Help a FTM to be… does a new baby really need 3 beds?!

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Everyone says we need: a cot for the nursery, a next to me crib for our room, and a Moses basket for day sleeping downstairs.
Do we really need to buy all this while I’m pregnant? They’d only ever be in one at a time!

We have been looking at the Mamas and Papas Lua as a next to me, I like that the side of the crib has a button to push it up or down as opposed to a zip. It also doesn’t need attaching to the bed, which is great as I would never want to cosleep anyway.

We only have a small house. Would it be so inconvenient to bring the Next to me up and down the stairs each day from living room to our bedroom?

How did you make it work? Trying not to be suckered in by marketing & overspend, in order to redirect my money into savings for mat leave. Thanks

Mine slept in their pram downstairs during the day when they were little and then Moses basket upstairs at night. I think it helped to differentiate between day/night. And once they were older babies they went down for a nap in their cot in their own room through the day.

Ditto

We also had a cot in the bedroom for both kids. The first was in a tiny house where with both doors open it wasn't that different from same room. The second was in a big house where bedroom had adjoining doors that we left open.

I would have been happy to have them nap apart from me with a baby monitor (the evidence on the benefits of room sharing is actually very tenuous) but they never would; one only napped in a moving pram when little and the other only napped in a sling.

So I did have a Moses basket but it wasn't much use other than maybe the first few weeks with DS1 when he would consent to be put in it!

As I recall the Moses basket was actually mostly useful for somewhere to put baby down for a minute while you (e.g) have a sheet, go to the loo. Rather than actual sleep. Those snooze pods work equally well.

Have a shower. Not a sheet. Autocorrect 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Both of mine were in a next to me until 6/7 months and then moved to a cot in their own room once they'd outgrown it. Bought a moses basket for DS1 but he didn't like so we gave it away and never bothered with one for DS2. Both napped in a nest, on the floor, in the livingroom during the day.

The Moses baskets are outgrown so quickly. We just had the cot, in our room to begin with, then moved to baby’s room. Flat bit of pram downstairs for daytime sleeps.

We had a Chicco next to me and you wouldn't be able to carry that up and down stairs, it's very heavy. Was borrowed from a friend but I would absolutely buy one (second hand) if having another baby as it was invaluable.

Daytime sleep was in the pram bassinet (on the floor) once we progressed past the newborn stage of never being put down. It was safe for sleeping. Was handy as you could attach it to the pram and leave the house without waking the baby.

We had an IKEA cot bought at around five months which converted into a cot bed, and we only got rid of that at Reception age so it lasted really well.

All babies are different though. Mine was a good sleeper after about 12 weeks, and was fine to sleep on his own. We've rarely co-slept, only for the odd night of illness or teething. I know some children who are regularly in their parents' bed well into primary school. So you've no idea which type of sleeper you'll get.

Never had a next to me type bed for any of mine, they all had a Moses basket and I'd just carry it downstairs during the day.
I did have a cot in the babies room and they'd go in there during the day if I needed to do something upstairs.

A few babies later we had twins and they just shared a cot at the foot of our bed, and in the day they shared a travel cot in the lounge, or slept on the rug if that's where they fell asleep!

I wouldn't rush out and buy various beds though, one to start with and see how it goes.

You need something for the baby to sleep in in your bedroom, and something for downstairs. A basic small crib is fine it doesn't have to be anything fancy like the next to me.

You don't need anything additional in the nursery just yet because babies should be sleeping with parents close by for at least 6 months so buying a large cot/cotbed can wait unless you have space in your room for one.

We had a moses basket to move around the house but it was a waste of money really they are very small and don't last long. By 6 months my sons legs were dangling over the edge and he weighed one side down if he wriggled down so it wouldn't rock 😂 if you have a pram with a proper cotbed attachment that will be fine for downstairs.

I remember we ended up using all 3 for our eldest as we initially bought a cot bed for nursery and hand me down moses basket for our bedroom, and in the day either ended up taking moses basket down or using the carrycot attachment of our travel system. However, she grew out of the moses basket before 6 months and the cotbed was far too big for our room, so we ended up getting a crib too. With our youngest the plan had been just to use crib (and then cot bed when older) , and carrycot downstairs but a friend lent us another hand me down moses basket so we used that downstairs which was handy as it was always in the corner ready. So think about how long each thing will last baby and how big your bedroom is before you decide.

However, I would say if you get a cot bed fur when they go in their own room it is well worth it as they can use it for ages once you convert it to a bed. Ours just have been used about 10 years in total (2 kids using it about 5 years each). But yes you don't need it until you want to put them in own room (I think we did start some day time naps in there before 6 months, but kept them in with us at night at least 6 months)

Ours had a moses basket, then a cot upstairs. Downstairs I just put them on a folded up towel on a corner of the floor when they were tiny.

Don't be swayed by all the marketing. Babies across the world have managed with very little equipment since time began.

We used all three but not all at the same time. Only buy what you will use initially now and the rest later. We initially had a Moses basket in the living room and a Next to Me but as a newborn DD hated the next to me as it was too big for her and we got another stand for the Moses basket and just moved around. Mostly slept on me downstairs but I used the Moses basket as a safe place to put her while went to the loo or answered the door (floor is fine for this if you don’t have pets). Only problem with using the pram downstairs is that it could get muddy in winter.

Slept in the Next to Next to me from 2-6 months then in the cot. If you plan to travel and want to buy a travel cot that’s another option for one of the beds - sone of them have a newborn setting.

We also never co-slept - it’s totally up to you whether to try this or not but it’s not for me.

OP you couldn't carry the next to me up and down the stairs with the baby in, so where are you putting the baby while you do it?

I slept in a drawer for quite a while apparently.

There isn't but sometimes its about balancing risks. It's 6am, baby has cried every time you put them down and as much as you say you'd rather have zero sleep, you will find yourself drifting off. SIDS risk is 50x higher falling asleep on sofa etc compared to cosleeping according to guidelines. My DH works a job where he needs to be well rested, think chemicals, heavy machinery etc so when he has work nights are on me. If I know I'm tired enough to drift off, I put baby in a safe cosleeping space while I try settle them. 95% of the time as I hope I'm awake to try transfer into crib again. If I do fall asleep, at least baby is as safe as can be in circumstances. It's also much safer for me to cosleep a couple hours at the end of the night than fall asleep with baby on sofa later in day while DH at work. The NHS has changed its guidance on cosleeping for this reason. It's much safer to be aware of how to cosleep as safely as possible if needed to avoid unsafe accidental cosleeping which carries a much much higher risk.

I've got 2 moses baskets. Travel cot and a cot

We had the pram carry cot downstairs (on the pram wheels for #1 and on a dedicated stand thing for #2), a next 2 me in our room and then a cot bed in their own rooms. They were all used plenty (apart from the carry cot on #1 as she would only sleep when held the little fecker). The next 2 me is bigger than the carry cot so you would get longer out of it at night - they were able to stay in that until they moved to their own rooms. If you get a proper full sized cot bed they can have that until they're 4ish.

I mean, I wouldn't fancy the faff, but the baby could be quite safely left on a play mat, in a bouncer, in the cot in their room, in the pram/buggy etc etc etc.

I had all 3 plus the buggy/pram carry cot. You don't need them! Moses basket I never used. Cot you don't need until about 6 months so don't think about that for now, will just be taking up extra space. I kept the next to me upstairs, you could take it up and down but would be a bit of a faff and you might need a bit of help. I got given the Tiny love 3 in 1 rocker and both my babies absolutely loved it, they slept mostly in it during the day and would lie in it for ages happily even when awake. It vibrates, plays music, can be tilted anywhere from lying flat to sitting upright, would definitely recommend.

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/bouncers-swings-and-rockers/baby-bouncers/tiny-love-3-in-1-baby-rocker-napper/p/184232

DC1 - moses basket in our room, hated it and learned to roll early so moved to cot in our room at 3 months. Downstairs slept in carry cot or on me. Did buy cot when pregnant as I wanted the nursery to be ready but we then had to dismantle it to move it to our room.

DC2 - next to me style in our room, moved to cot at 10 months. Cot was in attic until needed. Slept in carry cot, sling or travel cot in the day.

We had all three..
Tbh I liked having a moses basket that I could transport around, the lua is transportable, just take it off its base!

It is fairly heavy though which is why I used a moses basket.

The cot doesn't get used until the baby is out of the moses basket and lua...in my experience anyway.

Don't forget you'll have a carry cot on the pram too...so 4 places to sleep lol.

These babies, they're small but have alll sorts of stuff!

Also, just wanna say, we loved our Lua so much.. Deffo recommend.

We had a Next To Me (bought second hand but new mattress) and then a pram downstairs that was safe for overnight sleeping, but only did naps.

We bought the cot when he was 6 months old and used John Lewis vouchers that we had got as new baby gifts. It converts to a toddler bed so we’ve got a lot of use out of it.

No!

All you need for when your baby is born is somewhere for them to sleep. This could be a full sized cot straight away if you have space in your room. I used the bassinet attachment on my pram and pushed it around the house (single storey)!

A Moses basket you take upstairs and down is a good solution, next to me is just a current fad, not necessity