Enjoying the newborn days

[S0T1RED]

Hi. I’m looking for some perspective please.

I have a beautiful 10 day old baby. He’s not really been any trouble so far, but I’m already finding myself wishing away the months until he gets to an age when he will be “easier” and more predictable.

I’m trying to establish a feeding and napping routine and am reading sleep training threads on here which are only suitable for much older babies. I’m already struggling with him being in the same room as me all the time and am looking forward to being able to put him down in his own room at 6 months.

I really want to enjoy these early days / weeks and not wish them away, but the more I try to relax the more anxious I get that I should be trying to control the outcome already.

Please talk some sense into me!

I hated the newborn days. I was so sleep deprived. It gets better. It depends on the baby really, ours took until 14-15 weeks before he slept a bit more at night and I came out of the newborn haze and got used to broken sleep. It feels like forever in the moment but time goes quickly. I now somehow have a 10 month old and it’s amazing seeing how much he is progressing.

What really helped me with the routine is planning things to do in the day. I didn’t do much of anything in the first 6 weeks. Then I started going on daily walks with ds in a sling and it was great to be outside for 20-30minutes a day. When he was 12 weeks old I took him to a baby group. Having the routine helped me think of the day in stages and it’s helped him become familiar with the music, lights and seeing other people/babies. We now go to two baby classes and swimming each week. He’s finally starting to enjoy aspects of each class and it’s great to see. Also I made friends in the classes who are going through the same experience roughly with 1-2 months difference in age so it’s great for me too.

It’s so so tough those early weeks and no one seems to warn you! I felt very similarly to you and tried to find a rhythm/routine which actually just made me more stressed. If you can, try to let it all go as there’s no semblance of a routine at all for the first few months. I think any stage of parenting it’s so normal to look forward to the next developmental stage and so tricky to stay present. Don’t beat yourself up over feeling this way! Parenting (especially being a mum) is insanely hard and the biggest adjustment ever. My one piece of advice - don’t get caught up in trying to force yourself out to classes until after 3/4 months. Of course this will work for some but I wish I hadn’t succumbed to the pressure of this as it added more stress when all I needed to do was focus on the basics for me and my bub. Look after yourself and feel all the feels! X

Just to say hope you’re doing ok and things got easier :)

I managed to get into a "rutine" around 3-4 months where both of my babies started to sleep through the night.
I never force anyhing - they eat and sleep when they want. Eventually, your baby will figure out his own rutine.

No routine at 10 days old. This is the 4th trimester.
My advice would be to enjoy the baby snuggles. Get people to come and see you at home, let family and friends look after you so you can look after baby. Now is your time to chill and learn about your baby.

Enjoy as much as you can (despite the sleep deprivation) as you will never get to is time back.

This is. so familiar to me! I felt like this with my firstborn. 10 days is very early - you do need to just 'go with the 'flow' for a while. BUT if you don't manage to relax into it a bit (so far as you can ever 'relax' with a tiny one). If you start to feel you''ve made a big mistake (I did.) Then go to your GP and explain how you feel. I waited a long time to do this and didn't manage to begin to enjoy parenting for a long time - looking back - v sad for me, and baby)
G P diagnosed post natal depression. I was treated and gradually 're emerged'.
I'm not saying you have PND. It's probably the 'newness' of it all, and the need for control ... Hopefully you'll be fine soon, and begin to enjoy parenting..
But if you're not ... Don't be afraid to seek help. Please!
Good Luck xxx

Old thread!

OP’s newborn is now 10 months old

Old thread but happy outcome!

Now I can’t believe how I felt back in February. I started taking anti-depressants and the fog lifted. I’m so pleased that I got help and have managed to enjoy the last 8-9 months.

That's good to hear! Society puts so much expectations around certain life events and really everyone experiences things differently. I found babyhood easy but so boring. Toddlerhood much harder and then a few easy years then teenagedom - psychologically the absolute hardest. Others may think totally differently.
So glad you got some medical help. While parenthood is a total roller coaster asking for help when needed is so important.