Is starting a PGCE with a 1 year old wise? How did you cope going back to work after maternity?

[Kitkatgoosie]

I'm starting a PGCE Secondary course in September to become an English teacher. This was my plan before baby and I told myself I would do it when she's 1 years old in September 2024 (she's currently 7 months) to continue my career path and build a good life with two incomes for her.

However, my partner is considering starting a job in the police (he left a police employment opportunity when we moved locations) so he will be busy, I'm not sure if it's wise for both of us to be immensely busy and stressed when she's only just turned 1 and will still need us a lot.

I've also really struggled with postpartum anxiety and find it extremely difficult to be away from baby girl. The most time I spent away from her was 2 hours in A&E and I left before getting my results because I couldn't stand to be away any longer. I don't even leave her with her dad, she's EBF and I don't manage to pump milk that would make up a feed, so often it's been the anxiety of her being hungry when I'm gone. As I think about doing my teacher training I am ambitious for it but the thought of leaving baby with anyone but me or my partner is terrifying and is breaking my heart. I just want to spend every day with her and I don't know how I'll concentrate on anything but the thought of her and if she's okay and how I miss her.

Basically I'm scared that if I do a PGCE, as it's so intense and time consuming, that I 1) won't get to give my baby the attention she needs and deserves or spend the time with her I want to, or 2) I'll hate the experience and be so stressed out that I have a breakdown or don't perform as I should.

Does anyone have any advice? If you went back to work after maternity, how did you cope?

Having just done teacher training i would say it will be tough - kids get loads of bugs when they start childcare and one of you would need to take time off - quite a few PGCE courses do part time over 2 years - that might be an opition

Do you mind me asking what a typical day looked like for you whilst you did your training? I.e. workload and did you get to rest in the evenings and weekends?

The workload is what stresses me out, even if I can bring myself to leave her.

To be honest I’ve found it very tough returning to work. I initially planned to go back full time but have settled on 4 days a week and would actually prefer to work 3 days. My DD was a good sleeper prior to 12 months but that changed as soon as I went back to work and we had endless teething and illnesses. The illnesses have been very brutal over the first winter and I have needed a lot of time off while DD has had various fevers and the odd stomach bug. Some of these resulted in quite bad sleep deprivation so even when she was well enough to back to nursery I might have had a week of almost no sleep and be barely functional. I was even hallucinating at one point. I have also caught a lot of the bugs and found it hard to recover while not getting any sleep.

On a more positive note your baby will be much less reliant on breast milk by age 1 and should not need to drink any milk during the day so I don’t think you need to worry about that. Mine goes to nursery and while the settling in period was a bit rough she is happy and they do lots of things that are a bit of a pain to set up at home.

A typical day for me was...

7.15 drop DC to childcare

8am arrive at school

All day delivering lessons. Any spare moment planning.

4pm leave school and collect DC.

4-8 - Cook dinner, spend time with them and put them to bed.

8pm - midnight - plan for the following day.

And this repeats relentlessly.

Police officer training is nothing compared to the intensity of this. Your DH will really need to step up, although he will have zero flexibility with his role whilst training.

My advice is to seriously reconsider. I had a year of guilt and high stress - to the point where my hair was falling out.

I would seriously consider postponing your course for at least a year.
PGcE is very intense. Your DH will also be doing something very intense. Your very young child will be settling into be cared for by strangers and catching every illness know to man.
School hours are bare minimum 8-4. I rarely leave before 5:30. Secondary will come with a LOT of paper work, planning and marking. Never mind being physically and emotionally draining.

The needs of a 7 month old are very different to those of a 12 month old.

My daughter was barely out of my arms at 7 months and dad couldn't provide much comfort too her but by 10 months dad had her on his own for 1-2 nights a week whilst I was in hospital for pnd and she went to nursery on those days. By 10 months he could provide food not that she ate much and we had move to formula so she was no longer tied to me. She started nursery 2 days a week when she was 9 months and still breastfeed. She went in with formula as a just in case some times she had a few Oz other times she didn't. She had a good breastfeed before and afterwards.

12 month olds needs are less reliant on mum. They can be fed food by most people, drink cups of water or cows milk in the middle of the day. They can move and start to articulate their needs so don't need you to be their mind reader.

I went back to work at 13 months on a phase return due to my pnd. I started with 2 days a week and by 15 months I was on 4 days a week where I have stayed. This was due to the long term impact of my mental illness as I'm bipolar rather than my needs as a mum.

Could you get in touch with your course provided and see if there is anyone currently on the course in a similar position to you to see how they are coping. As a disabled student would always be happy to talk to other potential students with similar disabilities and how that might impact the course and I would also do the same from a parenting perspective too

Slightly difference circumstances, I’m doing a masters in psychotherapy, but I shared a lot of your fears and doubts. I started this when DD was 4 months, she is now 17 months and it has taken me until now to begin to not feel resentful. Even though it was my decision I felt a lot of resentment towards my partner due to the overwhelming emotions at leaving her.

it sounds like a PGCE is very intense so I would look at postponing and see how that feels. Ask yourself if a fear of not pushing hard to get somewhere is fuelling your desire to do it now. That was the case for me and on reflection I could have taken a year off and in the grand scheme it wouldn’t have mattered.

if your pp anxiety has manifested as a fear of leaving her, as it did with me, then I would seriously avoid having to put your mental health under that much strain unless absolutely necessary. Is your partner supportive? I didn’t tell mine how anxious I was and I really wish I had.

now my DD is older the anxiety around leaving her has lessened, I feel she is reaching the age where she can make herself understood and that’s a huge shift when leaving them with others.

good luck!!!

PGCE is incredibly intense, as is teaching. As an ex teacher of 30 years I'd say, avoid teaching like the plague unless you never want to see your child.

I think it's hard-core, but you should do it. (And I'm saying it as someone who started it and quit!) It's only one year, good luck!

I honestly think you'd be mad to consider this, but then I wouldn't recommend teaching as a career (I left after 14 yrs).

It's not just the PGCE year that's intense. Your first couple of years at least will be just as intense, especially if you end up in a school with unsupportive leadership (highly likely). There's never any let up tbh because things keep changing and goal posts keep shifting.

I'm not saying you couldn't do it, but it would come at a cost and you should go into it with your eyes wide open.

But it's not only 1 year.
Teaching is intense with loads of stress and very long hours.

I would seriously reconsider, OK. Sorry if that's very negative. I was fully trained and settled at my school before my first maternity leave. It was still TOUGH going back because the hours are long and there is work to do outside those hours. I ciukdnt have done my PGCE year with a small child, it's just too intense at times.

My DH did his PGCE year when out WE was tiny - she was born in September. He hardly saw her - he left before she was awake and got home about half an hour before she sent to bed. At weekends he was planning and marking.

I love the balance teaching gives me - the holidays are amazing. DH and I are both around for the full summer holiday with our children, which is wonderful. BUT I'm an experienced teacher. During the training period the paperwork you have to produce is time consuming and soul destroying. I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone that has young family, and certainly not a 1 year old.

Sorry. There's a reason why there's a recruitment crisis. The training is unreasonably tough and it's not compatible with decent family life.

I would think it though very carefully. I am a teacher and DH was in the police. With him working shifts and you working long hours on placement it will be very difficult. You are both in effect starting new jobs so won't want to take time off if DC is sick which is likely when they start nursery.

Teaching is not at all flexible - I have been teaching for many years and have only managed to do it by having grandparents who can cover any childcare issues. Yes the holidays are great with children but anything term time and you need a great support system in place!

I took a year for maternity and got a new job in the last few weeks before I was due to return. As it happened, my partner and I both started new jobs on our oldest child’s first day at nursery. He got ill a LOT those first few weeks and it was a nightmare. It was 2021 so every time he got a temperature he had to go for a Covid test, but even when that died down he got recurrent tonsillitis and ear infections, and it was an altogether fucking awful 6/7 months where I was really worried about keeping my job. My partner was all in it with me and did his fair share of sick day cover, sleepless nights etc. 6 weeks in to nursery, DS got norovirus, and I found out that the diarrhoea can last up to 2 weeks the first time they get anything like that. His actually lasted 10 days, and of course we got it too. He was at home with us for 2 weeks while we worked from home and juggled our meetings about, as we couldn’t get childcare to cover and couldn’t have any more time off for fear of failing probation (as it was I had my probation extended).

I actually said a few times around then that I was really glad I wasn’t teaching any more as it wouldn’t have been manageable. We don’t have any outside support as we lived some distance from family.

It’s not that long since I did my PGCE and I would not have passed it if I’d had to deal with going into it straight from maternity leave , with all the nursery bugs, lack of sleep - the workload is huge.

Schools are not tolerant of staff absence for any reason. They don’t care if your child/your mum/relative/you are sick, you are expected to be in unless someone actually dies, and even then don’t take the whole day (although my many years of supply show me that when people need to be off work, they are off!).

School HR (in my experience) have a zero tolerance for absence and this includes for caring duties. Friends and colleagues have ended up on ‘report’ due to absence for child care, with one having disciplinary proceedings (and we both think she would have lost her job had she not left first!).

After PGCE you’ve got NQT year (if they still call it that) which is essentially PGCE part 2 with another folder of evidence and is just as gruelling.

I personally would not want to do a PGCE straight out of Mat leave. It is going to be really tough. If you haven’t already, get your baby catching all the germs now, as often as possible (my 6 month old is hardcore now she’s had about 10 colds from her big brother, she just bounces back now). My experience was a bit extreme as we were coming out of a year of lockdowns and my first had never been exposed to any bugs, but nursery starts are rocky for sickness normally. if you have relatives that can help you with this even better. Emergency childcare won’t come to sick kids, it’s generally to cover for sick childminders.

For me a typical day of PGCE training:
First 12 weeks college based. Easy enough. Some homework, I’d probably spend an hour, 2 hours after college doing tasks or subject knowledge.

School based -
7:30 arrival
I can’t remember what percentage my timetable was. I think I had 20% or 25% PPA (someone will correct me!) so taught for 3 out of 5 lessons a day. PPA times was spent planning. An observation needed a gold plated lesson plan which was several pages long, plus resources, at least a couple of hours work. My placements were really hard to get to. I didn’t drive (learn now if you don’t!) and I had to get 2 buses, a train and then a taxi each way for my second placement, I was knackered. It would have been a 50 minute drive though too. I usually wolfed down dinner then would be planning lessons, filling in my evidence folder, filling in my class diary (track one class through placement and write detailed notes on them) again until 9/10 pm then up at 5 to start all over again.

I very rarely saw anyone outside of school or training for PGCE year. It’s all consuming. If you are sure teaching is for you then good luck but I would consider either you or your partner deferring for a year as with a small child and both of you going into roles with similar high stress, and so demanding of your time will be very difficult. It doesn’t mean you can’t do it, just go in with your eyes open and plan contingencies for sickness, high workload weeks, marking - I was English too, very time consuming and was assessment heavy, although I’ve been out of teaching for a few years now so things might have changed. All the best with it x

Woah big post. sorry about that! x

I'm not a teacher, but work in a school.
I'd say training year is tough, and needs rock solid childcare, and a primary parent that isn't attempting a PGCE.
I'm not sure a police job - presumably with shifts - will provide the cover needed. Can your partner postpone for another year?

Do you mind me asking what a typical day looked like for you whilst you did your training? I.e. workload and did you get to rest in the evenings and weekends?

Leave the house at 7.15/7.30, and back at 5/6. Lesson planning, evaluations, portfolio and essays in the evenings and all Sunday afternoon. The PGCE was intense (my then boyfriend did all cooking and cleaning for the year whilst I worked or slept!), the NQT year was even harder, as you are responsible for your own class, but the year after that was tough too as you lose all the extra non-contact time and suddenly start having to lead on subjects for the whole school (unpaid and with no time given!). I wouldn’t touch teaching with a barge pole if I had my time again.

What childcare have you got planned@Howsoon23 ? What if the child is ill? Do you have robust plans?

Physically impossible if you without your partner taking on the lion share at home, which isn't going to happen if he's also doing training and shifts.

Don’t do this. It’s honestly not a family friendly job. I was an English teacher for fifteen years. The years when my dd was small were bloody brutal and I’d already secured a job. It would have been impossible to have done it during pgce and the first year. I struggled on with it and went part time but it was still super hard and I hated not being able to do school pickups and having to have her in long hours in breakfast and afterschool club. Bringing work stress home and piles and piles of marking impacts on the time you do have with your kids. It’s honestly a shit job. I would go spare if one of my kids wanted to teach. It’s drudgery, thankless, stressful drudgery. When I got pregnant with my second I decided to leave teaching and tbh I have not looked back.

There’s another post very similar to this, you may want to check it out.

I am supportive of new mothers teaching. All babies are different though, as are all teaching jobs, so it’s hard to predict. My baby has been on the same routine since she was 3 months old, and is now 14 months old.
7am wake up
8am nanny arrives and I leave for work
4pm I get home
6pm baby goes to bed

If I brought work home, I’d do it after 6pm, but I’ve never brought work home. I did a schools-direct course, so was teaching from day one. Good luck to you; teaching gives me a much better work life balance than my previous corporate career where I worked 7am - 7pm, with a vile commute, no PPA day, and no school holidays!

What do you get from this? Why lie?

1. Directed hours is more than 8-4 so you are breaking your contract and would have been out of a job years ago
2. There is no "PPA" day. Secondary you get frees spread across the week for PPA. Primary you get a half day at some point during the week. If its a full day it's fortnightly.
3. Half an hour before/after school + lunch is not enough time to do the job. Not even enough time to mark and plan let alone everything else!
4. Schools direct pro forma for lesson plans were 3x A4 pages per lesson. Bollocks could you do that for 6 lessons a day between 8-4 while simultaneously teaching.
5. Schools direct required essays and uni work which took all evenings and most weekends.

I’ve just left teaching because trying to have children alongside the job was just not for me. Obviously people do it but I know I personally would find it unsustainable. I would not have been able to cope with having a baby and doing the PGCE, a woman on my course had young children and frankly she didn’t cope very well. I’d like to think there are women who manage well even with young kids but I suspect it is often much harder. I’ve known MEN who have done their PGCE/NQT/ECT years with very small babies but it was hard and realistically they were not primary carers.

Another teacher here OP - honestly, don't put yourself through it with a young child. It's gruelling & it doesn't stop after the first year. It's not much better 20 years down the line!
Personally I wouldn't consider it until your little one is getting their funded nursery hours or ideally at school themselves.

I also call BS on the PP who leaves the house at 8 & gets home at 4! 😂

Tbf I did the schools direct route and didn’t find the workload as intense as others describe - it w up in the summer but I found the autumn term pretty easy - but I had a lot of experience in schools, I was old/assertive enough to say no to things, I am very competent at essay writing and I essentially did the bare minimum as far as lesson planning went because I had the confidence and ability to get away with that. I still wouldn’t have coped if there was a baby in the equation!