Feel terrible about forcing my 5 year old to have a bath

[Turtleyturtles]

I handled/carried my 5 year old upstairs and feel terrible about it. Then at the top of the stairs I lifted him up under his arms and plonked him into the bath, washed him quickly, lifted him out and carried him to his room. He was screaming and crying. He was refusing to go in the bath because I said he couldn't watch his tablet while in the bath. His dad has been letting him. I hate myself for forcing him, I normally dig deep and find other tactics. I tried tonight but nothing was working and it's school tomorrow and he did smell. I feel like I crossed a line and worry our relationship is damaged. I wish I'd just left him downstairs and had a bath myself. He probably would have got bored and come to join me. Not sure why I am posting really, I just feel terrible, don't have anyone to talk to right now, and wanted to get it out.

Me too - now he’s 24 and brushes his bloody teeth for hours 😆

So it sounds like your DS doesn't dislike having a bath at all, but he's just come to associate it with screen time because unfortunately his father is an adult toddler incapable of putting others first and actually parenting.. It's a shame because bathtime is the one time I do NOT have any screen time arguments with my 7yo because it's soothing, relaxing and should be winding them down for sleep.

You should not feel guilty for parenting your child properly, even though it's tough, and hopefully it will get easier when Mr Lazybones has left the room. I second the suggestion of investing in some new bath toys. 7yo has several moderately challenging bath jigsaws, a bath marble run and an "ice cream" foam machine here and bathtime always lasts ages. I chat for a bit while cleaning the rest of the bathroom and then put some music on and sort laundry in the upstairs hall.

Nobody is ever going to be electrocuted by a tablet falling in the bath. Lithium ion batteries only output 4.2V when fully charged.

I'd be far more worried about a cheap Chinese battery catching fire or exploding due to the water causing a short circuit.

He has a bath most nights, I caught a whiff when I took his trousers off, just a typical 5 year old wee smell that can happen. The bath is part of his bedtime routine so I tend to to it regardless of whether he needs one. It's nice time for us to spend together and he's usually happy and chatty. I've tried showers and he sometimes has one, but normally prefers the bath. The real problem here is different values/parenting between me and my ex. Not an easy one to fix but will be easier when he moves out.

You were being a parent. Well done! 👍

As for ex having different rules to you that's fine, they'll view him as the 'fun' parent BUT when it comes down to it they'll feel safer with you with strict boundaries and when they have a problem it's you they'll come to and when they are older they'll know who put them first and set them up for life.

A good ol' dependable mum (/parent) working hard in the background with most of what she does going unnoticed is exactly what all children need.

Thank you, I needed to hear that. I think my 9yo already gets this.