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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

Is this my business anymore?

28 replies

lovenotwar149 · 29/12/2023 09:28

Hi ,
My 27 yr old son is going to Morocco in 2 wks, I have just recently found out as he doesn't live with me anymore.
He hasn't travelled since the pandemic. he is quite relaxed about it all and has not read anything about vaccinations etc
Is it my business to suggest and advise?
I did mention these things and he had a ' it'll be fine type of attitude. '
I am concerned.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Torganer · 29/12/2023 09:36

He’s 27 and lives on his own, he’s capable of planning a holiday. You don’t need vaccinations to go to Morocco anyway.

PaperDoIIs · 29/12/2023 09:43

Suggest and advise what? He's going on holiday. If there are any restrictions (doubtful) it's his job to check.

Frogglingalong · 29/12/2023 09:57

As above- no vaccinations needed.
I've visited Marrakech, Fes, Rabat, Tangier, Chefchaouen, Essaouira, etc. Main issues in Morocco would be getting ripped off and food poisoning, very unlikely to get into serious difficulties and most problems can be avoided with common sense. Hope he has a lovely time!

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Bearpawk · 29/12/2023 10:05

What vaccines do you think he needs for
Morrocco?

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 29/12/2023 10:21

Ok thank you very much for your replies, most appreciated! :)

Re vaccinations I read that Hepatitis B and typhoid were the 'recommended' ones.
He also hasn't had the covid jab

OP posts:
mollyfolk · 29/12/2023 10:32

Hep B is caused by bodily fluids and if he’s staying in a tourist area he’s unlikely to get typhoid. I didn’t get vaccinations going there.

Morocco is is well developed tourist destination - I wouldn’t be worried about him.

margotsdevil · 29/12/2023 10:33

He presumably hasn't had the covid jab as he won't be eligible?!

If he's capable of booking and paying for the trip he's capable of organising vaccines etc as required.

Frogglingalong · 29/12/2023 10:35

Unless he's trekking in the Atlas mountains and drinking from streams, I can't see how he'd get typhoid. Just be sensible about food and drink (i.e. bottled water). And Hep B is sexually transmitted or through dodgy piercings etc...

OneMoreTime23 · 29/12/2023 10:36

Christ on a bike. He’s 27, not 14.

madnessitellyou · 29/12/2023 12:48

Are you actually concerned about your son, in his late 20s and who doesn't live with you, going on holiday?

Carry on though. Eventually he'll stop telling you stuff to spare your neuroses so you won't need to fret anymore.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 29/12/2023 14:08

Thank you for further replies, appreciated

OP posts:
ginasevern · 29/12/2023 15:30

I can't believe the brutal replies on here. Why can't a mum be concerned about possible vaccinations when her son is going abroad. I can only assume the replies are from women who still have young'ish children and don't yet realise that you never cease to worry about the person you pushed out of your own body - even when they're 50! My Mum would quite feasibly have asked me at that age if I had all the right vaccines and probably urged me to look after myself too. What a wicked woman she must have been! If only I'd realised, I could have told her in no uncertain terms before she died.

Mischance · 29/12/2023 15:32

My adult DD has just returned from Morocco - no vaccinations required. She had a great time but had the squits for two weeks after she returned, in spite of following all advice about water, cleanliness etc.

LadyBird1973 · 29/12/2023 16:14

I'd be worried about mine. Taking an 'it will all be fine' attitude, doesn't suggest much thought or planning to me. But I'm an overprotective mother and think it's better to worry too much, than not enough, about my kids. He might be 27 but he's still your baby!

HamBone · 29/12/2023 16:18

I’d suggest that he checks up on vaccinations, the typhoid one is only effective for two years and I’d personally have it just in case.

Some friends became ill from ice in drinks so I prefer to play it very safe!

Thisreallyisntmyproblem · 29/12/2023 16:42

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 15:30

I can't believe the brutal replies on here. Why can't a mum be concerned about possible vaccinations when her son is going abroad. I can only assume the replies are from women who still have young'ish children and don't yet realise that you never cease to worry about the person you pushed out of your own body - even when they're 50! My Mum would quite feasibly have asked me at that age if I had all the right vaccines and probably urged me to look after myself too. What a wicked woman she must have been! If only I'd realised, I could have told her in no uncertain terms before she died.

I am sorry your mum is no longer alive. But honestly, aged 50, you wouldn't have felt even a little patronised and wanted to remind her you had been an adult for over 30 years by that point? It is on you as the parent to manage your anxiety around your kids no longer being kids and living their own lives.

I remember my mother trying to check on my vaccinations before I went on holiday aged 30. I had been in the armed forces for 4 years by that point! I had been in war zones. Pretty sure that I was capable of managing my own travel plans! And vaccinations should have been a far lower concern for her.

I think there is also a difference between casually saying 'hope you have checked if any extra jabs are needed' and going off to Google it, and investigate what might/might not be needed and start advising him accordingly.

JenJenJenJenJenJen · 29/12/2023 16:43

OP, when you were 27 whose permission did you seek to go on holiday?

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 17:16

@Thisreallyisntmyproblem

"It is on you as the parent to manage your anxiety around your kids no longer being kids and living their own lives."

Thanks for the condolences. My DM died 17 years ago and there are times when I still miss her.

I agree wholeheartedly that parents must manage their anxiety around offspring and naturally controlling behaviour is extremely damaging. I am not advocating anything like that. I'm just trying to point out to other posters (some of whom I thought were unpleasantly sneery) that mums never really cease to be mums.

You can't undo or stamp out years of caring (from literally wiping another human being's arse to waving them off war zones, as yours did). There are limits of course and I'm pretty sure we all know what they are but asking your adult offspring if they've had suitable vaccinations I don't really see as horrific. Maybe unwelcome, but surely just basic mumness (is that even a word)?

Asking if you've got clean knickers on or bringing your favourite teddy bear to the office, now that's a problem!

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 17:26

JenJenJenJenJenJen · 29/12/2023 16:43

OP, when you were 27 whose permission did you seek to go on holiday?

That wasn't the OP's question. Her son hasn't asked her permission and she hasn't expected him to. She asked for advice on vaccinations when travelling to Morocco.

OneMoreTime23 · 29/12/2023 17:53

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 17:26

That wasn't the OP's question. Her son hasn't asked her permission and she hasn't expected him to. She asked for advice on vaccinations when travelling to Morocco.

Show quote history

The OP’s ask was actually

“Is it my business to suggest and advise?”

To which the answer is NO.

I had been living away from home for 10 years and a homeowner for 8 by the time I was OP’s son’s age. I wouldn’t have expected (not was) my mother to be concerned about anything I was doing at 27.

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 18:03

@OneMoreTime23

"I wouldn’t have expected (not was) my mother to be concerned about anything I was doing at 27."

Really. Well good for you. So mother's are supposed to cease all notions of worry, concern or care for their offspring in any shape or form? What exactly is the cut off age for the (possibly surgical) removal of all emotions about the person you gave birth to I wonder?

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 29/12/2023 18:46

Its very interesting reading peoples 'differing' replies, very interesting indeed.i am quite grateful for them all.
I am actually quite proud of myself tbh. I come from a highly overprotective background, both parents were this way.I vowed to NOT to repeat this type of overprotectiveness with my own 3 sons. I have made soo much progress here and have a very closely appropriate relationship with all 3. They all cook, wash and clean for themselves , which they did when they lived here too. The 27 yr old is very independent. No he did not seek permission to go on holiday for his upcoming trip to Morocco nor his skiing trip in Feb. re skiing trip, he has never skied before so good on him for saying yes to going and with the 2 more experienced skiers he's going with. Now when that skiing trip comes about I will WANT to say something about 'being careful, if the other 2 experienced skiers go on black runs, be mindful that its your first time skiing' etc
Is that too much if I say something like that? I'm not sure it is.
My own mother would have said...
"Skiing, why do you want to skiing? Its so dangerous, dont go.'

OP posts:
Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 29/12/2023 18:49

ginasevern · Today 18:03

@OneMoreTime23

"I wouldn’t have expected (not was) my mother to be concerned about anything I was doing at 27."

Re expecting a mother to be concerned. Interesting choice of words.

I am concerned. I am not judging this I am stating this.

OP posts:
Thisreallyisntmyproblem · 29/12/2023 18:52

I think that is too much.
Just say, have fun, send me a photo. He is 27, old enough to decide for himself if he can do a black run. He knows it's his first time, he doesn't need you to remind him.

OneMoreTime23 · 29/12/2023 19:21

I am actually quite proud of myself tbh. I come from a highly overprotective background, both parents were this way.I vowed to NOT to repeat this type of overprotectiveness with my own 3 sons.

and yet……

I have made soo much progress here and have a very closely appropriate relationship with all 3. They all cook, wash and clean for themselves , which they did when they lived here too.

As completely normal, functioning adults do? (As I did from about 15 without anybody needing to comment on it?!)

The 27 yr old is very independent.

As he should be. And able to arrange a perfectly normal trip to a perfectly normal destination without needing reminding about (unneccesary) vaccinations or which ski runs he should attempt.

Can he have sex without getting a lecture about contraception yet?