormones.

My mother tried all sorts. The GP, charts, lifting in the night, limited drink.

None of it worked. Only time.

I had a rubber sheet.

She never lost her patience, or blamed me in any way.

I felt bad enough and she certainly wasn't going to add to it.

Patience, pull-ups or rubber sheet. All you can do is manage it and wait.

And please.. no ridiculous bloody alarm.