Child is not in any extra curricular activities..

[brummyadele91]

I have a 9 year old only child and she is not in any extra-curricular activities e.g gymnastics, brownies, dancing, swimming etc etc. I've really noticed all her friends have clubs out of school and even ones that are quite late.
I find that by the time she gets home from school and we've had tea and done some homework and she has chilled out a bit, she is shattered. Weekends I don't like to have set commitments incase we decide to have a day out. I have noticed our way is unusual as most of her friends are in clubs and their evenings are accounted for.
I was just wondering if anyone else child was the same as mine eg: no extra-curricular activities out of school?

Personally, I think this is a mistake. Extra curricular are really important, even if it's very limited. It's an opportunity for them to learn different things, with different people, in a different setting. It fosters independence and helps them to identify things they will love or enjoy that they might not discover out of school.

Surely a Saturday morning activity of her choice is not going to cramp her style that much? Or one day a week after school - just plan things so that you don't have lengthy dinner or bed time routines. Surely she doesn't have THAT much homework?

What time is she home etc?

I agree with you re weekends so we don't have any fixed commitments. However, my children have had weekly swimming lessons since they started school (one has now completed the course thankfully). This was a non-negotiable. And they do do a range of after school activities including youth club, art club, football, music lessons (at great expense and which involve me taxiing them around). Apart from the swimming, they only do things they choose to do. As well as this, they go to after school club three days a week. I think it's really important to allow them to explore/pursue their interests and to socialise outside of school. Personally, I want to offer them as many opportunities as I can and try my best to facilitate where possible.

OP, do you pick up at 3.15pm (or thereabouts)? What time does your child go to bed? What does he/she do for that length of time every day?

Parent me - my 4 year old is in 2 extra curricular activities. Both in the week because, like you, I like to keep the weekends free for family time! One is 4:30-5:30 and one is 5:30-6. Time for a snack after school and then tea afterwards. The 6pm one is on a Friday so the later tea doesn’t matter so much but he’s always asleep for 8. In the week, he’s always asleep for 7 even with the 5:30 finish one day.

Teacher me - not all the children in my class are in extra curricular activities. Some families cannot afford it, some families have complex contact arrangements which makes it hard, some families work shifts and can’t make it work. There are lots of reasons.

It is good, but a very privileged, position to be able to do extra curricular activities. I think it is good for children to have different circles of friends; especially as they get older and friends become the centre of their world.

If you are in a position where it is difficult but you want her to do something, you could look to see if school do any after school clubs? These are often cheaper and straight after school and give children the opportunity to get to know others outside of their immediate class.

Most families I know with dc of that age are doing 2-3 extracurriculars. The ones that don't, do that because they either can't afford it, don't have time to ferry them around (often working and put in after school care every weekday) or some have SEN and can't manage it.

Good point. She's just not mentioned wanting to join any and I've not really thought about it much until lately since hearing about her mates going to clubs etc. on an eve we chill out and play games sometimes cook together or go for walk if it's nice. Sometimes have mates for tea or see family etc maybe it's something I should consider.

Children can get so much from extra curricular activities, be it sport, music, something like Cubs or Brownies, drama. It seems a shame not to have ever offered anything to her.

I also felt with mine, swimming was non-negotiable. You miss out on so much if you can't swim.

mine only did extra curriculars that happened in the school after-school club because I work full time and can't take them to other stuff. they also did lots of holiday clubs but no need for things at the end of a long school day if they are tired.

We do swimming at 9:30 on Saturday so we still have most the morning and it's gets us up and about when we use to lay in bed until 10.
Football and ballet double as Childcare!

Is it just the two of you at home?

Seems a bit intense if so, but I'm not sure it is wrong

I have a 9 year old too. She swims, horse rides and plays hockey, drama, piano practice (lessons during school). She has plenty of time to read, TV, paint, have friends over, play with siblings and board games with us too. So, from my experience, some children have a high capacity and love of extra curricular activities. None is really quite limiting.

I don't have school-aged kids yet but I don't think this is a big deal unless your daughter wants to do an extracurricular. I didn't do any as a kid until I was older and in secondary school because I was obsessed with reading and would rather have been doing that, or otherwise having play dates with friends. It didn't affect me negatively at all.

However thinking about it we were lucky to have regular holidays where we practised our swimming or our parents would take us swimming at weekends. I agree swimming would be a great extracurricular club if she doesn't do it much otherwise.

Yes we do holiday clubs I must admit. Some have been gymnastics and some sport based

Yes mostly just us two as husband often working

Good idea

Yes we have play dates and library and reading and ways seem busy otherwise

What about swimming? I think at the very least, swimming lessons would be beneficial

My 5yo is extremely energetic so does extra curricular 4 days a week (swimming, skateboarding, athletics and breakdance). I am also very energetic and wish my parents had got me into sports or physical activity after school. Some kids however would be shattered and not able to cope with it. They might prefer something crafty or musical. The key is finding what they gel with and running with it. One afternoon a week is fine. I think it's really important.

That's fab she does all that it's not even crossed my mind as we always fill our time but yes some great feedback here

I think if you can afford extra curricular activities it is a good idea for children to take part in at least one.

Having a commitment for an hour at weekend or in an evening isn't going to be too much of a bind.

It also helps for my own mental wellbeing as a lone parent!

I think many kids do far too many things, their parents over-programme and it isn't beneficial.

However I think most kids benefit from doing something. Just pick one thing.

Having extra curricular friends can be REALLY helpful if your child falls out with their classmates!

I would have said the same about my DC being too exhausted for extra curricular activities a couple of years ago. Because of a condition my youngest developed we started doing swimming twice a week. Then my middle child wanted to do soccer and his brother decided he wanted to as well, so we got into that, training after school with weekend games.

Its been great for my eldest's self esteem and anxiety. Id really recommend doing a team sport as they can get so much out of it. I think too that being able to swim safely is really important. I do find my kids do better if we go home for some downtime before doing after school activities. This means they run later in the evening, but they need the break inbetween.