How often are your toddlers unhappy

[leavesandsleeves]

How often do your toddlers winge/cry/scream in a day?
3yo and 1.5yo twins. We're so worn down. I can't cope. How do other people manage

Oh dear, I'd brace for impact on #2

My mum insists I never tantrummed even as a toddler. I'm sceptical, but I was certainly an easy child and teen. (Awful baby though.)

I do have a younger sibling though...

@ColleenDonaghy Yes I was an easy baby/toddler but my brother was a nightmare and is the reason we don't have another sibling 😂

I tell myself that it’s just a phase. 14 month gap between my 1 year old and 2 year old. My teenager was just always chill so I got off lightly there.
Sometimes I want to just scream will you just chill out and stop moaning over everything, but that wouldn’t be a good example so I scream internally instead. Outside the house everyone tells me that I have such smiley happy children

This threads are so helpful because it makes me feel normal - it feels like its only ever my kid who is screaming at the top of her lungs on the bus, or when she lays down and refuses to move in the middle of a bloody shopping centre.

We normally get two big ones a day - pretty much always at bed time for sure.

Its getting harder now as shes 3.5 and shes a tall strong kid and I cant just rugby carry her out of a supermarket or into nursery anymore.

My MIL always says DH never had a tantrum, her little golden child. Drives me bonkers!

@BlueMonday1977 seeing other parents struggling in public makes me feel so much better. Gives me a feeling of ‘it’s not just me’! We’re going through a phase of DS2 not wanting to use his legs so we get a lot of stares at him lying in the middle of the supermarket aisle 🤷🏻‍♀️

An older lady walked by the other day and said ‘I’ve been there too’ and it made me feel better.

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old.

4 year old was lovely until we hit terrible twos which we never recovered from. He still has lots of meltdowns now, however he is autistic.

17 month old whinges all day every day. He is very high needs.

@Snowdrop80 your 17 month old sounds the same as my 2 yr old. He’s non-verbal still so I’m really hoping that once he starts having a few words he’ll stop being so unhappy. He’s unhappy in the car, in the pram, at home… it’s exhausting! The only time the whinging stops is when he’s getting 1 on 1 attention.

We have had so many small acts of kindness from strangers lately during meltdowns, it's restored my faith in humanity a bit!

Generally I think people are just grateful it isn't them dealing with it!

Oh absolutely! I will admit I do a bit of staring at toddlers having public tantrums but it’s always because I think ‘thank god it’s not mine for once!’.

2.5 year old doesn't tantrum and is mostly happy. He has his toddler moments of course.

But it doesn't matter. Even if he was the demon spawn of satan, nothing will compare to 3 children under 4 years old.

You're a superwoman OP. I hope you have nursery/partner/family support. I'd be putting in earplugs if I were you. Just something to take the edge off the worst of the whinging!

Friends have a 4yo and 7yo. On Saturday the 4yo was crying/tantruming at various points through the day - because his older brother came up with rules for the game they were playing he didn't like, because it was lunch time, because it was dinner time, because it was bath time. Whinged saying "I'm still hungry" multiple times after being being a snack and eating it, an hour or so before dinner. Was eventually given a bit more snack. Then didn't eat much dinner. Later whinged "I'm hungry" after bath time. Also demanded apple juice at one point, was told he could have some with dinner. Screamed. His mum said okay I'll get you some. Screamed several more times it wasn't being done quick enough. Kicking screaming tantrum when his dad tried to get him dressed after a bath as "want mummy to do it".

Frankly at the moment he's pretty rude and demanding a lot of the time, gets reminded to ask for things nicely and not to scream at people but it doesn't seem to be sticking yet.

@givemushypeasachance
When they get to that age I do wonder if it’s become a habit for the child. It works for them. Many times as a parent you’re so overwhelmed and tired it’s so tempting to go the easy route and give in to the child to prevent a big tantrum.

I remember years ago carrying a kicking and screaming DC out of a playground and I did get quite a few dirty looks and glares. I try to give other parents of young toddlers a reassuring smile so they don’t feel judged. Inside I think thank goodness it’s not one of mine kicking off.

My eldest was totally chilled most of the time by this age. But she'd get VERY upset if she was hurt e.g. a fall off balance bike that resulted in a skinned knee you'd have thought would require hospitalization from the screaming.

My twins though... they are 3 now. One is INCREDIBLY whingy. Bit worried it may just be his personality. Food that is not exactly the way he wants it is rejected. Then he gets hangry. Honestly ear plugs are probably the only solution.... preschool teacher is also finding him difficult.

DC4 is the easiest baby ever in temperament. Long may it last! Hopefully she'll be one of the chilled toddlers rather than another screaming demon

You need to be careful with this one - I did the sympathetic smile once but my 2yo was at home and I was heavily pregnant so the poor mothers definitely interpreted it as "My PFB will never behave in such a way".

I think it would be easier to answer the question “how often is my toddler happy?” 😂

He cried at pre-school the other day because they didn’t have enough potatoes for seconds. Which in all fairness, I do understand 😆

Mine is 2.5 and never seems happy to be at home. Especially during the week after nurseries, she is so tired and cranky and won't play with her toys, just follows me around whinging. She is absolutely fine when we are out and about though. It's like she saves it all up for when it's just the 2 of us at home...

I can tell from the minute she gets up how the day is going to go. Sometimes she opens her eyes in the morning and immediately gets cross and I internally cry because I know it doesn't bode well for the rest of the day...

I'm convinced the weather doesn't help. My DD was a dream yesterday when it was lovely and sunny but today she's as miserable as the weather again.