why do some people, have kids and then moan about them all the time and begrudge them everything?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

like thay actually expect kids to be grateful, someone i knoe has thre kids and is constanly moaning how much hard work they are, never ever says anything positive or nice about them.

and i just keep thinking why the heck did you have three kids then? nobody made you?

I ponder that question everyday with regards to my parents. Why have children then treat them like crap?????? If anyone does have the answer I'd love to hear it

I went through a period of moaning non-stop for 6 months about dd and hating her very existence, and I chose to have her-I was chronically despressed and didn't realise how hard a 4 year old was, especially not three of them! Maybe she has deep rooted problems that she can't share with you?

well if that was th reason mrs b
she moans to you so she doesn;t moan at them?

id actually think that was good.

but she doesn't she aways slates them in front of them. never says a nice thing bout any of them.

I whinge about mine a lot but when they're actually with me we cuddle loads and I work hard on their self esteem... it's tiredness, mainly,, plus I am a natural whinger.

Mum whinged about us all the time- she ahd lost several due to stillbirth (and one termination for rubella damage) and she was very depressed, i think, as a result. One would assume that she's be grateful, but depression doesn't make life that simple.

moaning is cathartic. it is what women do. It is the only way i survive most days moaning at and about them and then thinking how much i love them.

From the RSPB website about robins:

"In some cases, territory defence results in a fight, and it is not unusual for one of the birds to die of its injuries. In some populations, up to 10% of adult mortality is accounted for by territorial disputes.

The sole purpose of a robin's red breast is in territory defence: it is not used in courtship. A patch of red triggers territorial behaviour, and robins are known to persistently attack stuffed robins and even tufts of red feathers."

Step away from the confrontational bird.

lol thanks for that azul, that really has made me laugh
think i needed that !

sorry to be so agro, im not usually im just highly irritated this last week.

Oliveoil, if you come on here to be rude, why not just turn off the computer?

I know a few people like that robin. They are usually very negative in general. Does your friend realise that she is so negative about her kids? Some people need things to be pointed out to them ifkwim.

im not sure if she realises, i have thought of pointing it out, just feel its unfair on the kids.
do you think i shoul.d perhaps point it out?

i could jokingly say oh come on there must be something good about them?

no thanks, when I last looked this was a public forum so I will post what the hell I like

Maybe you should talk to her, Robin, but in a confrontational way... kind of ask if everything's okay because she seems quite down. Maybe there's something more going on if she moans more than most. Lots of us need to vent because looking after children is so full-on (esp if you have lots and/or they have sn), but if she's doing it in a way that might be unfair to her kids - ie in front of them - she may be suffering from depression or have had an unhappy relationship with her parents - or anything really.
Or, if you don't want to talk directly about it, you could try turning everything she moans about into a positive. Eg, if she said 'my ds is really bad at sitting still to eat his tea' you could say 'he's got lots of energy - it's good to see a little boy who's so interested in everything.' Either that will show her moaning up or make her see her kids in a more positive light.
I don't know - just an idea. I know that very negative people can be quite draining, though.

phlossie, im going to do that the
you could try turning everything she moans about into a positive. Eg, if she said 'my ds is really bad at sitting still to eat his tea' you could say 'he's got lots of energy - it's good to see a little boy who's so interested in everything.' Either that will show her moaning up or make her see her kids in a more positive light.

and if that doesnt work try and ask her why she does it

none of the kids havs sn

i will also ask her if shes ok too thanks for the post phlossie