Thought breastfeeding was going great - apparently I was wrong!!

[Freddie15VES]

My little one is 17 days old and still 100g below her birthweight

We ebf and she always seems content and full but health visitor isn’t happy with how slow the gain is even though she is gaining and wants me to start expressing/bottle feeding

I feel so deflated like I’ve done something wrong

I want to ebf I don’t want to start introducing bottles into the mix 😔

Just feeling like I’ve failed massively

Feel like I should just move to formula and take the stress out of it

Once baby is above weight (or you're happy) then reduce amount of time you express.

For example- I use to express for 25min to begin with but as she got better at nursing- I only expressed for 10 mins, and then reduce further. It doesn't take long to regulate milk supply. I don't express at all now and never suffered from mastitis or painful engorgement. But obviously this worked for me. Do what you think is best- but just giving my side of the story where expressing does help in that it keeps supply up and baby fed until baby "learns".

Exactly this. I have a 6 pack of Kendamil ready to drink which I got for the birth at hospital just incase and as soon as the HV left I was ready to crack it open and be done

I had a similar experience. Lots of pressure from MW, HV and Drs. Honestly think the stress ended up impacting my milk supply. I had to combi feed which was bloody miserable.

Don't give up, if you can afford to please see a qualified lactation consultant and get their opinion. Wish I had done so: lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/

I spoke to one afterwards and they said I sounded like I was fine and needed no intervention.

Don't express.
Don't give bottles.

Just breastfeed. And be confident.

If you're enjoying breastfeeding and not in pain, it suggests it's going well. Just to get her off your back and get the weight up can you just focus on enjoying being in bed with the baby for the next few days? Watch box sets and have loads of skin to skin contact and feed as much as you can get them to do so. My first used to fall asleep midfeed, is that a problem at all? Used to have to undress her and tickle her feet to wake her up to get her to continue. Wake them at night too just for now if they're not waking regularly for feeds. Really good luck and hope it goes well

ive been getting painful engorgement and it seems to be something I struggle with! Which is why I’m wary about pumping 😮‍💨 it’s all so confusing

Absolutely this. You were doing fine and felt fine before, you still are and should carry on.

@TheShellBeach
It worked for me. It's not foolish- it is a recognised way to help establish successful breastfeeding. This advice was given by a qualified lactation consultant .I did it with my first and breast fed for 2 years and did it with my second for 18months.

As I said- it's a method that may or may not suit her. Some people express easily some don't.

I'm giving the OP options

It takes around 4 weeks for your milk to fully regulate. There's pros and cons about pumping before then. I've breast fed and mix fed two now. I found that doing a power pump session once or twice a day helped get things on track supply wise.

You dont necessarily need to introduce a bottle either if breast feeding. BM can be frozen and then used for baby cereals, purees, teething pops etc once baby is older. And, having a freezer stash may come in handy in the event of illness or not being available.

Have a look at kellymom.com it's an American site with American guidance but full of super useful information.

Both of mine took a good 3 weeks to regain their birth weight. As long as baby hasn't lost more 7% and is gaining steadily, I wouldn't worry about it. Unfortunately, it sounds like you have a by book HV. life and babies don't always work like that.

If you do introduce a bottle make sure to use one with the slowest flow so baby doesn't get use to getting volume quickly. Might be worth also looking up paced feeding in case.

Good luck and enjoy these sweet sleepy milky days. They don't last very long and HUGE congratulations to you and your partner x

Both of mine were very slow gainers - over 3 weeks.

What worked with DC2 was the advice to put her to the breast every 2 hours from 8am-8pm to stimulate production and then feed on demand overnight.

A lot of HVs don't understand how breastfeeding works. Many of them are suspicious of it. It's very unfortunate that your HV has now planted a seed of doubt in your mind.

You had a big baby and a rocky start. Your baby is almost at birth weight. Don't panic if it doesn't happen when the HV things it should.

If you're getting six wet nappies a day, your baby is getting enough milk.

But in this case breastfeeding is already successfully established. OP doesn't need to do anything different and expressing at this point is just unnecessary.

Thanks, I’ve just messaged someone local to me to ask about pricing etc

You may but your body will reabsorb the milk and eventually regulate. Sometimes you may need to hand express or pump a bit off to calm them down.

What will they do on Monday if she isn’t at weight though? I don’t think I can mentally cope with anymore negativity on the subject!

Exactly. The OP doesn't need the chaos and work which pumping and bottle feeding entails.

Her baby is successfully breastfeeding.

I'm sure there are plenty of very good health visitors but in the course of having my three children I never met one 🙈 my approach was generally to nod and smile at whatever nonsensical advice they gave and then carry on regardless. I found very few of them seemed to have much clue about the reality of breastfeeding or how breastfed babies gained weight.

If your baby is happy and content between feeds, has periods of seeming alert, is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, and is gaining weight (even if it doesn't match an expected graph) then personally I wouldn't be at all worried!

My baby took almost a month to regain her birthweight and she was formula fed 🤷‍♀️.
Honestly if baby is settled and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies I wouldn't stress.

Is your baby having lots of wet and dirty nappies? Alert when awake? I'm sure yes to all of these. Keep going, you're doing great.

Nothing. They can't make you do anything.
You've lost confidence thanks to your HV. It's a disgrace, actually.
I'm doing my best to encourage you to keep on feeding at the breast, and to stop worrying about your HV.

Larger babies often "catch down" and actually drop down the centiles. They were heavy because our placentas "fattened" the up.

All mine were very large at birth, one very much dropped through the centiles and was always very slim.

@Freddie15VES if she's gaining weight and following whatever centile line she's currently on then even if she's not at exactly birthweight then all they'll do is continue to monitor.

You've got plenty of time before Monday. Just directly feed as much as you can, and as hard as it is, try not to let the stress that this HV has caused get to you.

All of this. "I'm happy with how breastfeeding is going, thank you. She is gaining weight and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies so I'm going to carry on. I'll be in touch if I feel I need any more advice".

It’s working!!

Youre all making that 6 pack of Kendamil look unappealing right now 😂

This. Sounds like you are doing absolutely brilliantly. Keep feeding.