I really hate boiled sweets

[LuckyMum1989]

My DD5 was offered some sweets at the school gate today for another child's birthday. She (of course) went for the hard lollipop and a boiled sweet.

She knows we don't have snacks until we get home so I slipped them in her bag with no fuss at all. No need to ask her to swap them in front of the birthday girl and her parents.

I have reached a point where I can cope with the lollies. In our house they are called "sitting down sweets" and the rule is you have to sit down while eating them. I think she's had three ever (similar times - a gift in a party bag, at school gate or whatever). And I always just watch. But I couldn't cope with the boiled sweet. The thought of it going in her mouth and her sucking it and misjudging and choking was just horrendous!

DD was brilliant about it. I just said "I have just checked this sweet and it's a bit dangerous for children so I will buy you some children's sweets at the weekend and you can decide about this one - bin or Mummy or Daddy can have it later". and she accepted that with no fuss. So this time it is not a problem.

But I really find the thought of her eating them difficult. I know LOADS of parents don't mind at all and I feel like I'm being so silly about it - but I seriously can't do it.

Are there any other hard-sweet haters around? And have any of you ever got over it? I don't want her to miss out and I know I had these sweets when I was little (a bit older than 5 I think) and was aware of the risks as my Mum made sure I understood before I was allowed them. Mum was very nervous about them as well, so even having them as a child, I was very careful.

I know it's totally my issue, and no judgement to those who let their kids eat these sweets but something in me just blocks it! Will that get better as she gets older or do I need to force myself to just cope with it? Any tips?

Hated them and didn't allow them.

I like to think I’m a pretty relaxed parent, but I still feel uncomfortable about DD eating boiled sweets and she’s 12! I didn’t let her have them at all when she was younger.

We were in a restaurant with a big group a few years ago and the waiter brought out those hard round mints with the bill. I was about to say something to DD when one of the other parents, who is a paramedic, held one up and said it was exactly the size of a child’s windpipe. Was good to know I wasn’t being irrational!

I agree.. my daughters never had them.. some of my Grandsons have chewy sweets .. youngest doesn't like any sweets.. all prefer chocolate but very rarely.
They prefer Choc cake / donuts as treats.

I hated them too. There was a child here that chocked and died at their own birthday party. Scared me!

When you consider and data as we have here, there are so many incidents-it begs the question why haven’t they been banned?!

If on school grounds I would mention it to the school. My nephew choked on a boiled sweet at about that age (he is okay). I also hate lollies. It puts you in a really awkward position by that parent.

I would refuse to give and suck up the tantrum. Give her a Freddo instead.

Oh, same! I'm not an anxious helicopter parent type, but my one thing that I am absolutely terrified of is choking. I'll probably still be cutting my now 3-year-old's grapes when she's 15 😆 - boiled sweets and lollies are a no. She was given a hard lolly a while ago and against my better judgement I let her have it - lo and behold it came off in her mouth. It's just not worth the risk.

I'm not saying you are wrong about the sweets but my kids were taught to bite into grapes, they all were 20 years ago. I never heard about anyone cutting them up until recently. If you teach them to bite it's a skill for life, what happens when you don't cut them/they are out?

Me, they give me mega choking anxiety

I'm not saying you are wrong about the sweets but my kids were taught to bite into grapes, they all were 20 years ago. I never heard about anyone cutting them up until recently. If you teach them to bite it's a skill for life, what happens when you don't cut them/they are out?

Ohhhhhhh so those poor kids who died from choking on a grape... it's obviously their parents' faults for not training them to bite into them properly 🙄
Ffs.

Far from alone. I saw a very young child that had clearly just started walking, toddling around a play area with a round lolly in her mouth this afternoon. I mean each to their own and all that. But it shocked me a parent sould consider it dafe at that age!

I wouldn't let my child have them either.

But just to put the fear of god into everyone about choking. When I was about 12 a friend and I were dicking about with leftover party poppers from a party. I invented a game where we'd pop them and then have to blow the streamers to try and keep them floating in the air.

Lots of frantic blowing followed by one massive inhale of breath from me and the streamers were sucked into my windpipe. We were already completely hyper and my friend laughed hysterically at me, not understanding the severity of the situation. I couldn't breathe or call out to my parents (in another room). Thankfully something kicked in and I practically stuck my hand down my own throat to pull them out.

Absolutely shit myself and I'll never forget the utter panic and terror I felt.

I absolutely hate it when my daughter comes back from parties/trick or treating with these. All boiled sweets are banned in our house. My 2 year old choked on a piece of satsuma a few weeks ago (I managed to slap it out) so not taking any chances with sweets!

Could you hit it with something so it breaks up into little bits, then let her eat it? That's probably what I'd do. (Unless I fancied a boiled sweet myself, in which case I'd definitely be offering a swap for something else!)

It sounds strange but when you see so many people who act like it's no big deal, you do start to wonder if it's just you!

Reading these stories has definitely confirmed that my instincts were right and fortunately I've never been able to lift the restrictions due to my concern about it, so there's no need to backpeddle and rewrite rules now (although I would if I had to).

I will continue with the lollies are sitting down sweets for licking only (not putting in mouth) and will just sit and watch her lick them. And a big fat no to all other hard sweets!

And of course my terrors now include jelly cubes and party streamer things (and I was already a grape warrior). I am so sorry to hear what some of you have gone through.

I suppose a follow-up question is:

If offered them in tbe future by a parent in a similar situation, do I mind my own business and politely decline without giving a reason? Or do I say nicely why I'm saying no? I know it's so important not to judge or shame other parents for their decisions but I can't help but feel if parents had read some of these stories, they would feel/act differently? Should I say something or keep my beak out?

I’m an anaesthetist. Worst thing I have to deal with at work is being called to A&E to try and fish sweets or grapes out of dead children’s airways whilst the parents watch.
As an adult I don’t eat lollies, grapes whole or boiled sweets and I get upset if my adult relatives do tbh.
Please follow choking guidelines

💐❤️😔

It sounds strange but when you see so many people who act like it's no big deal, you do start to wonder if it's just you!

I fully agree. I've been at parties that have served whole grapes, whole cocktail sausages, popcorn and lollipops... I've just looked around the table in disbelief at all the parents letting their kids get on with it. Then I feel like a weirdo for tearing up the grapes and not letting him have popcorn etc.

I was really pleased at a party recently to see a parent doing the same as me and we had a chat about choking hazards - felt less alone!

I once chocked on a small 'chocolate football' at around 6-7 years old while talking to my mum. Luckily my dad was working out back I just remember him holding me upside down by my ankles and banging my back until the ball of solid chocolate dropped out of my windpipe 😥😰
I've never been so scared in my life that it has stuck with me.
I am terrified of them.
As and single mum of 3 grown up sons they have never had 1, any of them 😳 I've told them and all the mums I've known over the years.
They should be banned for young children. Children in general.
I too get the lollipops and boiled sweets thing.
The joys of Motherhood 😁

No I wouldn't let small children have hard candy like that. Besides I even hate the name boiled sweets.

See this is why I love being on here. You learn something new everyday. I'm going to be more cautious now. Can't believe I gave my 3 year old and 6 year old a small brown of grapes whole last week.