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Original poster

So sick of arguing about bloody screens

52 replies

DeathToScreens · 03/05/2024 17:54

Over the last several months, my son (age 9) has had several meltdown type episodes that involve lots of whining, demanding and lashing out at me because apparently "all of his friends" are allowed far more, or unlimited, screen time compared to him (who knows if this is even true). He is the most persistent child I've ever met and will not take no for an answer, about anything. He will go on about it for an hour or more. He thinks it's unfair and that he is left out. He claims I am too strict.

He's had a tablet since last Christmas. We lock it down/control it with the Google Family Link app. So certain apps are completely blocked (e.g. YouTube) and others have a time restriction (e.g. Roblox). We have it set so he can use the tablet for 2hrs each weekend day, plus 30min two afternoons a week. This is in addition to being able to watch TV on weekend mornings and watching YouTube for 5hrs straight after his grandparents pick him up from school once a week... (don't get me started on that...)

If he were allowed, he would spend ALL DAY (I kid you not) in front of the TV or tablet, and any exposure makes it SO HARD to get him out of the house or engaged in any other activity at all.

He has older and younger cousins who are allowed unlimited access to phones/tablets, and they are on them ALL THE TIME. One of them didn't leave the house all last summer because he was glued to a phone. He sees this and thinks it's the norm and unfair that he can't do the same.

When he has these meltdowns, sometimes I try just to listen and absorb his complaints, but more often than not it escalates and he ends up calling me names or telling me to shutup... then he loses access to the tablet/TV the next day. But it doesn't help at all. He's so caught up in thinking that everyone else is getting more access than him.

I'm so sick of going round in circles arguing about bloody screen time. At this point I just want to take a sledgehammer to every stupid screen. Am I being too harsh in my restrictions? Has anyone else been in this position?

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Tovacado · 04/05/2024 15:01

Wisterical · 04/05/2024 09:30

One thing I'm wondering about, because no-one has mentioned it yet, is how you talk to him about it. Have you explained why you are limiting screen time?

At 9 years old there's potential for a good discussion about why screen time can be problematic. You can introduce the concept of screen addiction, of isolation, of tbe consequences of reduced ability to concentrate, effects on developing brains. You could encourage your child to think about this for themselves and help them recognise their feelings when they're denied screens, or use screens for lots of hours.

I think we underestimate childrens ability to understand this stuff. I mean, you're always the adult and still have to enforce your rules, but you can help your child to want to self-regulate.

I’d agree with this. My 10 year old is fully signed up to no iPad/gaming because we’ve discussed the downsides many times.

Also agree with a pp that parents are very much guilty of using screens to placate/bribe/babysit their kids, but are then surprised when the kid is dependent on it.

If you go down the route of banning or restricting screens strictly your life will be more difficult but the upside is that you will be teaching your kid to navigate life without those crutches.

ArchaeoSpy · 04/05/2024 15:10

@DeathToScreens offer chores to do then he gets screen time ?

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