Thought breastfeeding was going great - apparently I was wrong!!

[Freddie15VES]

My little one is 17 days old and still 100g below her birthweight

We ebf and she always seems content and full but health visitor isn’t happy with how slow the gain is even though she is gaining and wants me to start expressing/bottle feeding

I feel so deflated like I’ve done something wrong

I want to ebf I don’t want to start introducing bottles into the mix 😔

Just feeling like I’ve failed massively

Feel like I should just move to formula and take the stress out of it

Awww, what a sweetie!

Surely the most important thing is that your baby is healthy and gaining weight.
don’t feel like a failure for introducing a bottle or 2 to help LO grow!

@Mumof2girls2121 she doesn’t need to introduce a bottle. Formula now won’t help with establishing breastfeeding. HV are obsessed with percentiles and scales are not always precise.

They told me twice I had to top up, I never did and have a very healthy toddler now,
who just took a bit longer to regain is birth weight.

@Freddie15VES congratulations. Your baby is gorgeous.

Gorgeous! Look at those cheeks 😍

Oh she's lovely, OP!

Find your local la leche league they are amazing

The baby is fine on the breast.

If mumsnet let you like or 💕a post I would for that squishy baby pic.

I think some times the HV and medics go with the opposite of what the mother is doing.

I have the opposite where they always adjust the goal posts for concerning slow weight gain. My daughter dropped to the 9th percentile and followed that. I questioned it and was told she was just a 9th percentile baby. Nope she was 25th-50th percentile baby with food allergies. Her weight plateaued. It's fine it's not as if she has dropped a percentile. She dropped a percentile it was ah yes but she hasn't actually lost weight just gained the bare minimum for 4 months. It all has come out in the wash and I have learnt the ebbs and flows of my daughter's weight. I feel that if I was not worried about her weight I would have been made to fret more and the fact I was expressing concern they doubled down on the she's fine when the reality was something in the middle.

I would also like to express some love for HV and aside from the above I have had very good HVs over the last 3.5 years and owe them my health wellbeing and sanity in very dark days. I know the advice can be patchy and my friends in adjacent towns have had different experiences too me but there are good HV there too.

From what you've said, there doesn't seem to be a massive issue OP. "Catch down growth" is a real thing. I had one very small baby who gained weight very rapidly, an average one who gained weight averagely and a whopper who was a slow gainer. They are all adults now and all about the same size! We did see a paediatrician over growth concerns and she told me that the intra uterine environment is a major determinant of birth weight and whilst we tend to assume that babies are born on the centile that they are "meant" to be on that is not always the case. They can in fact be bigger or smaller than they are genetically intended to be in the long term and so catch up or down after birth. A content baby who is weeing and pooing regularly sounds like a healthy baby to me.
However, given that concerns have been raised, I think it would be sensible to call one of the helplines or an IBCLC and talk to someone (or even better, see someone) who can do a full assessment and hopefully reassure you. Even if there is absolutely nothing to worry about, once that seed has been sown it can start to niggle so getting another opinion might help, even if all it does is reassure you and give you your confidence back. Your baby is beautiful and it sounds like you're doing a great job to me but I don't think it would do any harm for you to talk things through with someone in real life.

Hi,

If you are happy breastfeeding continue and just offer breast as much as possible. My son weighed 9lbs 8 at birth and lost 12% of his birthweight in that first week. It took just over 4 weeks for him to regain the weight and I as a new mum felt under so much pressure at regular weigh ins etc and thought that I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t. It just took him a little longer/ he was a big baby/ I’d had a lot of IV fluids during the labour etc. He suffered from a bit of reflux. I’m glad I didn’t stop and fed him until he was over two. My daughter was exactly the same weighed 9lbs 12 and lost 13% of birthweight in that first week But was feeding fine. She regained by 3 weeks. But I was far more confident in knowing my own body and refused to feel under pressure by health visitors. I just went to weigh ins and politely listened. But carried on feeding constantly. I’m still feeding her now and she’s nearly two. My advice is to listen to the advice and check for signs that your baby is well/ healthy wet nappies etc and feed feed feed. Pump or use a hakaa if you want to try giving baby more breast milk from a bottle if it gives you peace of mind.

Obviously if baby starts losing weight/ not gaining or if there are other signs that they are not healthy then look to the professionals. You might find La Leche league helpful for advice or local breastfeeding groups.

Absolutely this! She's talking an absolute load of rubbish. I would ask to be referred to breastfeeding clinic if your local hospital has one, they are really helpful.

Ask hlHV to put the scales on a hard surface IE wooden floor or table/worktop.

Update!!!

went to the hospital for repeat urine sample and the nurse there is actually on the infant feeding team

she said the HV shouldn’t have weighed her on top of carpet, weighed her again and she’s actually 4160g…she’s called and spoke to the team as she found it awful that she was trying to put me on a feeding plan when it’s obvious we’re doing so well. She’s been jaundice and has a uti so considering all that she said it’s amazing how well she’s doing

Update!!!

went to the hospital for repeat urine sample and the nurse there is actually on the infant feeding team

she said the HV shouldn’t have weighed her on top of carpet, weighed her again and she’s actually 4160g…she’s called and spoke to the team as she found it awful that she was trying to put me on a feeding plan when it’s obvious we’re doing so well. She’s been jaundice and has a uti so considering all that she said it’s amazing how well she’s doing

Fantastic news!! Well done you and your baby.

Excellent news! Well done you and baby!

That's very good news!

It does demonstrate how useless HVs are though.

Brilliant news!! Round of applause for your boobs!

Oh thank goodness for that sensible nurse. You must be enormously relieved!

Great news!

They are, it doesn't make sense that the HV did the weight check. Community Midwives are supposed to do this (mind you, they are as bad).

Hey - I called out about the carpet thing yesterday! 😀Not all midwives are useless (and not all HV are either). But yeah, I see a lot of babies being weighed with the scales on the carpet and a lot of poor bf advice. Hopefully the nurse ringing the team will get them thinking about their practice.

But also midwives discharge on day 10 normally which is why the HV comes after then.

Brilliant- and gorgeous! Glad you found some solid advice from the infant feeding team.

Yes, I agree.