This has bugged me so much and I just can’t work it out so wondered if anyone could understand it!
When I split with my ex he had a 3 bed house and as soon as we split he told me he would start renting out the rooms because he “would need to give me money for the children” yet I have never seen any of this money, and as it’s through renting rooms cms can’t touch any of it and it just comes up as he is unemployed/ no maintenance. He has never once paid anything towards the children from renting his rooms out which is what he claimed the purpose of it was. However due to this it’s also meant that he has never not once had our children overnight or at his house since we split because he’s “renting out his rooms so no space/ not appropriate.”
Why would someone deliberately create a situation where they are unable to have their children at their house or overnight? It means he also barely sees them because he has nowhere to take them and he doesn’t fancy hanging around on the street with them or paying for expensive days out every time he sees them. Of course anyone could guess it would be difficult to have nowhere to take your children. He doesn’t drive so talking them around isn’t easy and most separated parents have their children in their home. So why would he intentionally do this? He isn’t claiming he doesn’t want to see them before anyone suggests that’s the reason he claims to be desperate to see them and desperate to be a father but can’t because he “has nowhere to take them” so why would he create this situation that is his own doing? At first I thought it would be temporary but it’s 7 years now and he is still doing it with no plans to change things.