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Help a FTM to be… does a new baby really need 3 beds?!

105 replies

taratatata · 30/01/2024 18:08

Everyone says we need: a cot for the nursery, a next to me crib for our room, and a Moses basket for day sleeping downstairs.
Do we really need to buy all this while I’m pregnant? They’d only ever be in one at a time!

We have been looking at the Mamas and Papas Lua as a next to me, I like that the side of the crib has a button to push it up or down as opposed to a zip. It also doesn’t need attaching to the bed, which is great as I would never want to cosleep anyway.

We only have a small house. Would it be so inconvenient to bring the Next to me up and down the stairs each day from living room to our bedroom?

How did you make it work? Trying not to be suckered in by marketing & overspend, in order to redirect my money into savings for mat leave. Thanks

OP posts:
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Kalevala · 30/01/2024 19:35

I didn't think of a pram as we didn't have one, but a proper pram with a carrycot would work fine as a bed.

Username917778 · 30/01/2024 19:35

We had a baby box from Scot Gov for the living room and a next to me in our bedroom for the first 6ish months. We didn't buy a cot until the 6ish months time. And the baby box lasted about 6 weeks and then she took all her naps on my chest/in her pram!

MsSquiz · 30/01/2024 19:36

DD1 slept in the pram carrycot downstairs and a next2me upstairs. Her cot was in her room pre-arrival and she didn't even nap in it until around 6 months - when she stopped napping downstairs.

DD2 touched the next2me for around 20 mins and ended up sleeping downstairs in a snuzpod that we were given as a gift for the first 5 months of her life (with either DH or me in the same room) or she slept on us! She went from there to her cot for nights but napped on us during the day.

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C00k · 30/01/2024 19:36

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon It’s best practice to avoid SIDS that the child be in the same room as parents, not so you can hear them, but so they can regulate their own breathing.

michaelmasdaisies · 30/01/2024 19:36

I would get pram for downstairs naps and next to me for upstairs naps/ nighttime. I wouldn't get a cot yet as you may end up co-sleeping/ decide on a floor bed etc.

ProfessorPeppy · 30/01/2024 19:37

I know you think you don’t want to co-sleep but…

Safe co-sleeping is your best option, especially if you want to breastfeed. Prolactin is highest at night, therefore babies feed at night to boost supply. A Next2Me crib is ideal for this and will save you lots of getting up and down.

I never bothered with a cot/crib, my two never slept in them anyway.

taratatata · 30/01/2024 19:39

ProfessorPeppy · 30/01/2024 19:37

I know you think you don’t want to co-sleep but…

Safe co-sleeping is your best option, especially if you want to breastfeed. Prolactin is highest at night, therefore babies feed at night to boost supply. A Next2Me crib is ideal for this and will save you lots of getting up and down.

I never bothered with a cot/crib, my two never slept in them anyway.

Imo there’s no such thing as safe co-sleeping. I have researched and although it might work for some families, it only takes one to be in that statistic. Too many risks for my liking! Maybe I’ll eat my words but I’d honestly rather sleep zero or do shifts with my DH. Still like the idea of the Next to me though as it’s bigger than a Moses and easy to get them in and out. Thank you.

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 30/01/2024 19:44

I was the same as you OP. I've never co slept with my kids. It just felt too risky.

Parker231 · 30/01/2024 19:45

SecondUsername4me · 30/01/2024 19:13

We quite often would lay the baby on their change mat on the floor (blanket on it) in the living room. Worked a charm!

DT’s did a lot of their napping on the floor inside the playpen!

sciencemama · 30/01/2024 19:49

I had a next to me crib for dc and a cot that went in the sitting room for naps during the day. When they grew out of the next to me crib, the cot went into the bedroom.
Ds soon after transferred into a toddler bed (we lived in a 1bed at time so space was limited but when we had dd she went straight into a normal sized bed after she outgrew the cot (we'd moved by the time she was born and that was when ds transferred to a normal bed too.

gerteddy · 30/01/2024 19:50

I had all 3 but ofcourse they aren't all needed. Certainly not all at once. It does makes life easier though.

I had a snuzpod next to me bed and u can lift the bed part off the frame. This is supposed to be so u can take it downstairs. However it's quite bulky and heavy, doable but not after a c section and not something I'd want to have to do everyday even if I hadn't had a c section. Moses baskets aren't usually that expensive but they don't last very long either. Maybe 2-3 months depending on size of baby.

U cld get the cot later on when needed. I sometimes used the pram for naps when she was bigger if I had it in the house but it often lived in the boot of my car though.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 30/01/2024 20:15

you don't need a next to me crib or a cot for the nursery. baby won't be sleeping in nursery for at least 6 months. just a moses basket will do for now and you can put that next to your bed and move it round the house.

TheCraicDealer · 30/01/2024 20:38

taratatata · 30/01/2024 19:39

Imo there’s no such thing as safe co-sleeping. I have researched and although it might work for some families, it only takes one to be in that statistic. Too many risks for my liking! Maybe I’ll eat my words but I’d honestly rather sleep zero or do shifts with my DH. Still like the idea of the Next to me though as it’s bigger than a Moses and easy to get them in and out. Thank you.

I was exactly the same, two kids in and both struggled with reflux as newborns but even when I was exhausted they always went back in their bedside cot. Just to counter those who said their various sleeping locations were never used, once we got the reflux sorted with both (thank god for carobel) they’ve been amazing sleepers- they do exist, and they’re not that unusual.

When bedside cot manufacturers say “portable” I think they often mean, “you could bring this for a weekend stay with the in-laws”, rather than “can be easily moved from room to room”. They typically fold flat and mine (Tutti Bambini Cozee) came with a travel/storage bag, not that it’s ever left the house. There are models like the snuzpod (sp?) where the top sort of pops off and you could, in theory, take it downstairs with you. But the space for the baby on these is smaller, so you’ll not get as long out of it. Plus, where’s the baby when you’re carrying the damn thing up and down the stairs?! I still occasionally throw DS (8mos) in our bedside cot to contain him when I’m getting dressed, but he’s making moves to pull himself up so I’ll have to bite the bullet and put it away.

If you’re trying to cut down on what you’re buying new I would get a bedside cot off marketplace (new mattress, obvs) and a pram with a sleep safe bassinet. I think the iCandys, Bugaboo Fox and Uppababys all have this, I’m sure there’s plenty more. Cot can wait until they’re 4 or 5 months- personally I liked to use it as another holding cell for my kids when I was putting their laundry away or sorting outgrown clothes, and as it got closer to the 6mos eviction (although DS was in with me most nights until he was over 7mos) I would put them in there for short naps just to get them used to sleeping in their own room.

taratatata · 30/01/2024 21:33

TheCraicDealer · 30/01/2024 20:38

I was exactly the same, two kids in and both struggled with reflux as newborns but even when I was exhausted they always went back in their bedside cot. Just to counter those who said their various sleeping locations were never used, once we got the reflux sorted with both (thank god for carobel) they’ve been amazing sleepers- they do exist, and they’re not that unusual.

When bedside cot manufacturers say “portable” I think they often mean, “you could bring this for a weekend stay with the in-laws”, rather than “can be easily moved from room to room”. They typically fold flat and mine (Tutti Bambini Cozee) came with a travel/storage bag, not that it’s ever left the house. There are models like the snuzpod (sp?) where the top sort of pops off and you could, in theory, take it downstairs with you. But the space for the baby on these is smaller, so you’ll not get as long out of it. Plus, where’s the baby when you’re carrying the damn thing up and down the stairs?! I still occasionally throw DS (8mos) in our bedside cot to contain him when I’m getting dressed, but he’s making moves to pull himself up so I’ll have to bite the bullet and put it away.

If you’re trying to cut down on what you’re buying new I would get a bedside cot off marketplace (new mattress, obvs) and a pram with a sleep safe bassinet. I think the iCandys, Bugaboo Fox and Uppababys all have this, I’m sure there’s plenty more. Cot can wait until they’re 4 or 5 months- personally I liked to use it as another holding cell for my kids when I was putting their laundry away or sorting outgrown clothes, and as it got closer to the 6mos eviction (although DS was in with me most nights until he was over 7mos) I would put them in there for short naps just to get them used to sleeping in their own room.

Thank you! Can’t tell you how helpful this has all been. As luck would have it, tonight we have actually found a Tutti Bambini Cozee on marketplace for £30 so we’re going to go for that and buy a new mattress. I’m really happy with that!

OP posts:
michaelmasdaisies · 30/01/2024 21:34

If you're adamant against cosleeping and there's space in your room I would skip the next to me and just get a cot.

PinkPink1 · 30/01/2024 21:45

I just got a next to me crib. I didn't bother with a Moses basket. Baby either slept on me or someone else or she slept upstairs.

AlltheFs · 30/01/2024 21:48

DD only slept on me for naps downstairs and co-slept in bed at night (not my choice initially-it was that or die from sleep exhaustion).

She didn’t use our bedside crib once and didn’t set foot in the cot until 15 months old.

I’d wait to see what sort you get!

Omma23 · 30/01/2024 21:57

bogoblin · 30/01/2024 18:18

We did a next to me style cot for night time sleep to about 6 months. Once he'd outgrown that, we bought a full size cot for night sleep. During the day he would nap in the pram bassinet (came as part of the pram we bought so no extra expense and he'd either nap in it on the living room floor or on the go if we were out for a walk ) or contact nap or carrier nap.

I don't think there's any point in buying a big cot yet if they're not going to be in it!

All of this. Once LO had outgrown/began to hate the pram bassinet we bought a travel cot for the living room as we were buying one to visit family anyway….. It became a laundry dumping ground, as by then I was confident enough to have LO napping in her next to me in the bedroom with the monitor on if not napping on me.

Before the baby’s arrival I’d say you only need their nighttime bed (next to me etc.) and see if you need to buy something once s/he’s here or whether you can make do with the pram bassinet, carrier etc.

Molly0 · 30/01/2024 22:01

I was hoping someone would say drawer!

Fundays12 · 30/01/2024 22:11

I had a crib that did from birth to 6 months in my bedroom and used the carrycot in the pram for sleeping in downstairs for all my kid. I made sure it had a good safe mattress and lay totally flat. There was no way I was lifting a sleeping baby from a comfy warm carrycot to a moses basket. They then had a totally different style of crib upstairs. It helps babies know we're they sleep in the day and bedtime.

boomingaround · 30/01/2024 22:12

You don't need a bed for the nursery until they go into their own room at 6 months old. You don't even need to have a nursery until they go into their own room.

khaa2091 · 30/01/2024 22:15

Moses baskets are quite Marmite, and consequently often available in good condition inexpensively on FB marketplace. Mine was great, and I used it until my daughter was about 6 months old.
i wouldn’t buy a new one and your baby may not cooperate with going into one.
I had a Snuzpod by my bed and was given a cot/toddlerbed that she went into a 6 months.

StampOnTheGround · 30/01/2024 22:15

We had the nursery cot ready, the next to me and just used the carry cot part of the pram to sleep downstairs. Moses baskets are grown out of so fast and most babies end up having contact naps, so I wouldn't waste the extra money!

Blanketpolicy · 30/01/2024 22:28

Ours was 19 years ago, we had a cot that was set at the highest level next to my bed (with a gap big enough for me to get in and out) and he napped downstairs in his pram which had a mattress. My nieces baby naps in her cot at home.

Someone gave us a swinging wooden crib but we got rid of that within days as he was a big baby and would wake when he hit his arms off the side bars when they escaped from his swaddle.

There is so much you can buy (we did!) and you don't need half of it!

Setphaserstaemalky · 30/01/2024 23:24

We got a next to me which took a while to get him into. There was a period of co-sleeping. When I was confident he was safe on his stomach he slept happily in the next to me.

Any naps at home were in the baby box (Scotland) and the rest were out and about in the pram. If you have a full bassinet for your pram, baby can sleep in that at home too. We never had that part for our pram.

Then a cot from 8 months that adapts to a toddler bed and will do til he's about 4 or so.