Genuinely feel like leaving my family

[testy1997]

Baby is 6 months. 2 under 2. Toddler is fine. Baby has been horrendous from the beginning. Bad with milk. Sleep was meh. Fussy as anything. Doesn't go to anyone. Hasnt weaned well.

I genuinely feel like leaving my family tonight. She's meeting milestones so nothing untoward going on. I just cannot do this anymore. It's so fucking hard. I hate being at home. I hate feeding her. I hate listening to her whinge all day.

I just don't want to be here. Not sure why I'm posting. I just am sat in the car sobbing

Hugs OP. DS1 was an utterly miserable, high needs baby (and he didn’t sleep). It was awful. I only got through it because it was covid and DH was on reduced hours entirely at home, so I very rarely had the baby on my own. DH is now out 3 days per week 7:30am -6pm and wfh the other 2 and I literally wouldn’t cope if DS1 had been born now. DS2 (6 months) only cries if he needs something (tired, hungry, change of scenery, picking up etc) and as soon as you meet the need, the crying stops. Sounds stupid but it’s like night and day parenting him, it’s so easy. You are not imagining how hard your second born is. I really feel for you that it’s this way round - I regularly thank my lucky stars that I got horrendous baby out of the way first
without another child to consider.

If it’s any consolation, DS1 became a piece of piss to parent as soon as he could walk and talk. Utterly delightful age ~ 1 - 3. More challenging at age 3 again but nowhere near as bad as the first 12 months. Cliche but you just have to hang on in there and get through each day.

You have made it through because mums somehow finds it in them to keep on, you are very strong, parenting is so so hard, give yourself a break, the nursery won't send your child back, being with other kids, copying them eating, sitting, etc. would actually be very good for your little one. My dd is almost two now and a lot easier but I remember feeling like you, and you have two to worry about.. It will pass, stay strong xx

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Put her in childcare - honestly they won't dislike her, fussy babies are quite normal to them. It's what they are trained for . Sending hugs.

Thank you everyone. I know you can't change it but it's helpful to know my feelings are valid. Sometimes I feel ungrateful and wish I could cope better. But I just can't.

And yes I do have a husband who does more than 50% to get us through. It's just he does work and so most of the childcare ends up being me

Please take the ADs, they really do make a difference. I didn't feel worse but they did take a couple of weeks to kick in.

You're doing better than you think.