Childfree movement flooding FB, YouTube and Feminist Politics causing me great anxiety

[Kiki1703]

I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my 2nd.

I was on the fence for a long time and then surprisingly got pregnant first try.

My firstborn is 8 years old so there will be a big gap.

Because I got pregnant so quickly my fears and doubts were not dealt with and I feel extremely sensitive to those who have chosen child free, one and done lifestyles…. As I was so close to being one and done.

So many of what is listed in the subs, such as: don’t have kids unless you’re 100% sure, there are zero cons to not having them, we only have the cause of society pressure, they ruin your life, they don’t visit you when they are old…. They could be born with lifelong disabilities… they drain your money, time and freedom. (To name a few) get in my head

When was the world so negative about having children?

Why do I feel that I’ve made a massive mistake?

I just want to be happy and joyful and excited about new baby girl but I feel like the world is so anti kids these days, it’s sad to see.

I feel like they are the ‘right’ ones and I’ve somehow even deluded and brainwashed by the herd.

It’s horrible to not feel convicted in my choice and I am worried will get worse when baby comes.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Any counter arguments to the huge child free movements out there?

Thanks in advance (pregnant and stressed mummy of two)

🩷🩵

This is massively unreasonable. Those of us who are childfree are made to feel like freaks, criticised and mocked, and that has barely changed over the last 30 years. The world seems to revolve around children these days, so I've no idea where you are finding all this material. But if you go looking, then algorithms will keep throwing up more of the same, so be careful in your online reading.

Have kids don’t have kids, I don’t care. I adore my kids, but I am all for this, I’m sick of people being looked down on because they don’t have or want kids. There are many people who had kids because that’s what you do… that should never have been parents!

It's all tied in with politics and pushed by bots. Don't pay attention to it - normal people have normal views and lives. I remember being told I was selfish for wanting a child when I was pg which really hurt, but then I had to remember, I get to have a child and that person just gets to be bitter.

Well the fundamental purpose of life is to produce offspring (from a biological perspective). That’s what every single living thing is trying to do. You’re not wrong for doing what you’re biologically wired to do. Don’t worry about it, different choices and neither is wrong. (Coming from a child free person)

The only two posts you have engaged with are you seeking hooks for another anxiety, ie what's it like to have an adult child, I better get worrying about that now.

You really do need to switch all this off and go see your midwife.

I would encourage you to talk to your MW about your anxiety and to log off from the sites that are bothering you- it is easy to avoid this stuff if you want to. Because you've looked at it, the algorithm is feeding you more and more...which in turn makes you think that what you're seeing represents reality in some way. But in fact it's just a bubble you've got stuck in because you're looking at this stuff online, no different from people who get sucked into conspiracy theories or political extremism. If you looked at my SM you'd think that the whole world was obsessed with keeping chickens and doing embroidery when in fact these are niche activities, whereas I've literally never seen anything on SM being negative about children because the algorithm doesn't feed me it. These sites make money by giving you more of what you engage with and presenting it to you as "normal", but actually it's only a very thin slice of the world as a whole.

The world isn't negative about having children- it's largely fairly positive. Some people don't want kids and that's fine but it's nothing to do with whether you should have a baby. These sites are literally designed to hook you in. Step away, talk to your MW or your family or friends IRL, not online.

There does seem to be a growing childfree movement. I suspect it’s linked to worries about climate change. Plus, of course, we’re overcrowded. In 1900, there were a billion human beings. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. It’s now eight billion. In Africa, where the birth rate is highest, the population is going to double. Most of the people I know who are militant about not having kids are also militant about saving the planet.

@BeaRF75 the UK can be really anti-child actually, compared to where I live now it's a stark difference. Disagree the world revolves around kids, although they are also human beings you know.