When did your child potty train?

[Usingthings]

I have tried a few times now but he doesn’t seem ready. What I’m wondering is how I know when he’s ready - will he just ask to use the toilet or potty?

You need to reset. Go back to nappies for a few weeks and try again, but with a proper method from the beginning this time.

The thing is, you’ve missed the golden window which is 20-30 months. Before that they’re too young to understand, and after that they have too much willpower and independence to just go along with it as it’s “what we do”.

Oh Crap is the best method, but with your son being much older than the golden window it may not work as it should.

It’s a skill you need to teach - you need to teach him how to connect “I need a wee, I am weeing, I wee in the potty”.

My boy was just turned 3, had tried unsuccessfully on and off from 2.5. Was weeing in the toilet no problem almost from the start but pooed his pants for about another 6 months. He just didn't care and nothing I tried helped! Anyway it all finally clicked and then very quickly he also went dry at night too.

That sounds similar @TheBeeb but did he instigate going himself? That’s what’s most concerning me at the moment, there’s no ‘I need a wee mummy.’

How have you come to the conclusion that your child has learning difficulties or developmental delays due to potty training taking a while? You've not mentioned any other reasons as to why you think your child is delayed so unless there's a massive dripfeed, getting this stressed about potty training is ridiculous and is only going to rub off on your son.

There's no need for you to be so snipey or rude. I'm also allowed to point out to you other ways to try as your ways clearly aren't working. You said you tried the toilet and he was playing with the taps and toilet paper. So my reply was to be consistent and firm and keep putting him on the toilet. It's not more effort. Potty training is effort.

Don't post on a mums forum for advice if you're just going to shoot down any suggestions given.

Skipping the potty at this age is the best way.

Keep putting him on the toilet. Rinse and repeat. He's too old for the potty.

Re the development issues, you said you had a 3 year old who cannot sit unaided. Most babies can do this by 9 months,most long before that.

I haven’t come to the conclusion. I think it’s a possibility based on the fact we’ve made no progress over a significant amount of time and he does seem to be a fair bit older than most of the children on this thread (and RL.)

I have been using potty and toilet interchangeably. The potty is actually a child’s toilet.

@Nannyfannybanny id be seriously worried if I had a three year old who couldn’t sit unaided. Your daughter apparently has a three month old sitting on the potty. I was slightly acerbically pointing out that my slightly older baby can’t sit independently hence she’s being held there. I don’t think holding a baby over a potty is something that will help in the future but who knows.

And @cornonthesnob I am not trying to be snippy or rude. I did try to explain to you at some length with lots of explanation of I’m feeling overwhelmed so sorry if this sounds … and I AM sorry if it sounds snipey or rude but equally I can’t pretend I’m finding your posts helpful.

Because you said you use the potty and toilet interchangeably.. my advice would be to stop doing this, and use the toilet consistently.

He will get there, he's not going to be in nappies forever. But you need to be consistent with one or the other.

We are misunderstanding one another a lot. I meant lexically I use them interchangeably.

Tried with dd when she was 2 and a half. Was very difficult, so we left it for a while. I think she was nearly 3 when we were successful, and it was very easy then because she was ready. We didn't have many day or night.

Thanks @gano i think this is what does worry me as most children who aren’t successful at 2 seem to be fine at 3. Maybe he just needs a bit more time? I hope so. And genuine apologies if I did sound sharp.

DS 2.5. He never asked for the potty, I just let him run around with no nappy on and very regularly sat him on it until he got the idea and started asking for the potty. It took a while. He wasn't night dry for another few months.

Self initiation can take months after being reliably potty trained. That isn’t your main concern here, stop focusing on that.

What would you say our main issue is?

We have just been to the park, he had a wee just before we went on and he’s wet himself. So I do think perhaps something isn’t quite right here. I fully expected accidents but I don’t know anyone else struggling to this extent this far into potty training. I think my first step is to contact the GP on Tuesday and we’ll see what she says.

3.5 with both my boys we tried both before that age but they weren't ready, loads of accidents. They were dry within about 5 days and we used pull up for the first few days they worked well for us but I know a lot of people hate them.

Using things, whoops, sorry, I thought I typed my DD baby was ONE in September!!

Echoing what PP are saying, get rid of the potty altogether.
Sit him down and say 'right it's time for nappies to go to the babies now' and put them away in front of him. Don't ask, tell him he needs to use the toilet. Constant reminders 'I'm taking you to the toilet now' instead of 'do you need the toilet' and keep on doing this.

Using the potty and toilet interchangably I don't think helps. Tell, don't ask.
Of course there will be accidents. As soon as we binned the potty DC got it in a few days. Once she was reliably dry in the day we stopped nappies at night and put puppy pads under her which really worked. She went from wet - dry day and night in just under 2 weeks at 2 years old.

My advice, stick to one thing, and you have to keep going with it. That one thing being the toilet. When he goes lots of praise. Make a sticker chart and when he has X amount of stickers he gets a prize. He should be old enough to understand 'no more nappies' now. 3 year olds are stubborn as hell it's what they're programmed to do, so his response is normal.

It doesn't mean your son is developmentally delayed, please don't let those posters get to you, its well within the normal range of development not to be ready for potty training at this age. You have been putting the effort in for weeks now, I really think you should take a break, for both you and your DS. You might find the break is what he needs to make the connections and be ready.

I think it's a good idea to get him checked out if he keeps weeing his pants 5 mins or shortly after taking him to the loo. Something doesn't sound right there and I can fully understand your frustration. It sounds like it's been a real struggle.
Does he have a lot of drinks with sweeteners or anything like that?

How long were you at the park?
Yes, initially it’s parent driven and I’d say every 2hrs the opportunity to empty their bladder needs to be offered.

Just put him back in nappies and forget about it for a couple of months. He is not ready. That is fine.

We were guided by our very experienced nanny who had trained loads of kids. She tried a couple of times when our daughter was two and said she wasn't ready. She tried again when our daughter had just turned three and she got it straight away and had just the very occasional accident when she was very absorbed in an activity and forgot to go.

You're stressed. He's not getting it. Just leave it for a bit.

Boys do tend to take a bit longer than girls. I haven't got a boy, but this is my experience from friends anecdotes and what my childminder said at the time. I would say to give him more time and then it shouldn't be too much of a battle for you.

@gano yes but equally easier to get them to pee behind bushes, on car tires, leaves and cheerios floating in the toilet.

Not always. I often just noticed his body language changing when he needed to go and would just take him to the toilet, forcibly if needed. I stopped asking and just told him to go to the toilet. He never ever used a potty, I had zero success with that. Just went straight on a seat on the toilet and then very quickly changed to standing wees.

With poos i was honestly tearing my hair out, it felt like he was doing them in his pants to spite me it happened so often! Turned out he just hated the feeling of it. I had to hold him down the first time he did one on the toilet and then he realised it wasn't so bad and he then went himself, but he was halfway through preschool year before it clicked.