What does your "child admin" look like throughout the year?

[safari111]

I am taking my DC (2&3) for their first dental appt this week, and it got me wondering what other parents do in terms of "child admin" throughout the year and how often? It might not be the right way to phrase it, but for example, dental appointments, opticians, haircuts, that sort of thing?

Would love to just get organised and be a good parent really!

My daughter is 3.5 and has two paediatrician and a dietician who she sees every 3-4 months. She sees the dentist every 3 months. HV periodically
We have 2-4 food reintroductions to try every 3 months in between dietician appointments.
She has 3 different medications to manage repeats for with different repeat frequency. She also has to have a multivitamin due to dietary limitations so need to make sure we don't run out of those.

Our nightly routine is something like this. Home from nursery 6pm large snack/small dinner with medicine 1 and multi vitamin. 6.45 medicine 2 which has to be 20-30 minutes before her evening glass of oat milk but can't be taken at the same time as medicine 1 which has to be taken with food. Medicine 3 is mixed into her oat milk. She sometimes needs a 4th medicine before bed if she is having a reaction so that the itchy doesn't keep her awake and a cream rubbed on any rashes or dry/irritated skin. Upstairs at 7 teeth and PJ's followed by glass of oat milk & story followed by mouth wash and tooth paste is rubbed on to her molars to protect them from reflux through the night. Then sleep between 7.30 and 8. It's a juggle to get everything in the right order and not have restrictions collide. As well as keeping an eye on reactions and a mental note for the duration and if they are getting better/worse.

She has weekly swimming lessons and once she is 4 we will probably add a second activity. All of the nearby options don't have classes for under 4s. We are fairly rural

For me with 2 dyslexic children it's also figuring out where they're struggling and planning homework that helps. And eldest also has ASD so it's anticipating school activities that will need extra prepping (find videos for school trip, talking to teacher about likely struggles, remembering ear defenders), meetings with teachers and professionals, advocating for support, sorting private therapy and tutoring...

I am also a motherless mother, OP. I get it. I didn’t have much care or support as a child and suffered from neglect then both my parents died very young. I had to learn how to do all these things and often they were a surprise. It’s still a surprise to me when I manage something and it often triggers a little bit of anger that it wasn’t done for me or that I can’t ask my parents about it.

I never got the simple things that would have made my life easier as a kid, like I had to carry huge bags up and down to secondary and walk around the halls with my dripping outdoor coat for five years just because my parents didn’t get it together enough to respond to the letter about getting a locker at the beginning of year 7 and then they were all allocated. All my friends had cute little backpacks, looked put together, stashed their coats and pe kits, had little mirrors in their lockers and met up at their lockers throughout the day, went places after school. I smelled like wet coat, used PE kit and five hour old food cooked in home ec that morning. Every day for five years. One letter.

I didn’t get to go on the school trips, I didn’t go to clubs or get help with my homework or get taken to the dentist or hairdressers or opticians so, not only do you have to learn to do these things, you have to learn that these things actually exist, accept that they are for you and not just for other people, and bite down a lifetime of being laughed at enough to actually ask the questions you need the answers to.

Dentist- they scheduled it, just book in at the end of previous appointment

Haircuts - 3 a year for DS, DD hasn't had one yet

Shoes/feet measuring - every 6 months now, but 3 months when younger

Appointments- both have SEN, so a couple of appointments a year, plus phone calls to chase up/arrange appointments & reports to read after

DLA- 40 page basteding form, official every 2 years, but actually more like 18 months as it takes so bloody long

EHCP - regularly meetings & phonecards to sort out initially, but now down to just annual review in person, plus phoncalls/emails every couple of months as things come up

OT referral/ pre-referal plan for DS - been working on that one for nearly a year, including 2 sets of 12 week interventions I had to plan, document, then review. Finally accepted onto waiting list to see OT

Swimming lessons- rebook every term, including changing time/day if they go up a level

Rainbows - pay half-termly, plus badge sewing and additional outings

School transport- make sure DS's still on council list each year, usually new people to get to know, keep numbers for, arrange to cover any holidays as DS wouldnot cope with cover person & buy presents for each Xmas & summer.

Teacher gifts - Xmas and summer, also for 1:1's

School days - children in need, Red nose, comic relief, pta casual cloths - something most months x2 Schools

Homework - reading nightly, maths & spellings weekly

Cello practice - 2-3 times a week plus lesson & ensemble

School trips - 3-5 per year, pay, pack lunch, remember if it's uniform or casual or outside gear.

I recommend finding an app that lets you log dates and then you can see how many days passed since that date.

On mine I have so many - last time I bought child X school shoes, last time we had the boiler serviced, last dentist trip etc. That way you can quickly tell how long it's been since whatever.

Hair cut - 5 year old about every 6 weeks. Toddler hasn't had hers cut yet.

Dentist - every 6 months and I book the next appt at reception straight after the appt.

Shoes / uniform - as and when needed.

Eye test - as needed (can't remember when off top of my head)

There is a nearly new kids clothes sale near to me that runs every 3 months and I try to go to it every time.

I forgot kids parties.

Every time I get an invitation for a kids party I have to contact the parent and find out what food is going to be provided and by whom. It takes a least two phone calls with the venue to find out what is going to be served and have the ingredients crossed checked against my daughters allergies and a further phone call to see what alternatives they can put together (sorbet in place of ice cream for example) and what I need to provide. If it's the parents catering guiding them through which supermarkets have safe ingredients for example my daughter can't eat bread from Sainsbury's but can from Aldi or Tesco. Some ham is safe others are coloured with paprika that's she's allergic too. Direct them to the safe cakes but I have a stash in my freezer if they can't find them.
On the day making sure I have all bases covered. Sweets and chocolate hidden in my bag incase of unexpected food. Often there are sweets hidden between layers of the pass the parcel so they need switching out for safe ones when my daughter gets them. At a party at the weekend they had a pinata and chocolate fell out. Thankfully I did have a bar of chocolate with me so my daughter was given that before she even noticed everyone else was eating fredos. I always get brilliant heads up about food being offered for lunch and the birthday cake but these mid party treats never get mentioned. It's an extra mental load on top of the card and the gift!

I have Sen kids. Kid admin is daily!

Two kids. Millions clubs and stuff. I do admin most days

Disabled child... endless rounds of admin, he has a whole bookcase for his paperwork alone. 4 appointments this half term, all requiring lots of follow up.
Also got 2 teens going through A Levels and looking forward to uni etc.
It's neverfuckingending.