How do your non sporty girls spend their time?

[chocolaterevs]

DD would happily sit in the house, more specially her room, all day every day. She's 12. I'm at a loss now as don't feel like it's particularly healthy in terms of lack of sunlight, exercise etc. The elderly and retired get out more!

She will leave the house to shop but finances dictate that is only once a month. Screen time is limited so I don't think I can even blame that. When screens are removed she just draws at her desk. I do force a daily 30 min walk but her preference would always be in the evening in the dark rather than on a gorgeous spring day.

Everything I suggest - animal park, pottery painting cafe, art class, cinema, lunch out - is met with a big no.

Her sibling has a full and social life due to sports.

What can I do?

I have 4 DDs. One was always active, all the hobbies under the sun. she’s an adult now and she runs and is always busy!
The others have varying levels of activity. My 13 year old reads constantly. She has a good group of friends and occasionally goes out with them but is content inside, reading and listening to music.
12 year old plays games and spends time with friends. They’re both happy and lovely girls and it’s their choice how they spend their downtime.

If she has tv and consoles in her bedroom then it's no mystery why she would rather spend her time in there.

My own bedroom had a bed in it and that's all, so i spent all my time out.

I don't think it'sack of sportiness that is the issue here - my daughter loathes sports, and loves gaming and watching films and drawing and reading and phoning her friends and other sedentary things, but she is ALSO very happy to go for trips out to the cinema or the zoo or cafe or shopping or to walk the dog - whatever..... She also does Guides and that involves trips, camps etc. (God bless the Guide leaders - truly amazing women!)

I think what struck me in your post is that your daughter doesn't want to go out at all, even to the cinema or a cafe - so it's not lack of hobbies so much as positively not wanting to do ANYTHING - even things that are easy and just involve sitting when you get there ....

Has she said what it is that puts her off about the activities? Does she feel self conscious in public for example? Or does she feel tired all the time, something like that?

There are loads of reasons for it so I am not trying to alarm you at all - I am sure she is fine - but it's worth exploring.

A couple of questions:

• does she have friends, and is she willing to go out to see them? If not, does she keep in touch with them in other ways, or only see them in school?
• if you said to her, I have £100 to spend, we can do anything you like as a treat - what do you think she would pick? Trying to get at the root of what her passions are.....

Sorry, I somehow missed what you said about friends.

That is more of a worry I guess - she does sound possibly a little isolated. Does she chat to any friends on-line do you know, or game with them or whatever? (If you allow this, which I do though I do of course try to monitor it closely as well).

Send her to the local shop to get something (pint of milk, loaf of bread etc). That will get her outside (maybe).
Not everyone wants to be outside "doing".
I have always been happy to "go for a walk" but wouldn't have wanted to do specific activities at her age - I wanted to stay in and read/draw/sew/build Lego etc.

My DD is out and about all the time

DS like to stay at home

Fantastic post. Not everyone competitive sport. Doesn’t mean they wouldn’t like some other physical activity.

I always hated sports. So glad my parents didn't try and force activities on me. Always found my own ways to amuse myself at home.

Mine goes to an Art Club, Scouts and plays percussion in a band. This is all pretty recent thing. She did play football until 18 months or so ago, but her team folded due to no coach, and she did spend a lot of time sitting on her bed FaceTiming her mates. In the summer she plays cricket.

She has no devices whatsoever or tv in her room. She has tv downstairs and phone to use for art tutorials and keeping in touch with friends.

Do you send her to holiday camps? They can be a good way of trialling a lot of activities without signing up to a specific club.