Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Toddler Laws !!!

59 replies

fernyburn · 21/12/2004 19:46

I though this would bring a smile to those stressed mums out there !!!

Toddler Property Laws

  1. If I like it, it's mine.

  2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

  3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

  4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

  5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

  6. If I'm doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine.

  7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.

  8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

TODDLER RULES

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into anything and everything.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fisil · 14/01/2005 18:42

Sit on the potty indefinitely until Mummy & Daddy get bored and put me in the bath. Then announce "wee wee" and produce.

Demand chocolate, toy car etc. repeatedly for hours if necessary until Mummy/Daddy give up the will to live and give in to me. Then have a full blown tantrum on the floor cos I just discovered I don't want said chocolate/toy car etc.

alexsmum · 14/01/2005 18:45

does anybody else think that the character 'andy' from little britain(guy in wheelchair) is based on a toddler? ie." iw ant that one" " i wanted the other one" know what i mean??
the other ownership rule is ...if it's broken it's yours!

louisse28 · 15/01/2005 22:24

When it comes to dinner time I will not eat anything placed in front of me, even though it is EXACTLY the same as what mummy and daddy are eating. If Mummy offers me something from her plate I will seem interested until the food is mm from my face and then I will reject the food. I will only eat dinner when I am at my nanny and grandad's house, and I mean any grandparent... just not my parent's house!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

justme27 · 01/12/2008 02:29

I wanted to add to this thread to bump it!!!

It's hilarious!!

I'm awake at stupid o clock because my dd (16MO) continously wakes up and this time I can't sleep.

Reading this had stopped me feeling disheartened and fed up and has reminded me of all the infuriating reasons why I love her!

Will be forwarding to everyone!

justme27 · 01/12/2008 02:30

I wanted to add to this thread to bump it!!!

It's hilarious!!

I'm awake at stupid o clock because my dd (16MO) continously wakes up and this time I can't sleep.

Reading this had stopped me feeling disheartened and fed up and has reminded me of all the infuriating reasons why I love her!

Will be forwarding to everyone!

dinkystinky · 01/12/2008 20:41

I love this thread!

Few to add -

Whichever parent I have taking care of me, I will demand the other one instead.

I will love reading the same "magazine" (being the toy pages in the Argos catalogue) over and over saying "what is that, what is that?" even though I've read the same pages hundreds of times before.

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 01/12/2008 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mum2oneloudbaby · 01/12/2008 21:15

Glad i have got to the end of this i am in danger of waking dd by laughing to much.

XmasLollipopViolet · 01/12/2008 21:35

More rules (from a non parent but who remembers her own toddlerhood):

If you've got something, and I then get one exactly the same through crying, yours is infinately more interesting

If mummy parks the buggy within reach of the bus bell, it WILL be pressed at every opportunity.

When told to gently touch/stroke a younger/smaller child, I will do so while you're watching. Then hit them. When you look away for 2 nanoseconds.

When I learn to walk and you try to show auntie/uncle/granny/grandpa I will sit firmly on my bum and refuse to move.

(I've never done these but I've seen them!)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page