What does your "child admin" look like throughout the year?

[safari111]

I am taking my DC (2&3) for their first dental appt this week, and it got me wondering what other parents do in terms of "child admin" throughout the year and how often? It might not be the right way to phrase it, but for example, dental appointments, opticians, haircuts, that sort of thing?

Would love to just get organised and be a good parent really!

Try having a kid with sen - diagnosed at 2 so dozens of appointments with a newborn and a boisterous non verbal toddler. I've never been able to work full time due to the appointments and paperwork, and got sacked from pt jobs too!

Grown up now though still sorting her life admin!

I also don't have my mum to guide with this and was a boarder so the "rules" were never clear to me. Dd is now 13 and although it varies for age purposes I do:

Hair cut - every month or 2 if short (above shoulders) or 4 to 6 months if below shoulders

Sight test - Every 2 years or longer if optician says so unless they need glasses = more regular check-ups

Dentist - every year - (they message to say if one is coming up and always book after each appt for the next time on the way out)

Nails cut every 1-2 weeks

I pay for Benenden Health so we get 24hr GP helpline as I've struggled to get through to my GP at all - £15pm but not like normal health insurance so you have to pay for 6 months before you can be referred for tests privately, although GP is 24hr from the start.

I have a wall chart and every month I will measure her which helps to see if she might need new clothes.
I also have a foot measure thing so if she feels shoes are too small or has grown upwards I double check feet too

Weekly checks homework is all done - I do by day as her school messages me what is coming up.
Check uniform still fits (as above)
Try to keep on top of friend's birthdays/presents/sleepovers
School WA/School emails every day (far too frequently!)
Any £1 for cake sales or dress ups etc
Clubs/extras on a weekly basis - remember to warn in advance if you have holiday booked
Lift shares or help if others can't make pick-up
Weekend play dates and parties
Try to keep on top of bedroom/toys - yearly clear out to donate to charity at least 1 bin bag
General keeping an eye on present and card cupboard to make sure there are age appropriate things for their friends and mine

I tend to take care of DS stuff as my job is more flexible than DPs.

DS has opticians, hospital, doctors, dentists appointments that I tend to sort out.

Haircuts, he gets his cut more often than me so it can be the case I'll take him with me every other month and DP takes him inbetween.

More regular is sports and music three nights a week, I'll do two of the three. Sports on Saturday and Sunday mornings that we both do.

Usually DP has time off in school holidays but DSs school have been messing about with them so I took a few days off last week to spend time with him.

School forms (two trips coming up this year, school clubs, out of school activities), booking parents evening slots, attending sports days, school sports teams etc. are usually down to me.

DP usually sorts out school uniforms as she has a period of time off work in the build up to him going back. We both buy clothes, shoes, sports kit as and when needed. Or better still for birthday or Christmas!

We just do what's easiest for us really, I'm pretty sure one of us could do anything the other one couldn't.

Honestly I thought my parent friends were exaggerating about the number of emails from school, but sometimes I wonder how anyone can work full time and keep up with them! (Ok, slight exaggeration).

My recommendation is to put every date school give you straight in to a phone calendar (or family wall, or whatever you use), with a relevant reminder set (day before for mufti, two weeks for dress like a Victorian orphan day). I don’t open school emails until I can also enter the dates, and I go through newsletters with a fine tooth comb !

Similarly, I put everything in my calendar - my working days, term dates, etc. So that I can book a dentist appointment six months ahead and already see that it’s a day I’m due to work from home, or that it will be in half term. Obviously this depends on your life/schedule!

Otherwise..

• dentist 6 monthly, book the next appointment when there
• opticians, annually once they start school.
• vaccinations etc easier because they’re done through school

Would 'childwork' or child related work meet with your approval? How about housework? Or are you not happy with that terminology either? Keeping a house vaguely tidy is also life, still requires a bit of effort; going to work is also life and requires a bit of effort too. Or do you think raising happy, well adjusted and confident children requires no more effort than popping them out of ones fanny?
Maybe you had the Luxury of being a SAHP?

Yeh kids are bloody exhausting op, it's pretty constant even at secondary,
especially if you have a dc with SEN. Dh and I have just gone through the rota of who is doing what and when for this next half of term. In an attempt to make sure 'just life' runs as smoothly as possible in the seahorse household. Of course it doesn't require military precision, but i loath stress and rushing around like a blue arsed fly, when with a bit of thought and organisation it can be a calmer household, with no forgotten kit/ books/ food tech ingredients/ dance / drama costumes, rehearsals / music instruments and dc know which days to get the bus and which days they get picked up for various appointments etc etc etc
I like the fact my dc make their own social life, they just have to check I'm free to be a taxi for them, then send me a diary confirmation, so I don't book anything else in!

Oh God how long have you got

2x birthdays

School organization for them both

Summer camp ( live abroad)

Ds does scouts and basketball

DD doesn't do an activity at the moment

DD dermatologist appointment

DD just had podiatrist appointments too

Usual haircuts/dentists

Oh yeah, homework too

And project based stuff for ds, who is older

When they start school they can start having eye tests.
The dentist will tell you if it's 6 months or a year. Ours won't let you book that far ahead so write it in the calendar.

It's effing primary school that's the bulk of it.

My advice is put things in your calendar and or on phone reminders as soon as you are told it read it whatever. Set reminders for a week and a day before for all the feckjng fancy dress world book day chazza robbing nonsense that's coming your way.

The good news is once they go to secondary it all stops. Dd2 is in year 6 I can't wait.

Once they are at school you get told about jabs anyway

This.

It's ridiculous the amount of times you see on Mumsnet 'I deal with all life admin'

Agree with @NewYearNewCalendar that putting the term dates or holidays (I have a red bar for all holidays with the date written on the title e.g Half Term - 12th to 20th) so you can see the dates at one glance. Do this at the very start of the year every year (put a reminder in if needed). Has saved my bacon many times being able to see this at a glance!

@fabio12 sorry to hear that, and thank you for taking the time to write a long and insightful answer! Really helpful ideas. I generally struggle with organising and procrastinate a lot, so it's really good to have an idea of the school years, going forward. Though it does daunt me now that I've read all these replies 😬

@NewYearNewCalendar ahh! Calendars and emails are not my forte. Amazing that you can actually keep on top of it! Think I have little choice but to buckle up!

You'll be fine and reminders can always be set at the same time you put a new date in (I do a reminder 2 days before birthdays for e.g).
It all works its way out and you can't remember everything, but hopefully some things here might help.

Sign their reading record daily. Weekly at senior school. Check and sign planner once a week at senior school. Log in to parent pay once a week for each child to add dinner money and pay for clubs and trips. Each school sends a daily digest of messages rather than the 5-6 every day they used to, so scan that daily to see if there’s anything I need to do. At the moment, world book day need a project and a costume and there’s raffle tickets to sell.

Parents evening, twice a year per child, needs booking - at senior school you’ve to see 8-10 teachers so need to book each. Clubs - each needs booking, paying for and subs etc sorting. Usually half termly. At our primary you have to put your name down early for clubs as they book up fast and they rotate the kids that want to go half termly so it can be hard to keep track of who has football on Tuesdays until 4.10 and who has dance on Fridays until 4.20 but then six weeks later, they have band practice on Mondays till 4 and board games club on Wednesdays till 4.15.

It absolutely does not stop at secondary. I get just as many emails from them and there are endless parents meetings up at school about standards and revision and choosing subjects and supporting your child’s study and the upcoming opportunities and the school trips and the proposed changes to the school day and the building of the new science block and so on. The senior school sends me live text messages throughout if my children get demerits. And want me to log in every day onto their school interface to check the amount of merits/demerits and check ones to say my dc have done their homework. Dear god, the homework. This can drain hours from your life every day. Primary and secondary.

We’re on three different payment plans right now for D of E and residentials which have different payment amounts and dates each month.

My oldest has multiple hospital appointments which usually take a whole day each. Opticians for an eye test every two years for two of the DC and every six months for the other. Eye test is one appointment, glasses check and fitting is another appointment usually about a week later so it’s more than one visit each time. And that’s assuming they don’t lose or break their glasses.

(OP you should really get an eye test as it’s not just about needing glasses but to check the health of your eyes. Like you go to the dentists for a check not because you have a toothache - eye tests are recommended every two years).

Dentists twice a year. Repeat prescriptions need ordering and collecting for three different medications currently. One has physio monthly but needs to be reminded to do physio daily.

Logisitics of getting all the children to their places, trips, clubs, matches and parties etc is always a fun one.

Different logins for each child for for reading eggs, mathletics, spelling shed, school dojo, google classrooms. Their subscriptions to magazines, science and craft boxes and kid newspapers.

Mobile phone contracts for each child and setting up reaonsable safety parameters on them which keep changing as they get older. I get emailed a screen time and safety report each week telling me what they’ve been looking at and how much time they’ve been online. When they want to download an app I get a text message and I have to log in, decide if the app is suitable (on very little information, unless I want to spend yet more time researching it) and give permission. Checking their phones and devices regularly to make sure they are safe online.

Also fill out forms and pay for things as soon as you get the email/request and save in your calendar, then move the email out of your inbox so you can find if necessary. If you do this routinely you can be confident you've paid when a reminder comes some 2 months later 'for those that have not paid (without bloody saying who has paid and you can't remember that far back...)'.

Also if you have a partner put half of it in their name - eg dentist reminders go to their email - and they are fully responsible. My DH gets all school emails and access to the payment system, and takes them to the dentist. He's in charge of swimming lessons. I get the emails for all the other clubs and activities (loads) and do haircuts and opticians - and uniform and shoes.

For one DS Who is five and in year one:

Hair cut once every school holiday. I send him down to the barbers with his dad and they get it done together.

Dentist. Every six months. Book the next appointment at the current appointment. Jotted onto calendar.

On the pathway to being diagnosed with asd - appointments whenever they come through the post. Jotted onto calender.

All school events put on calendar as soon as we know about them, sports days, non uniform, term dates etc

No clubs at the moment. No extra curricular.

Clothing, as and when. Same as school uniform. Just do an online order as needed.

Passport, whenever it's close to expiry.

Eye tests haven't had yet. So far been done at school and all good.

Don't think there's anything else but the most important thing is making sure everything gets written onto our weekly planner on the fridge. Can't forget then!

Definitely advise making DH / DP fully in charge of some eg clubs. Mine does all the rugby admin / WhatsApp / subs / kit / volunteering / puts fixtures in diary / sorts out socials etc.

And when DS started secondary we split the apps - he got homework, I got payments.

Make sure DH is also on all school databases for emails.

Yes definitely chicken pox vaccs. I had CP aged 45, caught it from my 5 year old. It was bad. All those years not catching it and then..

Also I had spent my pregnancy stressing about getting it after Dr pointed out I hadn't had it and absolutely must avoid catching it etc.

I'd have had the jab years before if it had been available.

I did pay for DD to have a meningitis jab when she was about 8 - there was a campaign at the time to make it free to young children on the NHS but that never happened.

I was thinking this too.

Think really carefully about sports that require weekend matches. Every weekend forever and training multiple times a week. It has a serious impact on everyone in the family.

I think this as well, it really surprised me that some people find booking a dentist appointment etc to be a huge challenge that needs a specific slot in their calendar with time set aside. I always wonder how they cope with work.

I feel like it’s never ending. I get about 3-5 school emails most days!
other things that haven’t been mentioned yet (I think):
-passports
-birthday parties (presents and cards)
-special school days that need costumes (we had Viking day now World book day)
-sports clothes: football, ballet, swimming
-instruments
-staying on top childcare vouchers
-topping up lunch money

non-stop sorting through outgrown clothes and toys!!

100% this

Dentist always sends a letter when the next appointment is coming up, I don't have to book anything, so that's easy. DD gets a basic eye check every year at school, no issues have ever come up so not had to go to a proper optician yet. Health care is organised at school so again I don't have to book things unless she gets ill outside of school, she gets a check up every year with the school nurse and every few years with the school doctor and every 6 months the physiotherapist comes to check on her scoliosis.

Under school age DS requires more effort from me as I have to book his check ups myself except for dentist, that comes automatically, but he starts school in the autumn and has just switched to school health care now so will get easier.

Its the things like hobbies that take up time, DD plays volleyball which requires parental involvement like running the cafe at home games (and one month a year doing the cafe for every event at the sports hall - each team is responsible for one month), attending parent meetings to discuss tournaments and fund raising, and of course taking her to practice and watching home games. DS will start doing sports and other clubs soon, once he's old enough so double the effort required. Remembering to pay fees but her volleyball club is good at reminding us!

They don't do special dress up days at school or anything like that here, and school trips are very rare (ones that require signing a form, anyway. Trips to places in town don't require any input from me, we just get informed they're going and that's it), lunch is free so no need to worry about paying for lunch, no uniforms to worry about, homework is things they can do themselves rather than build a castle out of toothpicks or ridiculous things like that so again I don't need to deal with that unless DD needs me to explain something (maths). All in all, not too much admin to deal with.

I'm really shit at organising haircuts, even my own.

@Simonjt I go to work, and our dentist is an hour away..so yes, it does require planning for us.

Thank you all for the helpful answers. There's been a lot of great and insightful replies.. those belittling my question have really pissed me off tbh. First of all, I didn't grow up in the UK, so don't know the ins and outs of school etc. Secondly my mum died when I was a teenager. So if I ask a question on the internet, it's probably because I can't find this support elsewhere. Thanks for making me feel like a dumb shit, when I just want to be a good provider to my kids.