How often are your toddlers unhappy

[leavesandsleeves]

How often do your toddlers winge/cry/scream in a day?
3yo and 1.5yo twins. We're so worn down. I can't cope. How do other people manage

It feels like every moment of every day at the moment

I was in the supermarket earlier and was thinking about this. I'm constantly the parent dragging a screaming demon child out of public places, including supermarket. I don't think I've ever seen a toddler tantrumming in a supermarket.

I'd say probably 6 decent tantrums a day, sprinkled with almost non stop whinging in between. She's going through a difficult stage right now.

At that age absolutely loads for DC1. Not that much for DC2.

DC1 is now 5 and still has I would say 1-2 tantrums a day. DC2 is 2 and probably also has around that amount. He's much less emotional and intense than the eldest.

You've got 3 under 4 OP. I can't imagine it! Even if the toddlers were perfectly behaved, it would still be hard. You deserve praise and admiration and more breaks by the sounds of it. Can you arrange for a bit more time to yourself to recharge?

My three year old very rarely has tantrums these days and only cries when he's sick or has hurt himself. Not sure why he's this way. It just seems to be his nature 🤷🏻‍♀️ Can't say there's anything in particular we do to keep his moods settled except perhaps firm boundaries and offering choices where possible so he feels like he has some control over his life but that's nothing unusual in terms of parenting.

We're well aware of how lucky we are. I'm fully expecting number two to be a nightmare 😂

I feel like I bribe or negotiate all day every day with my 2.3 year old 🫠

Some days none, some days every single word that comes out of DS1s mouth is whinged.

I was actually thinking about this today. My first DS was very low maintenance. He was generally happy and never moaned about anything. God I didn’t realise how lucky I’d been until DS2 came along.

He’s 2 and moans ALL.THE.TIME. My older DS calls it a ‘fake’ cry. I’m not sure how else to describe it. I’m so overstimulated. I feel bad at how much relief I feel when he goes down for the night.

Even my parents have commented on how unhappy he is. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong!

I’ve 6 yr old and 3 year old and it’s all the time atm. They are catching everything going. I have to remind myself it will be much better when the weather improves.

I have a 6 year old and 3 year old twins - it's a non stop merry go round of whinging crying arguing fighting then crazy happy zoomies then back to whinging and crying 😂

I find the noise levels very triggering - it just feels like I'm never alone and it's NEVER FUCKING QUIET good job I'm now a single mum and don't have to listen to their dad moan and whinge too 🤪

Why would you count?! That way madness lies.

Mine is generally happy, except when I'm ignoring her while getting ready or when she's after a treat snack. But I have just one to look after most of the day (older dc at school) or at the weekend DH and I are taking charge of each child. So she's spoiled with attention and we spend the days taking her to fun activities, so she doesn't have much to complain about.

Today's protests were...

We found a pen lid but no pen to put it on while tidying up.

We finished a lunch catch-up with friends.

DC was asked to do something at swimming class.

There was apple juice in the cup. After DC had specifically asked for apple juice and watched me pour it.

DC wanted dinosaur pyjamas, not unicorns.

So, yeah, we spend a reasonable amount of time lying on the floor screaming. DC has just turned 2. Yesterday's Protest of the Day was because they wanted to cuddle a pigeon but the pigeon wasn't up for it.

My 3 year old is the most chilled out kid. I'm not sure why - he's always been so easygoing even as a baby. He's full of life and energy but is so even tempered, even his pre school have commented on how happy he is, all the time. He rarely cries and rarely gets upset.

I suspect he's an easy first child and as he will be our only, he gets all our attention and has an easy life. I reckon if we'd been able to have a second it might have been a different story!

Ps - he def doesn't get his temperament from me 😂

A 3yo and 1.5yo twins?! Whatever about the children, I know I'd be happy pretty much never. That is bloody hard work.

We have a two year gap (just the two DC though) and we found 3 and 1 to be the hardest year by far, it was really tough.

Just hang on in there, I'm sure you're doing a brilliant job.

(Oh and at those ages my DC were happy unless we needed them to do or stop doing something, or unless they were sick. So pretty much always unhappy.)

Countless. I've also got 1.5 year old twins and an older one. My husband gets so stressed by the twins moaning etc but I think I'm immune now. He says about how difficult the twins are. But I think it's just because there are 2 of them. So double the upsets. Also they wind each other up. They fight over the same toys, drinks food etc. Although they do also play lovely together and love wrestling but this ends in a huge fight. Then older dd gets involved and it results in 3 upset children! Only things that I try are

• Distraction
• Ignoring if appropriate then reward good behaviour
• Try to support joint play which I lead and supervise
• Getting out the house, they are always better when out
• If all fails then a cuddle and dummy

On average about 376 times per day woth dd (3). Currency there is absolutely nothing that I meet her strict targets on. Today alone I failed multiple times to read her mind about food choices which resulted in huge meltdowns.

I also disappoint her daily by insisting her teeth are brushed and that she wears clothes.

This afternoon I looked at her teddy. That was not meant to happen and she screamed and cried for 25 minutes

*currently

I can’t even type tonight as I’m so exhausted by the daily screaming / crying / meltdowns 😭

DS2 (2.5) is a glass half empty kinda kid.

Nappy change
Getting dressed
Ending activity
Tiredness
Rain
Having to do something he doesn't want.
Having to go somewhere he doesn't want.
Bath (oh my ears!!) but loves swim - hmmmm
Daddy doing something he wants mummy to do.
Mummy leaving the room/house.
Certain toys.
Getting shoes/coat on.

The possibilities are endless.

No amount of cajoling or redirection is helpful.

One day he won't be 2 any more - I live for that day! 😂

Gosh reading these stories are really making me appreciate how good we have it with our son 😱 I think he's had maybe three tantrums in his whole life. On the rare occasions he gets cross he'll sulk instead.

Hats off to you all! I don't think I'd be able to cope with what some of you describe.

How old is he?

Just after 2nd birthday it was pretty much constant. Kicking and biting and scratching got really draining, no one else got this behaviour just me. Little one had been a good sleeper and then started getting up every couple of hours. I remember that there was a point where it was difficult to go anywhere because as soon as we were 100 yards from the house little one would be lying down on the pavement hollering. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with it but being potty trained and acquiring more language really seemed to help. Probably lasted about 6/7 months and then calmed down. It’s blissful now tbh, apart from when we leave soft play!

@Snugglemonkey Nearly 3.5.

Oof that is lucky. DS1 was a high needs, high input toddler, but as long as his needs were met he was exceptionally good natured, sunny and gorgeous from age 1-3. I couldn’t understand what people found hard about the toddler years.

Thank goodness age 3 to 4 has absolutely humbled me eh

@VivaVivaa Oh dear 😅 Maybe four will be the undoing of us! I'm 30 weeks with number two today so have no expectations of getting another unicorn 😭