Would you let 13 year old fly UK to Japan unaccompanied?

[EmmaAnne68]

My DSS 12 wants to fly to Japan to see his Aunt. His mum has said this is okay, as long as he raises the money for the trip. (He’ll have just turned 13 at the time of the trip).

At age 13 we think he’s way too young to fly alone to Japan (he’s never even taken the bus by himself. . . )

The flights can be anywhere from 14 to 24 hours, and can have a couple of stops along the way. Plus he doesn’t speak the language.

Are we being unreasonable? One of my biggest worries is he’ll hate the flight to Japan, and not want to come home alone. Flights are at least £1200, so we couldn’t afford to fly over to bring him home if needed.

No it's fine. Unaccompanied minors are escorted through the airport and onto the plane then off the other end. They are only handed over to the nominated guardian.

Sure, if a) he's happy with it b) you can get the unaccompanied minor service on the flight c) he'll be met at the other end by a person he knows. If any of these can't happen, no. I'd have been fine to take a flight alone at 13. I'd personally have been offended by the thought of needing the airline to look after me but that's just teenage arrogance.

Yes, literally a very willing passenger actually. We are still in touch today (he flew last year). Close knit culture with very small community in the UK. He flew as an unaccompanied minor, so said willing passenger was a bit of company rather than baring any responsibility for him.
People are sometimes kind and helpful. Shocking I know.

Fair enough. Sounds like it worked out well. But as a general rule I think it’s risky to rely on the kindness of strangers in these situations. It reminds me of the people who save money by not booking specific seats on planes, assuming that whichever random adult ends up sitting next to their child will look after said child throughout the flight.

It’s mandatory up to age 11. Not mandatory up to age 17 but you can request from 12-17 for them to be classed as unaccompanied minors and get assistance from the airline exactly the same as for those allowed it 11 and under.

No, definitely not. We let our 15-year-old do a 2-hour flight unaccompanied last summer, but he's very well travelled, confident and sensible and with one, short flight and no stopovers there was a limit to what could go wrong. I wouldn't let him (now 16) fly alone to Japan, let alone his 13-year-old DB.

They are also given seats near where the hostess station is so they can keep an eye on them.

If it's a direct flight, yes.
If changes are involved, no.
Loads of times, my flight was delayed - I missed the connection - had to stay in a hotel, etc. It is stressful even for an adult to sort everything out, I can't imagine a 12 years old who never even took a bus alone would handle it.

Even if it's more expensive, you should have a direct flight booked. 2 changes-- no way!

Many airlines will have an unaccompanied minors scheme to see them through the check-in procedure, then an escort to the gate, and help at the other end at their destination .

I would, on the condition that once the flight is booked and paid for he cannot change his mind. I wouldn’t be worried about him being on the flight alone. It’s a good lesson in independence

Yeah, obviously we were not relying on the kindness of strangers. I didn't suggest anyone did. I was just relaying how his journey went.

Yes this is one of the main reasons I wouldn't do it, and more changes means more chance of something happening.

You remember the UK air traffic shenanigans grounding everything in the summer? We were sitting at the gate waiting to board our homeward connection when the news broke... It was lonnng and chaotic to get out of the airport and into a hotel (four full cancelled flights simultaneously scrabbling for passport control luggage and hotel bookings) and it was two nights before we could get home. It was stressful but manageable, but we were travelling as a family with two adults.

Obviously it would probably be fine. But the what ifs....

*Edit for terrible English. It is probably still pretty bad, but not as bad as it was🤦‍♀️

Don't airlines have a chaperone service?

Varies from airline to airline, some do, many don’t.

I have two teens, one that would fly it 😉, the other that would probably ring me from the plane if a stranger sat next to him. Personally I wouldn’t send either halfway across the world when things could happen that could throw an adult.

Yes I think that it would be fine assuming he isn't developmentally delayed.

I did multiple flights as an unaccompanied minor from age 8, although none with a layover. By age 13 he should be able to handle a layover though.

I went to boarding school from age 11 and kids would fly in from Asia all the time. Sounds a bit cheesy but children are often more limited by our expectations of them than they are by their own abilities.

My only hesitation is that from what you've said he sounds a little spoilt. The idea that he could just refuse to fly back is crazy. Can't you just tell him in advance that thats not an option and if he pulls that crap he'll be grounded for life?

depends on the kid but only on a direct flight and I’d start with the bus first

I’d expect him to be saving his pocket money though! Unless you are missing out something bit I don’t think go fund me is a good idea. why would anyone contribute? If he is very ill (I hope not) then it’s reasonable. But I wouldn’t be letting him fly on his own if it was.

They give support at the airport if there is transfers, will get you to the next gate. I'd say yes, with my child but know others may not be as confident. Ultimately though his mum has said yes, and you haven't said no- either that needs to be done now, not after he's raised the money (if he does) or not at all.

I flew alone from eight and there was always a connection, it was fine you’re with designated staff the whole time. Our son will be flying alone for the first time this summer when he’s nine, he’ll be looked after by staff in the airport and be taken to a specific lounge that all unaccompanied children are taken to, supervised on the flight, supervised by a member of staff when he arrives in the UK and delivered to a nominated person who has to provide photo ID. Then the same on the way back.

I think it would be fine.

Not sure where the OP is with planning this but another potential gotcha is the JAL/BA codeshare on the Heathrow/Tokyo route….

As has been mentioned earlier BA don’t offer an unaccompanied minor service anymore and don’t allow children under 14 to travel alone, so if JAL out of Heathrow is in the running care needs to be taken before booking to ensure the flight is on a JAL aircraft.

They've set up a Go Fund me page for a child to go on holiday? WTF !

Some airlines won't let him fly alone at that age

I would yes as long as it was a direct flight as an unaccompanied minor.

There are some theories that the child mental health crisis is partly caused by a lack of being able to learn about risk taking, especially through unsupervised play. I'd be keen to find ways for my kids to take on big challenges that involve managed risk.

A trip to Japan sounds like an amazing adventure, and a fab way to go outside his comfort zone regularly but within his Aunt's care.

For info…

https://www.travelguys.fr/en/2023/11/14/whats-the-difference-between-a-direct-flight-and-a-non-stop-flight/

If there is any doubt at all, don’t let him go alone.