Breastfeeding nightmare continuation

[Hungus93]

I have a 6 week old baby (born 2 weeks early) on board, and I'm driving myself crazy with anxiety still. I wanted to quit breastfeeding so many times already but I'm guessing some sort of an evolution glitch makes me keep going. Now even if I did want to quit I don't think I can as my baby keeps throwing up any formula she gets since a few days ago, which she never did before!

Anyway, my issue is that I have huge, saggy boobs which makes it impossible for my baby to get a good latch. I tried I think literally everything. Or I should say tried to try. Flipple, sandwich, nipple shields, rugby hold, etc. Went to see a lactation consultant twice. Saw cranial oestopath three times. Still nothing. I can't get the little one to open her mouth wide enough no matter what I try and I can't shove enough breast into her.

Now, the silver lining is that she seems to be gaining weight just fine - she was born at 3.7kg and I just weighed her and she's 5.7kg as of today, and she only turned 6 weeks yesterday. She also has plenty dirty and wet nappies.

I just feel like something is not right though. She sleeps all the time. She wakes up for the feedings herself but very very rarely has any awake windows. She will wake up screaming for boob, I'll put her on the breast and she'll fall back asleep literally few minutes later. I then take her to change her nappy when she unlatches, she will scream, and I put her back on the other boob and she's asleep again.

She did have jaundice which she was treated for, and we went to prolonged jaundice clinic as her levels didn't fall below 80 at the 14 day check, and still didn't when she was one month old (they were 109). All her tests came back normal so there doesn't seem to be a health issue. I mentioned to the doctor about her sleepiness but they seemed to brush it off as she's gaining weight.

I'm worried she's only getting enough milk to survive but not to thrive. How is she meant to fit her milestones when all she does is sleeping? Could it be that she finds breastfeeding so tiring because of the shallow latch?

Anyone has similar experiences?

Have you spoken to your health visitor about your anxiety? Your very new baby is gaining weight, and sleeping; that's what babies do initially.

Not yet but I will mention to her next week when she comes to visit. I know newborns sleep a lot, but it just seems too extensive to me, everywhere I read says their awake windows should be 45-90 mins, there's no way my little one is hitting that.

Hang in there, some babies sleep a lot! I had one that never slept and one that slept loads, and it can be a bit disconcerting!

The big boob thing- I have to prop mine up with a muslin. Literally stuff a sausage of muslin under your boob to get a good angle on your nipple. Also propping baby up with pillows. It feels like a lot of faffing around but I find it much more comfortable. I was helped find these solutions by a most excellent breastfeeding counsellor who saved my bacon and I was so grateful! Breastfeeding is bloody hard work but it will get better x

I had similar experiences and went through everything what you have mentioned. Best thing for you to do is try not to worry. Think about relaxation techniques, hot bath etc. There is a lot of pressure on brestfeeding and at the end of the day main thing is what works for you and the baby. You baby is healthy weight, so you must have been doing something right. You can try to pump the milk out or try mixed feeding, it is up to you.
Babies sleep as they find brestfeeding soothing, it is quite common at the beggining and this should change with the time.
All the best.

Thank you for this - I'm a first time mum and just finding everything so tough! I'm worried about my sausage all the time. Re muslins, yes I literally have a hand towel rolled up as my boobs just ate the muslins up 🤣 but they still do seem to be helping much, definitely not with latching sadly 😢

Thank you! I would love to combi feed but I'm now worried that the little one has developed some sort of an intolerance to formula because of the throwing up episodes, it makes me feel deflated as the thought of always being able to switch to formula gave me some comfort, also the fact the dad could give her a bottle when I was away but now it seems like that's not an option too!

I can't help with the breastfeeding issues as I don't have particularly big boobs, but just to say my DC2 was a very sleepy newborn. He loved to breastfeed and he spent most of the first 12 weeks dozing and attached to me, sleeping away from me in-between. He started to 'wake up' a bit from there and by 4 months was awake a lot more and much less interested in breastfeeding. And cried and was unsettled a whole lot more of course too. Honestly I would try to relax and 'enjoy' this peaceful time as much as you can.

(I'm saying all that assuming you don't have pain breastfeeding as you didn't mention any in your post.)

Btw if you do want to stop breastfeeding btw then do so. You don't need a reason and you don't need anyone's permission. Feed your baby the way that suits you best.

Thanks so much for this, I try to remember that all babies are different but it's so worrying especially when I read on the wake windows or hear how alert some of other babies similar age are. Re breastfeeding, there isn't any physical pain luckily, it's just a bit of a pain in the ass lol. I would really like to do combi feeding, so I can have a bit of freedom from time to time but this formula vomiting thingy is now proving to be a problem. I just feel like I can't win!

Not an expert, only managed to breastfeed my second (first had cmpa and severe reflux). For position, have you tried side lying? My breastfed baby, my second, slept for 20+ hours until a few months old. I was concerned enough to be googling too! She's just a very chilled person it turns out, loves her sleep (and her breastmilk still at 2...).

If weight gain and nappies are good, do what works for you. I wouldn't be worrying about the sleep just yet - it may be a sign of a relatively chilled out little person. God knows my 5yo non chilled baby is still not chilled, and a worse sleeper than his little sister...

Thank you, I did try side lying but it doesn't really work because my boobs are all over the place, also I think I would be too scared to fall asleep in this position and I need to hold my boob in place as otherwise she's suffocating! I'm also glad it's not just me, and hopefully it's a sign I'm going to have a chilled little person too haha 😂

Could you express milk for the odd bottle, maybe your DC will get on better with that than formula? Realise may not be possible though, I couldnt produce much with a pump past about the 6 month mark. Or you could try a different formula, DC1 had cow and gate fine but for some reason DC2 seemed to get an upset stomach with it so we switched them to Hipp and they got on well with that.

I tried doing that but after all the time she spends on the boob, having something else on the boob is the last thing I want tbh 🥲 I may have to though if I ever want to go somewhere childless though! Re formula, I may give another one a try, although I'm a bit surprised this started happening lately as she has been having an odd bottle of aptamil here and there since birth (she actually fed formula only for a few days after birth as she wouldn't latch at all in the beginning), and she was absolutely fine with it. I just don't know what happened.

There is a specific formula/added powder for your problem, please ask your doctor/midwife for advise.

I've heard good things about kendamil for gentle tummies if you opt for formula.

Positions take loads of practice. Has baby been checked for tongue tie? Mine aren't huge (30f) but I can feed (while sleeping now she can navigate herself) from either breast while side lying. I was recommended koala hold at her tongue tie cut at 4 days too. No chance of falling asleep while dangle feeding either, and removes the need to sandwich...

Do you mean reflux formula or carobel? I'm not sure this is the issue as she doesn't really show signs of reflux and I think she'd be way more unsettled if she had one

Thank you, I may give kendamil a try. And yes, she was checked for a tongue tie, she has one but very borderline, and she seems to be able to move her tongue very well so we were advised to leave it as is, as this doesn't seem to be the problem. I tried koala hold yesterday actually but she seems to be too long for my low hanging boob, even with the rolled up towel, I just find it quite hard to navigate my boob with one hand and her with another but I'm determined to keep trying

A friend of mine had a baby who would vomit up formula. She expressed milk to mix with the formula (don't remember exactly but might have been 70% breast milk 30% formula initially), then baby built up a tolerance to it. Over time she increased the amount of formula until her child could drink it without vomiting, after which she stopped BFing.

It sounds like your baby is doing, so you must be doing something right! All the best

I know what you mean, I used to pump off one side whilst baby fed off the other. So it wasnt like an extra Thing I had to do, as I was sitting feeding then anyway.

Presume you are pace feeding the formula? Have you increased the amount recently? Although a little bit of bringing up milk after a feed is normal of course anyway.

Thank you, I may give that a try 😊

Maybe could try doing that if I can fit the pump in between boob and baby 😂 and yes we're doing the place feeding and have slow flow teats etc, it's not spitting up a bit unfortunately, it's full blown projectile vomiting including coming out of her nose 😕

My daughter superior a lot when she was a newborn. Everyone was complaining of being exhausted and I felt well rested and relaxed. I didn't dare tell them! Within that though, was an anxiety that something was wrong. She was down on the 3rd centile too. Thankfully I could see she had wet nappies, her poo colour matched the chart for her age and her centile was the same across the board - rather than just weight. Turns out I just had a very easy going daughter. Breast feeding was going well but little ones struggle to open their mouths wide those first few weeks. Instead of focusing on latch, can you focus on amount of wet nappies and poo colour? That might help your anxiety. I promise, by 3 months your baby will have their latch sorted!

Slept a lot. Sorry!

It sounds as if you're doing absolutely brilliantly. She's still very young, so if you can hang in there doing what you're doing a little longer, she'll be going longer between feeds, so you won't feel so tied down. And she'll be awake longer-so be careful what you wish for!!

Honestly, what you describe is really normal. Try not to get too fixed on wake windows, there is no science behind these and it can vary so much. Both my boys were very sleepy babies and it felt like they just slept for the first 3 months, woke for milk then went straight back to sleep. After 3 months it’s like someone pressed a switch and they became more awake. That weight gain sounds brilliant and the fact she’s waking screaming for milk before going back to sleep is also a good sign. Soak up those cuddles on the sofa and binge watch some tv. If you find yourself getting more anxious then please do speak to someone.

Are you doing paced feeding with the bottle? Is baby being sick because she's drinking too much too quickly?
Honestly if breastfeeding is stressing you out then stop, you need to do what's best for you and your family.