How do your non sporty girls spend their time?

[chocolaterevs]

DD would happily sit in the house, more specially her room, all day every day. She's 12. I'm at a loss now as don't feel like it's particularly healthy in terms of lack of sunlight, exercise etc. The elderly and retired get out more!

She will leave the house to shop but finances dictate that is only once a month. Screen time is limited so I don't think I can even blame that. When screens are removed she just draws at her desk. I do force a daily 30 min walk but her preference would always be in the evening in the dark rather than on a gorgeous spring day.

Everything I suggest - animal park, pottery painting cafe, art class, cinema, lunch out - is met with a big no.

Her sibling has a full and social life due to sports.

What can I do?

Would she do something like a theatre class? Can she play an instrument that she could play in a band/orchestra? Choir?

Has she written off all sports?

If she likes drawing, would she like photography?

This was me at that age…and is also me now at this age 😂
I genuinely think some people are just inside people. I still prefer night. I go for my runs/walks only after the sun goes down, I never really enjoyed sports; sitting or doing activities in the sun is my idea of hell. Too bright, hot, you have to put sunscreen on, everyone is everywhere… Night is peaceful and quiet. Time seems to stretch on. I’ve always felt more awake and alert after sunset, If anything it just reinforced my idea. If I have a weekend off I still prefer to just stay home. Someone forcing me do do so as a teen was never a good idea. There wasn’t anything wrong with me, I just liked different stuff.
If you’re worried perhaps introduce a multi-vitamin with Vitamin D and make sure she has lots of books!!

Mines are a bit younger (9) but they do a musical theatre class. A young archaeology class (great fun they set up crafts and explore with metal detectors. Also do ballet but that might count as a sport.

My dd is 13 and not particularly sporty. She does enjoy going out with me to do other activities...like cinema, pottery cafe, shopping, bowling. At home she watches TV, makes jewellery, crochets, reads and also cooks/bakes.

DD isn't sporty due to a genetic condition but she does do archery and enjoys it. She much prefers being inside where she can draw and read or knit.

I've spent a lot of time trying to convince her to come for a daily walk, but she hates it. She will do it when it's dark. Like a pp, she doesn't like daytime.

Things that get her out of the house and moving around:

Going for a walk/picnic with her friends.
Going to a museum or art gallery or a historical site (usually free). With us or friends.
Volunteering.
Going to a talk about something obscure.
Music events.
The library.

She also likes to get on the bus and go and take photographs of ruins.

I definitely am aware that this is likely who she is. I just think there's a potential for negative consequences whilst transitioning through to adulthood. Hopefully I'll look back one day and think I shouldn't have worried so much. Tbh I'm a homebody too, and it has led to low mood at times when I get in to a spiral of closing myself off from the world. Already on it with the Vit D etc!

How did you get her started with crochet please? DD has expressed an interest in that.

She is reading quite a bit and I could definitely try harder to get her into cooking and baking.

Mine did:

Music (played instruments at home and were in a band)

Crafts (also at home).

If you are concerned about exercise then it may be worth trying out some stuff together - although if she is happy to go out in the dark etc maybe there are elements of being ashamed of her body? Can be an issue with teen girls

I tried to teach her but I was useless! She actually taught herself by watching videos on YouTube.

I never liked sports.
Cooking and sewing were my thing.
Been a chef for over 40 yrs now.
Parents made me take an outside sport I did judo and hated it.

She won't join any clubs. Has a mental block now to joining anything new. In the past she's tried guides, swimming (completed all levels), art, gymnastics, football. I really wish I'd tried harder when young with netball, tennis and horses but she won't entertain any of those now.

She does enjoy drama at school so I should try to look into that and see what she says.

She doesn't do too badly in PE and I think she has found some of it ok but she absolutely will not entertain doing any outside of school. I'd just love her to have somewhere to go each week - either sport or drama. Just something outside of school.

We did try for a while but it never stuck. She isn't the type to look at her surroundings and think 'oh what a nice view to photograph' or 'what an interesting building'. She's actually never really shown much interest in the world or her local environment.

Mostly running around the house like a nutter and licking her bum.

My girl is a cat.

For a social thing you can do inside - Dungeons and Dragons.

Oh yes. DD plays D&D a lot. She hosts at home, goes to a club, hosts online quests. She also likes Warhammer.

Ok, tell me more about D & D ? Is this on the computer/PC?

Lots of good suggestions. Just also to check, do you have any concerns about her mental health, or any signs of bullying etc? Just worth considering there may be drivers beyond her just being an indoor person. Could be worth a quick chat with the school to check if they have noticed any changes in behaviour/anything concerning.

I've already had her doctor check her bloods for any issues or deficiencies (all clear) and had a meeting with the school who have no concerns whatsoever, but have made a note on her file and will let me know if they spot anything.

Friends do seem to come and go, so she does have periods where she sees a friend most weekends, but then there are periods where she doesn't socialise outside of school (now).

I could have written all your posts. I was actually going to start a thread because neither of my DC appear to have any solid interests outside of school and absolutely refuse to join new clubs. I will be following with interest!

Mine spends her time with friends doing makeovers, chatting, watching movies etc. lots of sleep lovers and visits to each others houses. They go window shopping when funds are low and try out testers in shops, look at stuff in Primark etc. she’s tried various sports but none have stuck. She will come for an occasional family walk and does a joe wick’s workout at home sometimes.

@PandaChopChop Yes, it just worries me as I have one child who does lots outside school and I see how healthy and happy they are leading such a full life. I worry that my girl will depend too much on validation from a boy or sink too deep into a relationship (or worse - drink and drugs) if she has nothing else going on. Yes I'm probably overthinking!

@chocolaterevs that's good. I'm sure it is just her current preference, but worth being mindful. Girls in particular can be very good at hiding issues.

There is a difference between active and sporty. My dd I would say is the former. She loves doing things but isn’t excited about being in a regular team sport. So fine.

At age 12 liked swimming at the water slide place with friends; going to those aqua park inflatable things at our local lake; ice-skating with friends; paddle boarding and kayaking; tree-climbing and scrambling on rocks; occasionally indoor climbing or bouldering; hiking/ following a mapped hilly trail; walking our neighbour’s dog; and looking after her pets (requires cleaning out a large outdoor aviary daily). She also quite enjoyed a short bike ride if not raining or too hot. She also liked cadets and a martial arts class where she learned to use nun chuks. She hated dance and Zumba and theatre and park runs.

Did you consider if air/army cadets appeals? It might be a good way to do DofE too when she is old enough.

Sometimes I could interest her in DIY projects, or in helping me dig the garden and plant vegetables and then being responsible for the watering. But sometimes not.

My daughter is 15 now and has never been interested in sports. She did a few activities when she was younger but gave them all up by age 10. Looking back, she didn’t love any of them but just went along with others. She became much happier when she gave them up.

We have gym equipment at home so she’ll run on a treadmill and do some weights. Could you get her some light dumbbells to start? Would she do any YouTube workouts?

I was going to suggest vitamin d but you’re already doing that.

I wouldn’t worry too much, my daughter is really happy and says she would hate to do more stuff, she just likes a lot of downtime. She loves art, reading, playing with our dogs and just chilling out. She’ll go to the cinema or theatre if there’s something good on and she chats a lot to us so we’ve just accepted it’s who she is.

I was similar as a child and now I do sports and running so I did get more active as an adult.