I really hate boiled sweets

[LuckyMum1989]

My DD5 was offered some sweets at the school gate today for another child's birthday. She (of course) went for the hard lollipop and a boiled sweet.

She knows we don't have snacks until we get home so I slipped them in her bag with no fuss at all. No need to ask her to swap them in front of the birthday girl and her parents.

I have reached a point where I can cope with the lollies. In our house they are called "sitting down sweets" and the rule is you have to sit down while eating them. I think she's had three ever (similar times - a gift in a party bag, at school gate or whatever). And I always just watch. But I couldn't cope with the boiled sweet. The thought of it going in her mouth and her sucking it and misjudging and choking was just horrendous!

DD was brilliant about it. I just said "I have just checked this sweet and it's a bit dangerous for children so I will buy you some children's sweets at the weekend and you can decide about this one - bin or Mummy or Daddy can have it later". and she accepted that with no fuss. So this time it is not a problem.

But I really find the thought of her eating them difficult. I know LOADS of parents don't mind at all and I feel like I'm being so silly about it - but I seriously can't do it.

Are there any other hard-sweet haters around? And have any of you ever got over it? I don't want her to miss out and I know I had these sweets when I was little (a bit older than 5 I think) and was aware of the risks as my Mum made sure I understood before I was allowed them. Mum was very nervous about them as well, so even having them as a child, I was very careful.

I know it's totally my issue, and no judgement to those who let their kids eat these sweets but something in me just blocks it! Will that get better as she gets older or do I need to force myself to just cope with it? Any tips?

I wouldn't let my 4yo have boiled sweets or lollies. I've seen horror stories of the lolly coming off the stick and causing choking so a definite no-no for me until she's much older

I agree.

My 3yo goes to a class where they give them a lolly at the end. It's usually one of the hard, round ones, and for the past 2 weeks it has come off the stick so is basically just a choking hazard loose in her mouth 😨. I'm going to buy something myself and switch it this week but I want to message the lady who runs the group and ask if she'll change to giving different sweets.

If anyone has any tips on how to word it I would be grateful!

I'm the same but I don't think it occurs to some people - I had to explain to DP at Halloween why I wasn't ok with DS1 having a lolly while running around the streets. Like you I have a sitting down at the table rule (which DP now completely agrees with) but the reality is that I surreptitiously bin them if I can get away with it. Luckily DS1 absolutely loves chocolate so is very on board with any swaps I offer.

Have a swap bowl and just swap them out everytime. You're right to be concerned, they are a choking hazard.

My dad always gets a bag of drumsticks in the car and swapped any hard lollies over as soon as we got them.

I wouldn’t want a child of that age to have boiled sweets

Exactly the same concerns here OP, and my pet hate is seeing children running around with lollies (or indeed any food) in their mouths. See it all the time when out and about - even kids on bikes with lollies. I also worry about the lack of proper eyes-on supervision of my kids when they are eating at school. My fears of choking are definitely a reaction to the stories I have heard coming from paramedic friends and colleagues in kids A&E.

DM was a nurse and so we were never allowed them. She used to whack them with a rolling pin and we ate the shards. This was the 70s so a treat was a treat, and there wasn't spare money to replace them.

I thought you were being mental about health/sugar until the chocking bit. That's totally reasonable of you - my gran knew someone who let their 5 year old daughter eat one of the jelly cubes directly from the packet (undiluted) and she chocked and died.

I hate then and always have. My dc are teenagers and I still hate them having anything like that. Scares me to death.

I have to say we have allowed it. I think that yes, there may be a risk but it must be pretty small. Any lolly I've had is like welded to the stick.
That's not to say incidents don't happen but I feel it could happen on any piece of food.

I never let mine have boiled sweets until they were about 6 or 7 and lollipops were sit down sweets. I remember choking as a kid on a lolly pop that slid off the stick it was really scary. just get her other sweets at the weekend as you promised it's fine.

Jeez I do this too. 🤦

I am so glad I am not alone!
Poor little love can lick the lolly but not put the whole thing in her mouth and I felt like I was just being "that parent" so am really relieved that others feel the same. There seems to be such a relaxed attitude that it did feel like I was the only one!

Eventually she gets bored and says she doesn't want any more of it and I relax!
I can't stand seeing toddlers in pushchairs with a lolly in their mouth so until she turned five we had a hard "no" rule. I'm just not really sure at what age you start to feel a bit more relaxed about it.... I can't imagine ever being happy about it which I know is a bit OTT! 🤣

If it was up to me, I would have a 25YO DD saying "I'm not allowed lollies" hahaha

I used to make mine lick them no crunching 😂

I've never touched them even as an adult
I was eating one as a child in the car, mum had to do an emergency stop and I choked
Never eaten one since

You are not being unreasonable. I've only just started letting my 8 year old eat those sorts of sweets and she knows to sit down and eat it carefully. At 5 I woukd eat it and but a small chocolate lolly to replace it.

I did actually nearly die inhaling an illicit boiled sweet I was eating in bed, aged seven. It was only my mums intuition that made her came upstairs, where she found me in bed unable to breathe-she whacked me on the back and I survived.

YANBU, and things like cadburys mini eggs are a choke hazard too. I'm always surprised how many don't know to cut grapes in half too.

I nearly choked on a boiled sweet once whilst in the car, aged 10 or so, thus the risk never truly goes away. I somehow inhaled the wrong way or wanted to talk to someone and it was suddenly stuck in my throat. I panicked, saw stars everywhere and couldn‘t speak or tell anyone in the car what was happening. Luckily it dislodged and I swallowed the entire thing. Would not wish to repeat that experience

Well that's a few more horror stories to add to the collection! I feel vindicated now!

Yeah I agree with you, I'm normally very lax but we know of a little boy who died choking on a boiled sweet, it's just not worth it. Plenty of other sweets for them to have!

I was pretty chilled about this.
Then ds had a very bad choking experience while strapped in his car seat aged about four I was driving. We had to stop and bang it out.
It was very scary and I was much more circumspect afterwards.

I bloody hate ‘sweets’ full stop, as in boiled sweets, lollies, haribo, sherbet. All pure crap that’s not even food and wrecks kids teeth. It’s so hard to manage a healthy diet when they come home from school every other day with bags of this shite and it IS every other day! Happy to admit I just confiscate it and tell DD she can’t have it because it’ll make her teeth fall out. I don’t mind chocolate and cake in moderation but a lot of this stuff is just sugar and e-numbers, it’s awful.

Of course you're right not to let her! No way does my 5 year old son ever have lollies or boiled seeets (or popcorn or whole grapes or uncut sausages for that matter). People are very uneducated about choking. You are absolutely doing the right thing.

I'm always surprised how many don't know to cut grapes in half too

Quarters (lengthways)!