Not walking yet

[Samantha1571]

Has anyone got any tips on how I can get my 17 month old to walk? He is very lazy and it’s quite embarrassing that he still can’t walk. He can stand up without holding on to something for a few seconds and he can walk along the sofa etc but he has a meltdown if we try and get him to walk. We will hold him up and try and get him to walk but he will just sit down and cry and shows no interest. So many people are judging us and I’m worried he will reach 18 months old and he will still be the same. I just don’t know what to do. Everything with him has been a battle and he is a very difficult toddler. There are so many other things he doesn’t do.

He is still within the parameters of normal.

I appreciate it's hard but you sound wound up and anxious about it and that definitely won't be helping either of you. Some kids are just later to walk.

It doesn't matter what other people think honestly.

When your child is 3 or 4, no one will be able to tell which child walked first, talked first etc etc.

However, if you have concerns about his overall development speak to your health visitor.

Maybe @Samantha1571 youre having a tough day and so perhaps you wouldn’t normally feel as worried about it. I very much doubt your child is lazy. Children develop at different stages and it’s natural for us to worry but we can’t pesssure them. 18 months is the time to worry about walking and even then it’s to get legs and hips checked. I would suggest doing that first.
then just stop putting pressure on it, encourage and keep it playful.

Respectfully instead of thinking about what other people think, why don't you look at what you can do to support your toddler

It’s when people constantly comment and judge because he isn’t walking and now me and my partner are constantly worried. I know he will eventually walk but I just don’t want people mentioning it all the time. I definitely think he will randomly start walking by himself

It'll happen. Do you imagine they still won't be walking by age 3? 7? (Obv assuming all is well with them physically)
One of mine was a slightly late walker (probably because her adoring sister delivered everything to her lap!) but I just kept putting interesting things on the sofa so she needed to pull herself up to get it.
When anyone said anything I just said "what's the rush?!" And changed the subject!

I was hugely pregnant with DC2 when DC1 finally decided at 17 months to get up and strut across the room to take a book out of another child’s hand. She was heavy and I was concerned that she would still be crawling when the new baby came along. Friend’s child of same age didn’t walk until days before her second birthday. Her mum was a cool cat about the whole thing.
Your DC will walk when he’s ready.

Why are you harassing your child about this and caring about what people think? My DD just started walking at nearly 19 months. I couldn’t care less if people commented I just said oh yes no movement out of her yet. I couldn’t imagine trying to force her to walk before she’s ready. Grow up! @Samantha1571

Mine didn't walk until she was 19 months. Did the "cruising" thing along the furniture and she had one of those wooden trolleys that you could put bricks in and would push it around - but wouldn't let go and walk independently.
We have a video of when she was pushing the trolley along and is holding on with one hand and having to stretch across with the other hand to reach her dummy - she just wasn't quite ready to let go and walk to the dummy.
Until....well....one day she did. Just let go and toddled off.
Your boy is fine. He will decide to walk when he is ready. Try to put items he will want (toy, snack, book) just out of reach from where he is and encourage him to go and get them.

There are so many other things he doesn’t do

Can you say what these are? Not walking at 17 months is still in normal range. But if there other things he’s not doing , depending on what these are, it might be worth asking your HV if you haven’t already. Is he at nursery? If so have they said they have any concerns?

My DS didn't walk until 17 months and 3 weeks - I remember panicking that the clock was ticking and he was never going to "get it" by the 18mo "deadline" so I understand your worry.

For my DS, it turned out that he was hypermobile, so it was harder for him to stabilise his joints to balance, hence the late-ish walking. He was referred to physio aged 3.5 as his knees still weren't well aligned. We did everything she recommended, not just the exercises but also a ton of sporty stuff that helped build muscle tone and stability (swimming was really good as was mini rugby when he got a bit bigger). He's ended up as a pretty average, reasonably sporty teenager. So, it may be that your DS has something similar and is just going to need a bit of extra parental support to thrive.

Can he walk if you're holding his hand? DC2 could walk a fair bit holding my hand by 15 months but point blank refused to take any independent steps (other than for chocolate, which we tried at around 17 months to see if he would) until 20 months. He's now 6 and a fast runner and very sporty. But he does seem to be somewhat frightened of heights and falling (I noticed he was very slow going down a steep hill the other day compared to other children) so perhaps he just didn't want to fall over. Once he finally started walking he didn't have any of the crashes and bangs that attended both DC1 and DC3, both of whom started walking at 12-13 months.

My 18 month old only started walking a few weeks ago and now he's running about the house chasing his sister and causing wonderful chaos. He got so good at shuffling about balanced on his knees I don't think he really has any interest in standing up properly to walk. Then from him starting to walk until today we couldnt

Sorry, pressed post before I finished ..
Couldn't get him to wear shoes so I couldn't let him walk outside. Then all of a sudden today he was toddling about with his shoes on. They do it when they're ready, don't worry.

My son walked independently 18 months on the dot. He held our hands for months before, we were getting worried too. Then he took off. His first independent steps was around 30 steps. Like a pp said he never or anything. Just didn't go to he was sure he could

Your child isn't lazy. The reason he has a meltdown when you try and get him to walk is because he can't do it yet. Just like if you put a 4 year old on a bike - they haven't seen a bike before in their life, they'll cry because they don't know what to do but more importantly because they haven't developed the balance etc to succeed. This isn't any different.

If he can bear weight that's really good. But he's not going to start walking just because you feel embarrassed. Encourage the cruising, put things on the sofa to and prompt him to stand up to reach things. It'll build up eventually. My ds2 didn't walk until he was nearly 2, due to hypermobility. He bum shuffled instead. As soon as he was walking he was off, he hardly ever wobbled etc that I had with ds1 when he walked at 14 months. He's 6 now and you wouldn't know any different.

When you say people are judging you, what are they judging you to be? Why are you embarrassed - do you genuinely think your toddler's ability to do things is a reflection on you? In what way? I think you really need to have a look at how these kinds of thoughts keep coming up as they won't help you or your child.

I doubt he's lazy. He's a tiny child, he's not refusing to do things because it'll piss you off. Please don't see him as the enemy, he is totally dependent on you as his parents.

I can’t ever imagine labelling a toddler lazy and difficult or being embarrassed because they aren’t behaving acceptably. It’s not wonder he’s crying!

If it reassures you in any way, my childhood neighbour walked at 22 months - had a load of tests but found nothing and she just got up and did it one day. She also needed speech therapy. She was a late bloomer, she is an international human rights lawyer now. We know now that she is an extremely cautious person who only does things when she knows she is going to nail it!

Please don’t label him lazy or try force him to walk. It won’t help. I walked early and I’m just a very average person now and nobody even remembers how amazingly advanced I was at 11 months! It really doesn’t matter.

Anyone judging a toddler or its parents around not walking (or not doing anything else) is really not worth your time/worry. Try not to worry, he will do it in his own time. When people bring it up maybe have a phrase ready to respond to shut it down like "all babies are different, he'll do it when he's ready, there's no rush". Mention it to your health visitor if you're concerned, and then try to put the worry aside and enjoy where your child is at right now.

Give him a break, he's fine and he'll do it when he's ready and not feeling under pressure.

Molly Mae Hague made an idiotic comment recently that her daughter is 'behind' because she is not walking yet at 14 months. What utter bullshit and doesn't help people either.

I'm with you on this. The language used to describe this child really doesn't sit right with me. And as for persistently holding the poor thing up to force them to walk to the point of tears is bordering on cruel. Just leave the poor child alone. Why are you punishing your child like this, just because of what others might have said about their development. Your role as a parent is to advocate for your child. So tell them to shut up and love the child you have. As @Loveofmine said, grow up. Your child is not the problem here

My second didn't walk.till 21 months. It was a bit of a pain as she was getting quite heavy having to be lugged around by then but it wasn't laziness or anything we got annoyed about. She just took her time. This isn't something your child is refusing to do or you should be cross with him about.

I have said many times before my now 10 DS didn’t crawl until 18 months and then walked at 22 months. I will admit it was worrying watching the babies around him crack on with moving while he just sat there but at no time did I put it down to laziness. I was told that babies are either talkers or walkers and to an extent that was true DS was having great conversations by 18 months.

Its hard not to compare but as long as your Health Visitors isn’t concerned, just watch and wait and I am sure it will all balance out. I very much agree with other people’s comments when I see all the kids come out of school now you can’t tell who did what when.

I was 19 months my sister 18 months and my 3rd son was 19/20 months prior to walking. I never had any comments or judgment though? Ignore people he’ll walk when he’s ready and he’s not lazy he’s just a baby