why do some people, have kids and then moan about them all the time and begrudge them everything?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

like thay actually expect kids to be grateful, someone i knoe has thre kids and is constanly moaning how much hard work they are, never ever says anything positive or nice about them.

and i just keep thinking why the heck did you have three kids then? nobody made you?

Cos we're human and we get narked

Because it's hard and no one can possibly know how hard until they've had them.

Sometimes you only realise what a slog 3 children is a bit too late. I chose to have 3 but it's sometimes rather overwhelming. This morning I got to work and wanted to curl up into a little ball and rock gently, humming.

yeah but by the time youve had 2, you know what your letting yourself in for ?

Yes, you think, "how much more work can it be?"

but you can be wrong on that. Speaking with the benefit of hindsight.

how do yu know no 3 wasn't an accident
you are being very judgemental

as she told me number three was planned.

yeah well, that's like thinking you know how hard being a parent is because you babysat for your older sister's 9 year old daughter and she woke up once.

all of robin's threads are judgemental

move along folks, nothing to see here

I know of people like that, and I too wonder the same thing, but then, how am I to know that this all this parenting lark is just not turning out to be what they expected, or even that they may in fact be depressed and so making them always see the 'hard' instead of the joy...IYGWIM.

It is hard when you love you children, and sometimes maybe over gush about them (which I tand to do at times), to then hear someone constantly moan about theirs and be angry with them all the times. It is harder I guess for those of us to hear things like that when we have suffered losses of much wanted babies, but even with us feeling like that, doesn't stop those people moaing or finding things tough.

and if they didn;t have their children, who is to say they wouldn;t moan about something else???? some people are born moaners after all.

robin, are you okay?
You're not your usual mild-mannered self today.

wouldn't be so bad if she said something nice about them once in a blue moon, but its all moan moan moan.

i feel like saying you choose to have them ffs.

maybe you should just leave the friendship for a bit
she sounds like she annoys you quite a lot

Children are blardy hard work.

My way of coping is to have a whinge about them now and again.

(THEY know they're well-loved and cherished.)

And I do expect my children to be grateful occasionally.

So shoot me.

Because it doesn't matter how hard one child was, 2 will be harder, and 3 harder still... etc. Nothing is quite as you expected. I don't think it's ever possible to be 100% prepared for the hard work of bringing up children.

But I do agree that it's a shame if people seem to get no joy at all from their children. I think those parents are very few and far between though. It's just nice to get it off your chest sometimes. It would probably worse to be surrounded by a host of Pollyannas cooing endlessly about how cute and adorable their offspring were Not to mention a bit undermining for those of us who don't always find it easy.

Is it important how much hard work 2 or 3 or 4 are? Everyone has bad days, but as an adult one should be able rise above it on the whole so as not to kill off your childrens' self-esteem. Parents who carp on constantly about what they're owed and how much they do for their offspring perhaps haven't had their own parenting needs met.

I was brought up with a constant burden of guilt - with my alleged ingratitude forced down my throat on a daily basis. I don't have contact with my parents anymore and am happier for it. It's just bad parenting.

hi nicky im fine thanks just this person is irritating me.

just having a rant, sorry should of stated rant alert at the start lol.

Glad to hear it, Robin.

I'm inclined to agree with you robin.

It can be a bit relentless at times but it's not that hard, it's not like breaking rocks for a living is it?

I have 3, btw, and you can call me Pollyanna if you like!

personally i don't think you should xpct kids to be grateful for being born, nobody made her have three kids. maybe when she had two she thought oh well, one extra won't be too bad. i do take that point.
i just wish she could say something nice or positive once in a while as i feel its not far on the kids.

I had no idea how hard work 3 was going to be. Partly because I'd never had a child like ds3 before (he's very different from his brothers). And partly because I had no idea when I got pregnant with ds3 just how severely autistic ds1 was and how that was going to translate into bloody hard work in a way I had no idea bout when he was only just 5 (and I got pregnant).

I love all 3 of my children enormously. But sometimes they're such hard work they make my eyes water. And sometimes I have pressures from outside the immediate family which makes things even harder.

Sometimes i moan, so shoot me.

thats it though yurt sometimes you moan, not always, every day, every time.
and it must be alot harder looking after a autistic child as well.

maybe she moans to you so she doesn;t moan at them?

you;re not having a very kind day, robin - are you okay?