moving house & school -leaving party/presents etc

[ernest]

We're moving in 3 weeks. Ds 8, 7 & 4

I said they could have a leaving party (horrors) any ideas, given I'm knackered heavily pg and hate kids (only slightly joking)

also quandary about presents for teachers.

I should get ds teachers and cm thank you present, right? One problem - ds2's 2 teachers have been amazing and wonderful and I'm genuinely very grateful to them. More than happy to get them a present - bottle wine? Other ideas?

Ds1's teachers otoh, I am really pissed off with. I feel they really let him & me down, have had countless problems with them. Glad to see the back of. So, how do I handle it re gifts? Def don't want to get them bottle of wine. mor like a dog turd. DOn't want to look petty by giving 1 & not t'other. But ds2 teachers been FAB, ds1's teachers been evil. SO - what to do?

And apart from giving (2 of the 4) teachers bottle wine, and leaving party, any other suggestions for getting 3 kids mentally ready for move, and settled into new place?

Ta

It may well be different, because your kids are quite a lot older, but my advice would be to make sure you look forward (to the good things about the new place), rather than focusing on the actual 'leaving' bit. We moved when dd1 was 3 (so obviously much less able to understand properly what was going on than your kids are - even the 4-y-o, I'd guess) and she got really upset by people at nursery telling her that they were going to really miss her, etc. She thought that she was making everyone sad and that it was somehow 'her fault' and in the end she got so upset that she actually made herself ill and we did the move with a very upset child with a high temperature (not fun!).

Re. the teachers... you're moving, so you don't really care what they think of you once you've gone, do you? In which case, I'd get the dss to make cards for their teachers (ds1's could say simply 'Goodbye' if he doesn't feel like thanking them!) and then just buy presents for the nice ones. If they compare notes... tough!

Good luck with the move.

oh no, poor dd!

My eldest 2 were really sad & ds2 esp tearful about the move. Tried to be really positive about it, then last weekend, we went and saw the new house for the 1st time, and they loved it, then we went to a nearby lake with good cafe and playground, and they had such a great time they suddenly can't wait to move Plus we visited the new school again and met the new teachers, so that was a positive experience.

Unfortunately I have promised them a leaving party (hideous, groan) so can't really not do it, but my idea of hell, and double the number of kids compared to a birthday party (as for the 2 boys) My mind freezes in horror, so dunno what I'll do, will have to be at home as won't have enough £££ or transport for so many kids. Ideas please evryone. I'm looking at about 15 to 20 6 - 8 year old boys (faint)

Hi ernest. I was just about to post something along these lines.
Dh has been offered a job in another city in Germany so we could be on the move again soon. Whatever you do, try to give them some sort of leaving party. We had to move in 4 weeks total from getting job offer to starting work the last time we moved and we didn't have time to do a party for the dc (or for us for that matter) and it was really hard for them and all so sudden - they were in a sort of state of shock for a month after the move.
I have an idea for my 2 dc - there is an old cinema that you can rent for afternoons near us which I might try to book - they do a tour of the old fashioned film rooms etc and then show a film - not very up to date ones but for dc OK. Sometimes theatres do back stage tours and childrens afternoons or museums. Could you find something like that? Then you would just have to get a few crates of drinks and some food (order party service?) which would make it easy on you.

admylin, cinema sounds like a great idea, but there's really nothing in walking distance, and no way to transport 20 kids, plus got no idea of anything anyway that not costing mega bucks with 20 kids.

you def moving? soon?

party will have to be in 2 weeks, so need to start a thinkin

So it has to be in your house? Have you not started packing everything yet? One leaving party I remember - (a family in Germany going back to Norway) and they just took the whole class out into the woods/forest for a long walk and played games and tired them out then back home for cake and drinks (baker made the cakes, they just bought drinks).

Yes, it looks like we'll be moving for sure but I've got 'til September so plenty of time.

Packing, what's packing? Nah, the removal company will do that for us, so not till the day or 2 before the move. I don't especially want to have the party here, but struggling to think of an alternative with 20 or so boys. The wood is a great idea and we have a couple within walking distance. Just not sure I have the bottle, energy or enthusiasm. Mind you, that's the same with anything. I suppose we could build a fire and grill sausages? I asked ds1 & he wants to go to a swimming pool. I calmly told him I am not taking 20 children swimming.

Any idea where your move will take you? Not to Munich?

Am scared of not giving a present to one lot of teachers but they really don't deserve it at all. I'd also resent giving them something. I was in this dilemma at Christmas, and chickened out and didn't give any one anything, then felt really bad, cos ds2 teachers are so great.

Oooh, live in hope that I get a removal company too this time! Doubt it though! We will be moving from Berlin to Hannover and dh still has to haggle over relocation budget!

I would say, make sure you've got all the documents you need from all the teachers like reports etc and then only give the nice one a present. You'll never see them again anyway!

Go to the forest, it'll be a great day out for the dc and I bet you can talk some ofthe other mums to come along if you tempt them with wine or beer back at the house

have put your idea to the boys, and they agree. thank you groan - 20 boys in the woods. I'm not allowd to loose any either am I? WTF do I do with 20 boys in the woods once we've grilled the bloody sausages? Sorry, I'm kind of asking to be spoon fed now aren't I

OMG that's going to be such a fun afternoon. Just have to pray for dry weather. Do you also provide contingency plans for wet weather?

Moving and no huge relocation/removal budget don't envy you that. grr on your behalf.

Treasure hunt? They could be in teams and try to find things like, say, a Y-shaped stick, 5 different kinds of leaves, stones in three different colours, etc.

You're not in Bavaria, are you ernest? Only it would be really funny a terrible shame if one of them got eaten by a bear.

Good luck. And don't feel bad about the teachers. You wouldn't leave a tip in a restaurant where you'd had terrible service, would you? I think people have got obsessed with presents for teachers. I am sure I never gave my teachers a present when I was at school. And I am a lecturer and have almost never been given anything by my students (an occasional card is about it). I want bottles of wine (or chocolates would do!)

No, theer will be a relocation budget or I'm not moving! The last move was the last EVER move without help. I was in pain for 2 weeks afterwards did back in, feet in and hands blistered no way!

Get some war paints for the dc (toy shop, dressing up section maybe) and you could split them into 2 teams. Each team gets different style war paint on face and send them into the forest to collect fallen branches, twigs and make a wig-wam style den each (lean the branches up aaginst a big tree trunk) then they can make weapons with sticks , take string, tape etc the competition between the 2 teams will keep them busy all afternoon.
If it rains I think you should go into pretend premature birth modus and cancel.

Oooh Elbell your ideas are much more civilized than mine! Treasure hunt would be great if you could send someone ahead and even leave clues to follow - ds went to a party like that once in the forest, it wa sgreat and the treasure was in a real wooden treasure chest in the end.

at admylin's wet-weather plan!

bloody brilliant. unfortunately, not Bavaria - yet. tho wold be interested to hear an explanation of the bear comment

love the hunt ideas. blimey, am in awe. seriously. hows about I pay your train fare and yo come and do the party for with me. I'll invite you back for as much beer and wine as you can drink after
fav idea is the early labour, but don't want to tempt fate....

That sounds like you're sorted now I've got all of 5 months to sort out our farewell do. Think I'm going to go for the old fashioned cinema place.

What made your dc start looking forward to the move most Ernest? Seeing the new place? I'm going to have to tell mine before I start looking so it's going to be bad I know it..dreading it. I suppose I can make the leaving party sound great though.

There was a bear loose somewhere in the wilds of Bavaria last year (?? - may even have been two years ago, not sure... we have friends who live near Augsburg and have been to see them a few times). Sadly, I think it got shot in the end as it was accused of having killed sheep.

Sorry... beer [oops, typed 'bear' then by mistake; I am clearly obsessed ) and wine sound lovely, but am going to have to pass on the party assistant role.

The sad demise of Bruno the bear

Quite , but am roffling slightly at the thought of him raiding a beehive. Am imagining him doing it Winnie-the-Pooh stylee, with a balloon... 'How nice to be a cloud...'!

I can still remember the leaving party we had when we emigrated to Canada in 1969!

My mum had a children's entertainer magician/clown.I was fab.

As for the teachers gifts I would just write a nice thank you note to the teachers you are grateful to.

We told ours back in July, when dh first got the job (originally Milan) ds3 then 3 was oblivious. ds1 just 8 was a bit shocked and nervous, but also positive, cos he likes exploring and learning new languages. ds3 then 6 burst into tears, didn't want to move, didn't want to leave his friends, didn't want to have to learn a new language etc etc.

Then it changed to Germany, so ds1 was a bit disappointed about not learning Italian after all, but everyone prett much happier and more positive about a German move.

We were originally going to move in August after the baby's born, but actually I found the slow build up was causing them more stress, like the sword of Damacles hanging over their heads. Then dh got the house within 2 days of being in Munich (about 3 weeks ago) so suddenly it changed to moving in April. The boys were initially upset at having so little time left, but at the same time, I think the imminent factor has conversly also removed much stress.

But yes, the clincher was going up this weekend. They really loved the new house, and kept wanting to go back and visit it. Then we went to the nearby lake and it was so warm and sunny and they had a great time, and just like that can't wait to move - love new school - everyone seems really friendly - everyday feels like a week etc etc. Phew. Honestly couldn't have hoped for a better reaction. And ds2 esp really cried a lot about it, and now they are really looking forward to it.

I've just invited their grandad over the weekend following the move, so they'll have him to look forward to, and I'll have a bit of help (childminding) while I can get on with unpacking.
Hope he comes!

Good luck. we found telling them really openly asap beneficial, tho poor sods have had a lot of messing around, from milan to munich and from august to april, but hey ho. and if my ds2, a real little Angsthase can be looking forward to it after so many heartbroken tears, I'm sure yours will cope too Not nice to have to uproot everybody (inc yourself) all over again tho...

It is difficult isn't it....moving away and wanting to do the right thing by everyone? Our last move was very stressful but my abiding memory, and that of my childen, was of walking through a tunnel of children holding sticks of seaside rock over us as an archway. We were moving to the seaside and had bought a box of rock as a leaving gift for all the children. It was a really, really sweet sight.

Whatever you decide, do something special.

morning morning.

I need to borrow you brains again.

So I've decided to get them each a little present. Not something I normally encourage, but t'would be nice for them to have a little summat. ds2 went on a birthday party to the zoo a coupl eo f weeks ago and came back with a water bottle with the zoo logo, so he's got something practical, that he uses regularly, but that also reminds him of his party and his friend. perfect.

so ideally something useful, not just plastic tat, cheap 'inexpensive' , and totally perfect would be for it to have a hint of britishness. does this exist?

Morning Ernest, I've also been trying to think of suitable presents. It's a hard one though becaus eit quickly amounts to big euros if you want something decent. When we moved klast time my dc's best friend gave them both a friendship book which was nice as they then took it to school and everyone wrote a page and stuck a photo in, they will use it here too as it isn't full yet. Was quite a nice gift you could maybe get your dc atleast. As for the other dc how about a little address book and nice pen and you could put your new address in already so they can keep in touch?

Ernest have you considered paying a couple of older boys something to come along to the forest and give you a hand (i.e. do everything)?

re-usefull leaving presents with hint of british. union flag pencils or erasers might be suitable. they went down very well with Janapesses kids couple of years ago.
www.fancythatoflondon.co.uk or
www.unionjackwear.co.uk/prodlist.asp?cat=Stationary both supply them.

I've got another idea for the teacher problem and it's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to get a really big hard to kill plant in a nice pot which I will find by asking at a gärtnerei which one will live longest/be hardest to kill and give one to each class teacher for the classroom. Might give the one nice teacher a bottle of wine with his plant but the other teacher just gets a plant for the classroom!

hi, the present problem is solved! (for teachers) my lovely ds1 came home yesterday with a black eye. It occured in Turnen. Why was I not surprised that she was the teacher "in charge" she didn't notice his injury, despite his tears, he didn't want to go to her, and came home in a lot of pain.

I know accidents happen, but it really is just too crap, the long list of affronts to my 2 ds's from her is arrgggghhhhhhh, so bollocks to it, I went out today and bought 2 bottles of wine, for ds2's 2 teachers and feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever. I kept getting flashbacks to the innumerable shitty things she's done to my boys this year (didn't check and locked ds2 in classroom, so he was crying hysterically, starving, dying for wee etc, meanwhile I'm at home going out of my mind cos he just didn't come home and was missing for an hour, wrote really shitty, nasty and 100% negative report for ds1 as a reference to the new school, constantly having a go at him for adhd-type behaviour, even tho she thinks he has adhd, and lots of others, but my personal favourite, was 3 weeks into school year, having him up for exclusion because she assaulted 4 pupils and tried to deflect the blame by saying 9 kids in the class were real trouble makers, even tho she admitted he wasn't even inviôlved in the trouble, but was sometimes 'lively'. ooh don't get me started on the mad old boot. So nope, no pressie from me. poor little sod's got a right shiner. luckily didn't break his (brand new, mega expensive) glasses ,

As for kids' pressies - no further foreward. Thank you so much for the suggestions - I haven't got time to oder on line (eg from brit site) as prob have to do party next w/e, looked for little address book/friendship nbook and didn't see any at all. Will maybe get a chance to look again tomorrow if my car is finished in garage.