Is it wrong for ds to be in nursery if I have day off?

[cheekymonk]

Hi Everyone, hope you are all ok.
Hvae just come off phone after long conversation with my Mum. She said that she can't get her head around the fact that I put ds in nursery when I have a day off work.
These occassions are usually when I have been on a 2 day course for work that have meant I have put ds in nursery for 4 days that week instead of 3 (Course have been on a non working day and nursery will not swap- have to pay for extra day).
She said that it is no wonder he is so tired and grumpy and that 0 to 5 is an age to be cherished and I will regret it when he is older etc etc.
She lives 3 hours away and no other family around us, dh is in navy so non negotiable usually for time off so nursery is only option. Is it so unreasonable? Should I keep ds at home with me if I am perfectly well and able to look after him??
My mum questions why I need such a break from him, especially when god forbid I am resting rather than cleaning house etc.
Any thoughts would be really welcome....

Wow, thats great that so many of you have responded to post, thank you x
Interestingly, only one person seems to agree with my Mum - I did think it might be more so am relieved really.
This year I have had about 4 days I think which is more than normal because of my course. I have one more 2 day event to go and then that is it.
Mum and I really aren't getting on well. I am in the doghouse for telling her the wrong day when dh travelled down from Scotland in the car. She had been worrying all day thinking we were home that evening when it was next day. She thought I deliberately lied. I am just fed up of being answerable to her. I am 29!!! We have such a complex relationship (like most mums/daughters). She said that everyone else thinks she is a good mum apart from me. I have thanked her for being a great mum when we were small but we are so different and it has been harder now I am older.She regularly says no to us visiting. I am not sure how I can move forward from her judgemental ways. She feels she can't say a word but I just wish she didn't think so negatively in the first place.
Ds loves nursery in any case, I am actively involved with its events etc and have real confidence and trust in the staff.
I have told her that dh and I do our best. She nags for dh to leave navy as it is damaging to ds. We have enough guilt without that. My only conclusion is just to withdraw a bit really and as I said, tell her less!

I agree with the general consensus - no, it isn't wrong. I do it myself too because sometimes you need a break.

Ignore your mum, none of her business.

cheekymonk - maybe you could try explaining your decision to your mother in other terms?

I think that your mother thinks that if you didn't work, your DS wouldn't go to any kind of pre-school/nursery but would spend all his days at home with you. Hence her belief that if you are at home for the day, he should be with you there.

How about explaining to her that even if you didn't work, your DS would be going to pre-school/nursery for several sessions a week as that is now pretty standard parenting practice? Ie your DS' life outside the home is independent of you working (even though his sessions and your work coincide for obvious practical reasons)?

Thanks Anna8888, thats a good point. too.

and i probably didn't read all the thread properly

nothing wrong with keeping your dc in nursery if you have a day off, I used to do it all the time when DD was in nursery - all the time to shop! Lovely. I picked her up happy and refreshed.

Firefly you are soo right (oops, just noticed I am reading 1st page, posts from Saturday!)!

My mother can just f*ck me up with the tone of her voice when I say sth about my parenting that she disagrees with. She was just the perfect parent, and thanks to her perfect discipline we were the perfect children (that'll be why my brother (aged 30) treats her like shit now, then, and why one word from her over the phone can rob me of sleep and logical thought for the next two weeks).
I am very slowly learning that what was right for her is not necessarily right for me and more importantly my kids. But it is very very hard.

And as for the OP - there is nothing wrong with it at all. As long as your child is happy in nursery, if you are more rested you will be a better mum when you are together